Brother with Questionable interests?

I have a fourteen year old brother who has been diagnosed with depression. He started looking at forums and internet sites for things to do; he likes to play video games. Somehow, he got interested in the “furry” group and now considers himself one. He’s like to draw the anthromorphic art and even confided in me that he wanted a tail! I asked him if he truly understand what this group is and he looked at me confused. I worry this may lead him down a slippery slope and warned him to keep it only as artistic interest. I don’t know if he still feels the same way. I think k he got latched onto to these people because he was looking g for friends and found some people he liked. Unfortunately they liked this. I’m worried if I push him on it it’ll lead to worsening depression or a bad episode of depression. I dontthink my parents would understand or be gentke enough. What do I do?!

Furries are… well, it depends on the type of group he’s found. There are a few groups who just like the concept of anthropomorphic animals, and think it’s neat to contemplate how animal would behave if given human characteristics.

Unfortunately, the vast majority of furry culture seems to focus on the pseudo-sexual aspects of it. It doesn’t really matter if his intentions are properly ordered right now, pornography is incredibly prevalent in the culture, especially online. IT’s very difficult to do a search for furry images without coming across pornographic images, even with most safety filters in place. The furry roleplaying culture has a long-standing association with anonymous sexual behavior, and with placing the human sexual act on the same level as animalistic sexual acts (driven by instinct alone). While there are plenty of groups who reject this sort of behavior, it’s really hard to tell which groups are safe and which aren’t until you find yourself in a situation that you shouldn’t be in. Unfortunately, I’ve heard of more than one instance of predatory behavior in furry groups.

My personal instinct is that he should be made to stop. Unfortunately, considering his age and depressed state, trying to force him to stop would result in him become more deeply involved in the group and their mindset. I definitely think you need to confide in your parents, and find out which group he’s engaging with. There is a chance that it is just artists interested in this form of artistic expression apart from the common sexual connotations the art has, but you would have to do a lot of research to figure out if that’s the case.

theholyrosary.org/maryundoerknots

Though I cannot offer specific advice, I can only recommend this novena and say I will pray for you, your family and especially your brother.

Furries are sexual fetishists. That’s where it’s leading. It’s not at all healthy. No fetish is.

Try to introduce him to other interests, or encourage other interests that he has. The indirect approach will probably work best. And pray for him.

You have it wrong. Not all furries like the adult side. I know of a fur known as Tycho Aussie who hates the adult side of the fandom. I also know many in the fandom who hate the adult side. People should get to know furries on a personal level instead of falling into stereotypes about the fandom that they saw on CSI or some tv show explanation. Truth is those shows choose the worst people in the fandom,because they know people will buy it.People should get to know us furries on a personel level instead of thinking that all of us are the bad furries. I know many furs who don’t want anything to do with the bad side of the fandom.

There’s a number of furry groups out there. If he is seeing a psychiatrist, he should go with a parent to explore this interest. There is no way of knowing, outside of professional interaction, if this interest could affect his condition. The psychiatrist can also provide guidance to his parents.

Ed

Furry is like any other fandom like star trek,star wars,mlp:fim and such. Of course like any fandom there are those who take it to extremes. At a comic con i went to one person was going on about how furries make adult art and i was like. “so you never heard about star trek slash fiction,the adult side of anime,the adult side of mlp:fim,the adult side of comics?” At the con,some woman was giving a panel and mentioned superhero costumes for women being sexualised and such. Other fandoms have adult stuff,but it isn’t the basis of any fandom. Hopefully one day furry will get the same respect that other fandoms have. Other fandoms have adult stuff and get a free pass on it,while furry gets hate for it.

What interests has he had over the years - that his parents have told him to stop?

If he is a quiet boffin type and has always wanted his nose to be in a history book does that “make” his dad uncomfortable because “no son of his” does namby-pamby things like read history books?

Did he like painting pictures or making models? Some mothers can’t (yet) handle practicalities of ensuring a house stays tidy when “bits” need to be all over the place (it can be done in fact).

Do his intellectual attainments “make” his dad uncomfortable because his dad was put down at school or by your grandad? Some families have been influenced by bitter nuns who themselves were put down etc etc.

If any of these things are the case your parents need to apply DIY help (and seek out mutual self help if any) with their own SpLDs. As a dyspraxic single person I didn’t get any help till I was 42 and not much at that.

These situations are invariably framed as “problem child” whereas in reality parents have their own ongoing development needs too.

I hope you can become your brother’s co-conspirator and advocate in wholesome things that have been his lifelong loves.

It’s that he is into furry fandom. Many seem to have the wrong idea of the fandom and misunderstand what furries are about and discriminate against them. I have heard of one person who had their fursuit(furry animal costume) set on fire at a fan convention,i have heard of some have been beaten up and such.

startribune.com/call-of-the-wild-local-furries-say-they-are-misunderstood/306002911/

Personally I would try to first make sure that your brother is getting the proper medication/therapy for his depression. Most teenagers due to changes in hormones do not deal well with the depression medication, and a major depression at teenage years can be a symptom of something very severe that has happened in his life that might need significant efforts on the parents side to be involved.
A family member was initially diagnosed with depression at 19 and later we found out actually it was a schizophrenia, which needs quite different kinds of medication.

It will be very difficult to even reason with your brother without making sure he is actually able to reason properly.

God bless,
D.

This is a vacuum family.

Too much has been sucked out of all of you.

The remedy is not just to suck even more out of all of you but especially to allow yourselves constructive interests.

Your parents who aren’t gentle - what example do they set with wholesome hobbies?

What example do you set, yourself, with a wholesome hobby?

Your parents who aren’t gentle - what hobbies have they banned over the last 14 years (their own and yours included)?

Because of non-existent diagnosis and support in specific learning differences, children are becoming depressed. A mean doctor threatened my parents and that meant I didn’t get help till I was 42.

I feel furry to be a nice hobby. Every hobby has good and bad in it.Plus many in the fandom do charity work and such.

Video of some furs doing charity work at a hospital and giving a donation in a giant check to a hospital.

youtube.com/watch?v=mpWEYd4J67I

They raised $1600.01 for Women and Children’s Hospital of Buffalo, NY. Wow.

They should allow him to be in the interest he is in.

Do you think your brother is using this interest as a form of escapism?

There’s nothing wrong with dressing up -eg: people dress up for parties,Halloween or even sometimes jobs like if they are a footy mascot etc but if the dressing up as a “furby” becomes like an identity,or an obsession,or to escape the realities of growing up or to remain childlike in an attempt to avoid the difficulties they face with social interaction-that’s when it is unbalanced and unhealthy.

Do you know whether your brother have any friends outside of this interest and whether his Depression is from internal factors or whether rather it is external and due to things in his life?

**This thread is from 2015. **

Thanks Irishmom2:blush:

I can’t speak to the furries because I do NOT really know anything about them. You sound like a GREAT sibling. Rather than pushing him to stay away from them it MIGHT be better to try to re-direct him to other interests. Maybe get him interested in basketball, soccer, hockey, art groups in the neighborhood. Does your church have a young adult group the two of you can get involved in? Would you feel comfortable speaking to your parish priest/youth minister for ideas in your neighborhood? Keeping you both in prayer!

How come no one is supporting him being into the furry thing. I know on a cosplay board i’m on,people are like,if someone is into the furry thing,then they should be allowed to be in the furry thing and shouldn’t have their interest redirected.

For the most part i think is because people have the wrong idea about the fandom. There are people who have done their research that found furry is just a innocent interest.

therecord.com/news-story/7002183-the-facts-on-furries-waterloo-researcher-promotes-understanding-of-costume-play-community/

vice.com/en_ca/article/its-not-a-fetish-an-interview-with-one-of-the-worlds-leading-furry-researchers

Also a post from someone on reddit who originally had the wrong idea

Hello to everyone who is on this sub. My name is Save7Wave. I’m here to do one simple thing that I need to do for closure and to make peace with myself and everyone I may have ran into during my past.
First off, from the years 2012 to mid-2015, I hated everything about furries. To clarify, I didn’t do any research myself and basically went off word of mouth (which 99% of the time isn’t accurate). I had a long anti-furry career (for lack of a better word) on the mobile app “Ifunny”.
If anyone remembers the account “DXvsFurries”, that was me. I made poorly put together comics that pitted my favorite wrestlers against whatever fursuiter picture I used that day (please understand that I was a young one) It was a long time ago so I doubt anyone remembers, and hopefully they don’t.
I’ve been trying to apologize to every person in this community that I can. I decided to post this here becuase almost 30,000 people are going to see it as opposed to like, 3. I don’t know what came over me, but it was around the start of 2016 where I just looked at what I was doing.
I was endlessly mocking a group of people who I didn’t even look into to get their true motive. I did some real research. That was when It hit me. Never in my entire life have I ever felt so bad about something I had done.
I couldn’t believe how far off the target I got everything. I can’t explain how bad I feel for mislabeling all of you. I watched in awe that furries can manage to be so amazing and funny. And how much fun they can have, and be such a strong and loving community. I’m sorry, and I know that it’s all in the past and I can’t fully fix it. It’s kinda funny how it all turned around seeing as how I more or less have become one myself.
And also that my subscriptions on YouTube now include Majira Strawberry, Vix n dwnq, Pocari Roo, Telephone, Booker Fox, Aberguine, Biogodz1, Kale the Deer, Gale Frostbane, and many others. I hope all of you can understand where I’m coming from. All I need is for my voice to be heard, and posting this I can now do that. I’ve been apologizing up and down for a while now, and hopefully this is where it can finally end. I’m sorry to all of you. Thanks for reading, and goodbye.

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