But I don't want to be a priest


#1

My spiritual director is unavailable until later this week. I love my God and His Church. Sometimes I feel a strong pull to be a priest. But I suffer from many emotional problems. There is a kind of peace I do feel at the thought of offering the Mass but have I confused this with zeal? I am seeing a wonderful woman (also Catholic) who I love very much. As of late we have been discussing the possibility of marriage. I want her as my bride. She is very patient and sweet. She is so good to me. I pray God’s will be done of course, but what I want is to marry her so we can have a family and help get each other to Heaven. Yet, I experience coincidences that make me worry I’ll have to give her up. Example: I met my friend at the mall the other day. As we hung out I felt a deep yearning to pray. Just a potent desire to leave and be in God’s presence. Maybe I’m supposed to be a priest, I thought. Not half an hour later my friend asked me if my girlfriend and I had kept our chastity. I told him yes. He responded. “Impressive. Maybe you should be wearing a collar.” I admit there is something peaceful about being a priest, but I want my darling girlfriend to be my wife. I will discuss this with my spiritual director when he is back but this has me rather upset. Does this sound like a priestly vocation? I will do whatever God wants, but I pray priesthood isn’t it.


#2

It is an honor to be called to the priesthood, yet both are good.


#3

Maybe you are called to be holy in the world as a lay person.

We are not fulfilling our roles as lay people when we are EMHCs, lectors etc, we fulfill them when we witness and live holy lives IN the world.


#4

[quote="triumphguy, post:3, topic:335204"]
Maybe you are called to be holy in the world as a lay person.

We are not fulfilling our roles as lay people when we are EMHCs, lectors etc, we fulfill them when we witness and live holy lives IN the world.

[/quote]

Excellent advice.

I think many of us have wondered if the calling we felt was toward the priesthood or religious life. My advice to you is to not worry about this. Just allow your heart to be open to the priesthood. If it is supposed to happen, that will become quite clear to you. But living a life outside of the priesthood does not prevent one from feeling the sudden yearning to pray, or negate the joy of sitting in adoration, nor does it diminish the desire to be chaste, pure and holy. The examples you have provided sound as though you are a good person who is Christ-minded. Nothing about what you have mentioned is exclusive to the priesthood.

Pray pray pray pray pray. And my prayers are with your discernment, also. God love you.:)


#5

Marriage is also a vocation. There are many ways you can help the church as a married lay man. You should discuss this with your Spiritual Advisor.


#6

Funny. Reading everything you've said suggests to me that marriage is more likely your vocation. You can pray as a layperson, and your friend's comment represents a disenchanted view of people as a whole. It's a bit of a slippery slope, but should all people who refrain from per-marital intercourse be religious? It seems like an odd comment to me.:shrug:


#7

I know a man about 20 yrs old that was in the same situation as you. He felt the calling to be a priest even applied for seminary but then backed out of it because he found this great girl. The "girl of his dreams" came to him but he still felt something for the priesthood. He wanted to be with this girl but Someone pulled him elsewhere. He continued to pray for his calling. He reapplied for seminary and didn't back out the second time. He's been in the seminary for two years now with no regrets. So pray pray pray. God will call you to your vocation. If you listen to His will you'll be happy.

God bless

Priez pour pape Francois


#8

I was watching this movie called "The Nun" and something she said was simple and yet decisive. She said that she did consider being married, having kids, etc, but that the other feeling of being a cloistered nun was a lot stronger and so she became a carmelite nun. I am sure you will be discerning these emotions with guidance from your spiritual advisor and then you can find the louder voice in your heart :thumbsup:


#9

If you have qualms about becoming a priest, then it's best to stay away from the priesthood. I understand your conflict, but if you give up this woman, it may come back to bite you, and that in turn can seriously interfere with priesthood.

I will freely admit that that's why I won't be a priest either. The desire for a wife and family is the most important thing to me. If I were to be a priest, I'd have to give up that dream, and that I am unwilling to do.


#10

[quote="freiabereinsam, post:9, topic:335204"]
If you have qualms about becoming a priest, then it's best to stay away from the priesthood. I understand your conflict, but if you give up this woman, it may come back to bite you, and that in turn can seriously interfere with priesthood.

I will freely admit that that's why I won't be a priest either. The desire for a wife and family is the most important thing to me. If I were to be a priest, I'd have to give up that dream, and that I am unwilling to do.

[/quote]

Many men and women throughout the history of the Church gave up everything they dreamed of, including St. Peter who left his wife (apparently had a mother-in-law) and followed Jesus all the way to his own cross, just like all the other Apostles (except John), many, many saints and living men of today. They all did it because they weren't called to be married, but to serve God in a different way than that, no matter how it hurt at first. Maybe you're not called to the priesthood but if you are, the topic will restlessly come back to you until you give up of that dream.

God knows better what will make you happy better than you do. Don't be emotionalist, there's more about you than you know yourself. Let the Big Guy show you what it is! :thumbsup:


#11

First I will say that I am not trying to oofend anyone on here at all. All Im am trying to do is share my expereinces in this matter. I too have faced the deep struggle thinking God wants me to be a priest. I have spoken to many preist and vocation directors. I have also read some books on dicernment. All with the answer of no that is not God. In my experience it has been mostly a very negative one. I have read on here most people seem to think that a person with a love for God and the thought of priestood means God is calling you. But what most people dont understand is that its more than just a thought. Its about the overal expereince that takes place within the heart and soul that is a true sign of wether it is God or the enemy. Also I have read were people just say things like give up your dream for God and seem to promote a person just giving everything up like it some easy task to just ignore what goes on inside of you. Its not trust me. I would love to hear from anyone who has done this on this website. Anyone at all ever had to face something like what the person on here has faced? I dont say that aggresivly or sarcasticly. Im genuily interested in hearing someone who has had this happen to them and they were able to cast off their hopes and dreams in order to live a celibate life because its what God wants. In fact the bottom line is one of the reasons it makes it extremely diffucult to do is the fact that you know that if thats what God wants then you have to live celibate. This creates alot of fear and inner turmoil so in my opinion if the church would lean up on that old law it would be much easier for a person to discern wether or not they are being called to a priestly vocation.


#12

Follow your heart… marriage is a very honorable vocation, as is a priest too. What is the right one, that is the million dollar question.

Is you are happy with this woman and she completes you, then maybe the two of you are each others gift from God? Nothing says that as a layperson you can’t just stop and pray. I do it all the time and I have been happily married for almost 23 years.

If you get married and still feel a calling to something more there are many ways you can get active in the church… many have been mentioned here. If after a few years of marriage and you meet all the other criteria, you could also discern if maybe God was calling you to Holy Orders, but as a permanent deacon. You may find that might be where God is calling you… a good Christian marriage is a powerful witness to Gods love, so please do not feel you are worth less (not worthless mind you) if you do not become a priest.

May God bless you and I hope you find the answer you are looking for.

YBIC - John


#13

What you said is what we should expect from every good Catholic male with a calling to marriage.

You might be called to be a deacon.


#14

Had the same thoughts while reading. Prayer and chastity aren’t just for priests!

But definitely talk to your spiritual director. He knows your situation better than we do.


#15

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