I have finally understood the need for the body and the blood.
I spent most of my life having to be my own doctor and psychologist, which is as stupid as tring to be your own lawyer (“anyone who represents himself in court has a fool for a lawyer”). Being your own doctor/psychiatrist/psychologist gets REALLY dangerous.
I have learned from this not to try to figure out my own plight spiritually, that I need RCIA, first, and the Church
For this I will have to move out of state. It’s a Florida thing. My husband wants me to. But I am worried for my son’s situation. I want for him to come with me and my husband has agreed to settle witgh me as far as the dissolution of this invalid marriage, if I move out of state, and that he will encourage my son to follow me after first going to my parents (with whom I still have deep animosity and enmity and little/no contact by conscious design.)
Obviously it disturbs me to think of his going there and I am afraid my spouse may be playing tricks with me, 1, may change it all around again, 2, and, 3, may dupe my son into returning to the situation here in Florida that I came back here to rescue him from, it’s a long story. Also, the situation would be still worse, I have been working so hard to improve things for him, but he is in some trouble.
My husband agreed to repeating his senior year, which was a wash-out, at a private school back up North, residing with me, but I think he literally had his fingers crossed behind his back.
I am praying the Memorare to St. Joseph both for me son, because he needs help, and for my husband, because I think he has lost his mind. Local public Catholic radio reminded me that while I am a mother, I am also a child of God.
Need RCIA. Matter of life and death.
Please pray for us in this conflicted situation.
Finding much consolation in finding out more about St. Maximillian Kolbe, whose ??patronage ?? I don’t know how to say it, what he’s the patron saint of, touches my situation in so many of its facets.