Call to be a Deacon?


In my dioceses, the only portion which mandated that the wives attend was the 12 week discernment period.

The training period, it was optional for wives to attend, except some of the Sunday afternoon seminar and retreats.



But generally, if one’s wife is adamantly opposed, it can pose an impediment to ordination.


If one’s wife is opposed, they will not allow the husband to enter into the diaconate program

Wives are interviewed separately from the husbands, so that the director of the diaconate can know for sure that the wives support their husbands becoming deacons, and that they will be there to support him in his ministry.



What interesting is that my wife goes together with me to confession and attends mass and receives the Eucharist. Deep in her heart I feel she knows the CC is right. She even takes my Catechism of the CC book and reads it at night when I sleep now.


That’s about the same everywhere in the Catholic Church.

Important data for OP and others in similar situation.

In many protestant churches, it doesn’t take long to become a deacon. Getting people involved is a high priority in a lot of voluntary organization, persuading them to accept responsibilities is a strategy and the office of “deacon” is one way.


Your wife is not Catholic but receiving the Eucharists is problematic and probably grounds for rejecting you into the diaconate.

I believe the wife must be a Catholic for a husband to be accepted into the diaconate program.



. . . .and you would probably be surprised how that works. My wife and I are part of the team that does the initial wife interview with prospective candidate wives. Often goes something like this:

“How do you feel about your husband’s potential ordination as a deacon?”

“Oh, I hate the idea.”

"Does he know you feel this way?

“Goodness no, I could never tell him.”

“Haven’t you talked about it with him?”

“Sure, but he can never know I am the reason he was not accepted.”

"So you have spoken but never shared your true feelings?


My wife to me as an aside: “the diaconate is not the vocation this couple needs to be worried about.”


She was born and raised Catholic just as I. Baptized and did her 1st Communion.


You need to instruct your wife to stop receiving the Eucharist at the Catholic Mass unless and until she comes into full communion with the OHCA Church. This is a great sacrliege.


And were you married in the Catholic Church? That’s also going to be important.


Respect and obedience to the teachings of the Catholic Church is mandatory for the wife of a deacon.



. . .and Attending confession regularly so . . . . disregard my last post. Eucharist is fine.


What do you mean. She went to confession so she could take the Eucharist. Is this not enough?


Has she received Confirmation ?



It’s confusing because in your op you said your wife was evangelical.


If you’re both in full union with the Church, then the only thing left is to contact the dioceses office for the Diaconate, and apply.

The interview and discernment process will help you to know if you are being called.

It may be God merely wants you to go through the discernment process as He did for me.

Either way, it’s a win-win experience.



I do know one deacon whose wife was unsupportive, but willing to let him become a deacon. Her attitude was, "this is his vocation, so don’t expect any participation from me.’ She was a lapsed Catholic as well.


Then she would’ve had to have lied to the interviewers.

They won’t take risks with a wife who is not in favor of her wife becoming a deacon.

Wives have to make sacrifices for their husbands when they enter their various ministries.

Sitting in the pew alone at Mass every week and holiday, is a big factor which wives say they had to sacrifice.

In other words, his vocation becomes a hers in being a wife pf a deacon.



That what she tells me. She goes to her Evangelical Church Sunday mornings, then goes with me to mass Sunday evenings. It confuses me too. Please pray for her.


Neither of us have and still need the Priest blessing for marriage. Married 13 years ago by the US Courts.

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