[quote="Trelow, post:1, topic:260403"]
First off I'm not sure if this goes here, has more to do with my vocation than anything else I suppose.
I'm a 32 year old divorced father of four. The divorce wasn't my choice really, but well, stuff happens. What. Do. I. Do? I wouldn't have gotten married if I wanted to spend my life as a eunuch. It's not only the physical relationship, which I miss greatly, it's the connection to someone else. The loneliness is suffocating.
I don't know what my question is really. I'm just struggling with this greatly. Even if I did complete my annulment paperwork and a decree of nullity was issued, between taking care of my kids 4 days a week, teaching PSR, and time with the Knights, I don't really have the time for anyone else, let alone the money after having my meager paycheck halved.
I know I just need to suck it up and deal with it, but the weight is crushing me. I'm an intelligent, funny, good looking, faithful guy, and I spend nearly every moment either alone or with my kids. I didn't sign up for this.
You are about the fifth man whose post I've read on this subject in the last two weeks. And I can add about five other guys who are experiencing the same situation in my own life. There seems to be many men who are hurting out there because their wives are emotionally distant,abusive, thinking about divorce, or divorced Just my observation.
I don't know how long you have been divorced. Stats say it takes a man a year after the date of the final divorce to get his balance. A woman takes six months. So take your time.
A woman friend was divorced twice. First husband abandoned her with two kids, second, abusive, left her with another child. She lost a lot of money on that divorce but settled in with the kids in a modest apartment. She told me that was the happiest time of her 34 years. At 36, she met a man who wanted to marry her. She did not rush into it because she was happy. Took her a couple of years to consider and she eventually did marry him.
Another woman divorced her alcholoic and abusive husband who died two years later. She did meet a divorced man but would not marry him until her kids were into college. She knew his values were not the same as hers and she felt she wanted to raise the kids her way.
If you are short of funds now, look into the laws regarding child support if and when you remarry. One widowed friend with four kids married a divorced man paying child support. His income was seen as available to her children although he had not adopted them. Consequently, her children could not get college loans. His children could because his child support was not shown as the mother's income. It was not a pleasant situation.
Yes, you are right. Your money situation is not good but it will get better. I would take this time to really get your career going. Concentrate on that, and the kids, your family and friends. When the time is right you will hopefully meet the right lady and you will be prepared. Pray to God to give you strength. He will.