Brother won't let children stay alone a Protestant Grandparents house

I was thinking that the priest could maybe clear up some of the brother’s delusions, if it’s even possible. Christians shouldn’t have any problem letting someone bless their house.
And then they could watch the grandkids, which they’d like to do.


Does he allow his children to eat the food prepared in that unblessed house? Does he allow his wife and children to be driven to appointments in a (presumably) unblessed vehicle?



Someone else asked if your brother’s wife goes along with all of this…

I’m wondering, too, but I also wonder if he’s misusing the idea of ‘wifely submission’. I’m wondering how they got together…what she believes. Did he get her to fall in love with him, then started to control her? ( Note: I realize these questions may be too personal to answer here, but just think about them),

In the worst case, your brother may be trying to ‘force’ a conversion on your parents. Does their babysitting help him or his wife out, financially? He may be, consciously or not, planning to remove his family from the extended family, once he is able to provide for them, without outside help.

I know how I must sound, but how do you think most cults begin, and continue to thrive? One of their most powerful tools is the threat to break up families!

OK, back to the real world…following his way of thinking, why should he have consented to live in a house, and accept a rent decrease (finance, again) from people he won’t let his children visit without him? Getting back to his wife, you say he ‘makes’ her wear very conservative clothing styles…how did she dress before their marriage?

I’m seeing a potentially very controlling situation. A good priest would not accept members who were coerced into converting…but then, no priest is perfect, and many are overworked.

And, no. Catholics do not want people who were coerced, joining their church! In short, I don’t think he will stop at a house blessing!

Please, don’t let your brother end up controlling your family. I’m praying that this will work out. And God Bless all of you!


SSPX communities are rare, so maybe your brother is involved in one and reading their stuff on the internet, but doesn’t have access to an actual chapel where you live, so is going to the FSSP instead? Both groups prefer the traditional Latin Mass, but they have very different reasoning about it. The other posters are correct. None of these strange things are promoted by the teachings of the Catholic Church, and in my opinion, not spiritually healthy.

This would be my guess as well. This seems like someone who’s involved in one of the schismatic online communities.


1 Like

. . . I recommend this… Go to his parish and make an appointment with the priest. Present your questions and concerns. Then, see if the three of you can meet together and get to the bottom of this. We are eager to help, but clearly more info is needed.

1 Like

Your assumption regarding those of us who are wondering whether he attends an SSPX chapel is not grasping at straws nor are we “eagerly insinuating outlandish stereotypes” - in fact, it appears from what you wrote that you are doing the insinuating of our motives behind what we say and that we are being derogative concerning tradition-minded parishes.

. . . . I am personally aware of one SSPX community who forbid the women to wear trousers/pants, or to not wear veils etc.

In charity I think your slur against other posters should be retracted.

3 other posters in addition to myself have also wondered about involvement with SSPX, yet you singled me out for a reply, followed by your uncharitable assumptions.

1 Like

I said “some members,” and the reply was to the OP. No I did not single you out… not sure why the code tagged you specifically.

Correction… my first post was(the quote), sure… seems like a fair question about your motives in presenting such a question, at it does seem TO ME a bit loaded. Sorry I couldn’t find a “raised eyebrow” emoji.Why would it come to mind that SSPX could be related to such seemingly severe practices, as tiny as it is? Not that we are in a position to evaluate the OP brother’s reasoning.

1 Like

Your accusation that I was being uncharitable gave me pause. I took another examination of the thread and, I stand by my sentiment. Yes, stereotypes are being insinuated and yes straws are being grasped at, with all the speculation. I can understand that it may not have been your aim. Nonetheless, that is what your reply seems to do, in my opinion. It is somewhat obvious that you were pinning your initial question on your limited experience with SSPX. Finally, your opening statement regarding FSSP seems baseless and without point, especially since your experience with it seems to be even lesser. What exactly does it explain?

1 Like

Do you attend a SSPX chapel and therefore have first hand knowledge of the expectations expected of the community there?

You are entitled to your opinion, as am I.

Reasoning and ruling out possibilities leaves only probabilities. No Ordinary Form Mass parish expects the ladies of their communities to dress as though attending 18th C funerals, nor shun sports for their children. Neither do any TLM communities I am familiar with.

Considering other posters were wondering the same thing as I ie SSPX or reading inaccurate online material etc as I’ve and others have said - I think is a fair probability. A google search will result in various writings that are not the current teachings of the church but the expectations of those from some SSPX and/or seds. I think it is more likely to be a SSPX chapel than seds, but that is my opinion.

My comment regarding the FSSP was directly in response to throwaway4343 statement that the parish is indeed a FSSP. Whilst I only have personal experience of one FSSP confessor, there wasn’t any expectations as per womens dressing/sports. In fact the parish which I thought may be the one he was attending, stated on their website in a newsletter I think, that one of their Fathers would be leading Sunday afternoon sports.

Even 1ke commented that the FSSP are in communion with Rome, but none of what the OP related is a teaching of the Church.

I wondered if it was a SSPX chapel before it was revealed it was a FSSP parish.

Surely you agree that expecting his wife to dress as per coming from an 18C funeral and adamantly refusing to allow his children to play sports is a little extreme?


I don’t know anything about his expectations, as he isn’t here to present or defend them. It is not my place to make assumptions or speculate about sources of his reasoning. Based on the OP’s understanding of said expectations, I simply advised a more productive evaluation with his priest, with his involvement.

1 Like

I actually agree with this. From the tone of the OP’'s post, it sounds like he has legitimate concern for how his brother’s demeanor seems to have changed after his conversion, and that IS concerning. However, I highly doubt that either the OP or his brother have researched 18th century funeral attire. I further doubt that the OP has found someone to recreate a wardrobe for his wife in that style. I’m sure this is an exaggeration and that what the OP means is that his SIL dresses very pruddishly. We don’t really know what he means by that. We’re probably envisioning a black prairie gown, but it could be anything from there to refusing to wear a tube top at the dinner table. And the discussion of not allowing his kids in sports could have been more like, “We’ve decided not to sign Joey up for the soccer league because the games are played on Sunday and it’s important for us to go to this specific Mass time because it’s TLM.” Suddenly, that conversation doesn’t sound nearly as “wackadoodle”. I think that discussing the OPs concern with the priest is excellent advise, given we know this is a parish in communion with the Church. The priest should be able to determine if the OPs BIL has normal pious priorities or unhealthy scrupulosity.


But…his older Child is only about a year old. The younger one isn’t even born yet (or, wasn’t when this thread was started.)

Something unusual is going on…

I do agree that they should speak to the brother’s priest. Unless the brother likes making things difficult for himself, and his family. Which is a different story, altogether!

I hear you. Change the conversation to indicate the future. I happily admit, I have no intention of putting my children in organized sports. My reason is, I don’t feel like that’s something I’d like to do. Maybe the OPs brother thinks they are a waste of time and resources? Maybe he worries that they take time away from more holy pursuits? Maybe he thinks they take too much time away from family time? None of this is unreasonable. Many parents don’t do the kiddy-sports teams. Simply not wanting to do organized sports, and even justifying it with wanting to do religious stuff instead, is not necessarily nutty. Saying that sports are against the Catholic religion IS nutty. We don’t know where the conversation actually went.

1 Like
DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit