I have a problem and am unsure what to do about it. My husband and I have been married for 27 years and have ups and downs but overall have a good marriage.
My brother-in-law (I’ll call him Bill), is divorced and had his marriage annulled. His wife was abused as a child and had major problems with alcoholism and anorexia. It was a really sad situation because they have 3 kids and she went through lots of counselling but couldn’t hold their marriage together.
Now, Bill has become a playboy, dating and having one night stands with women of all ages, including a one or two in their early 20s (he’s in his 40s). I feel sorry for his kids since they’ve had a really tough time of it and spending time with these women takes more of his time away from them.
My problem is that Bill feels compelled to tell my husband all about his escapades with these women. My husband has told me some of the details and maybe this sounds kind of silly but I don’t like this situation. I’m worried that these stories could have a bad influence on him. I know this sounds kind of insecure but we’re in our late 40s and,no offense to the men in the forum, but men at this age do strange things sometimes.
If your husband is a man who practices his faith, he will take care of any inappropriate conversations with his brother.
Your husband is a big boy, let him handle it.
Should BIL start to tell these stories around you or your children, tell him that the conversation is inappropriate then.
*I tend to agree with kage, but I’d tell my husband that I’m not interested in what his brother is doing…you can’t stop your husband from listening, but you don’t have to listen to his brothers gross sex stories through your dh–that is gross! :mad:
I will keep your brother in law in my prayers–he needs lots of prayers! :(*
Bill (to your DH) “Dude, I am so the MAN! I was out with this severe hottie and man you know she was only 22 and we went all night. Man!”
Translation: “Dude, I really hate my situation. I’m in my 40’s and trying to hangout with girls way younger than me makes me feel young for about 5 minutes but then that’s it. I have nothing in common with them and you know the one night stand part, it’s always THEIR idea. I sure wish I was in your shoes, but if I can convince you that I’m the one who has it going on then we will both be in the same boat”
I agree with this!!
“livnlern” I’m sorry you and your husband are being put through this. I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers. I wouldn’t hesitate to stop BIL… the moment he opened his mouth. I’d tell him loudly… “DON’T wanna hear it”. :tsktsk: (I had to do this, once… long ago… with my own BIL).
I think this type of behavior is exactly what Our Lady referred to at Fatima… “sins of the flesh”. I will pray for your BIL, too.
God bless you, dear soul
wow, that’s good! I agree. :o
BIL doesn’t tell these stories around me, only around my husband. My husband has always been very honest with me and I know that he’s worried about his brother.
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with this. My husband has said that Bill is very lonely without a wife. And I can sympathize with him on this. He tried really hard to keep his marriage together and was faithful to his (ex)wife. I think he feels entitled to some sort of compensation for all the hard times he had before the divorce–and there were a lot of them! The whole family has been through counselling. I pray for all of them, especially the kids.
When Bill had a steady girlfriend last year, he insisted on bringing her over to our house. Well, to put it nicely, she wasn’t the kind of girl a guy would like to bring home to mother. She wore scanty little tank tops and was extremely flirty with Bill and with my husband as well! She barely said two words to me the entire time they were here and spent the whole time laughing and joking with Bill and my dh. I’m telling this story because I’m worried that he might end up marrying someone like this and we’ll have to see her at all major holidays.:mad: I’m trying not to feel judgemental toward Bill but it’s awfully hard.
I love it… I couldn’t agree more!
Maybe your husband can do the translation for Bill and tell him it’s okay to feel somewhat frustrated but the correct response is to deal with it instead of trying to seem unaffected? It’s not too late for Bill to get his act together and find a wife. But you should be tactful and show some restraint in giving suggestions, I think - perhaps imagine how you’d like your husband to bring it up if an extended family member were telling you stories of the kind.
*Yes, nothing is as it seems…there is more than meets the eye in much of these situations. I feel bad for your BIL–praying very hard for him that he finds a nice person to date, and hopefully marry. Praying that his peace of mind also, is restored…
I still you tell your dh that you don’t want to hear the stories, though. lol :o*
Thanks for your prayers. I need to pray more about this too, especially for his kids.