Called to pray for a Vocation, fearful

I feel that God is calling me to pray for a vocation during this Lent.

I’m very fearful of doing that because I’m worried that God will call me a vocation of lifelong singleness.

I want the vocation of marriage on top of whatever else God would have me to do.

I would do anything at all that God asks of me except for I absolutely do want to be married and absolutely do NOT want to remain single.

I know I’m not called to the priesthood because I am disqualified to become a priest.

Anyway, I ask that anyone who reads this would please petition to God on my behalf that my vocation is marriage.


If I’m called to something other than getting married, I am going to be so thoroughly disappointed and heartbroken on so many different levels. Please pray for me. I’ve endured the black hell of singleness for far too long as it is. Please, absolutely do not stop praying that God gives me the vocation of marriage. Please.

I will pray for you, and I pray that you find God’s peace during this period of waiting. Once you find peace, I think you will find all kinds of other blessings.:thumbsup:

I will not pray that you are called to marriage.

I pray that you will accept whatever it is you are called to, including the priesthood. If God wants you to be a priest for his church, I would consider that a very high honor. Sometimes we have to throw out our own desires and allow his will to move us. I pray you’ll accept his power in your life :signofcross:

God bless, brother

As others have said I will pray that you can be open to God’s will in your life. I would STRONGLY suggest talking to a priest about this. There should never be fear surrounding something in your life, fear is not of God. I’m not saying you are called to priesthood, but pray about the fear you are having and ask God to remove it.

again get a spiritual director preferably a priest.


Usually when God calls someone to a certain vocation. He gives him/her a desire for that life. You have nothing to fear. Praying for you.

I’ve decided to go ahead and focus my efforts on getting married and wait until after I’m married to pray for a vocation. Better safe than sorry.

That’s because you only care about yourself and no one else.

I pray that you will accept whatever it is you are called to, including the priesthood.

Sure is easy to sacrifice a life that isn’t yours, isn’t it. BTW, I CAN’T become a priest. I am disqualified. I already stated that in the OP. Regardless, I wouldn’t do it anyway.

I wouldn’t ever become a priest under any circumstances anyway because that permanently closes the door on ever getting married.

If God wants you to be a priest for his church, I would consider that a very high honor.

Then YOU go become a priest. I consider it a horrible and extremely cruel curse.

I’m disqualified from being a priest. I stated that in the OP. Some of you people are ridiculous. You are so ready and willing to sacrifice anyone and everyone to the priesthood, even those that are disqualified from it. You’re so quick and willing to sacrifice me to the priesthood, even though I CAN’T become a priest.

Anyway, I’ve decided to focus my efforts on getting married first and further seeking a vocation after I’m married.

When I read evil and selfish posts like this, I wonder why I ever left the synagogues for the Church. The Jews won’t convert to Christianity because they view the crucifix as a symbol of Christian willingness to sacrifice each other. Your post here is examplary of that.

My life isn’t yours to sacrifice. And I’m not laying my life down for you.

One way or another, I’m getting married. I’ll further seek a vocation after that.

I’ll simply say this bring all of these things to God.

bring your desire to marriage to God
bring the fears you have about being call to be a priest to God.
bring everything to God and put it at his feet.

what should be primary for all of us is that we put God’s will in front of our own will. We must be willing to sacrifice everything in oder to follow God.

God Bless.

**I’m bolding this and saying it with big texts so that hopefully no one will miss it this time.






Then use this Lenten season to pray that God will find you a suitable spouse, if pleasing to the Lord.

Thank you. I will.

After reading this article and reflecting on it, I realize that I have some amount of freedom to choose my vocation and that the best thing for me is, in fact marriage…

Earlier this year, I thought that Jesus was calling me to lifelong singleness and so I tried to resolve myself to this life. Each day, I felt increasingly negative about Jesus and the Christian life. I finally reached a point, about a couple of weeks ago, to where I was literally desperate to escape this.

I’ve kept running scenarios over in my head where the priest, for whatever reason, announces during a homily or at some other function, that God has in fact called me to life long singleness and there’s nothing I can do about it. I kept thinking that if this happens, I would go back to the synagogues to wait for someone else to come and be the messiah.

I know that Jesus is the Messiah and so I wouldn’t really do that. I would strongly consider it but in the end, I would stay with the Church, not out of love but only out of fear of winding up in Hell.

I have been a smoker off and on for quite a while and despite my best efforts to stop smoking, the more I fear being single, the more I chain smoke.

I made a decision on Saturday of last week (2/22/2014) that I absolutely did not want to remain single but wanted to get married. Since then, my mom has commented that I seem to be getting my life together more and more. I stopped smoking on Ash Wednesday and this time, I am done with it.

So long as I believe that God is preparing me for marriage, I find peace and joy and motivation to get my life ordered.

Also, I am going to start working out again and get my body really in shape.

So long as I entertain the idea that Jesus is calling me to life long singleness, I feel nothing but disappointment, frustration, resentment and fear and I struggle constantly to not have a wholly negative attitude toward him.

I grew up being told for years by the people that attended and were on staff at the protestant congregation I attended as a child that Jesus was keeping me single for his own purposes and there was nothing I could do about it. I spent entire years during my teens deeply and morbidly depressed over this. I wished that I had never been born and the fear of Hell was often the only thing that kept me from killing myself.

When I was attending synagogue, every Jew there wanted me to get married and taught that God wanted me married and I was at peace with that.

Since I’ve come into the Church, a lot of my childhood ideas about Jesus have resurfaced and I find a complete absence of peace in the idea that Jesus wants me single. Also, it is sometimes suggested to me that I should become a priest or join some other religious order and my feelings toward this are always, without exception, wholly and exceedingly negative.

The single life isn’t right for me. It never was and the thought that I am stuck being single for my whole life leads me not to peace or Godly living but to despair, depression and very self destructive behavior.

I’ve been told my entire life that God is love and that Jesus is my best friend. If there is one thing that I know for sure, love doesn’t want me single and my best friend isn’t calling me to a life of singleness but instead will do whatever he can to help me bring this state to an end.

Instead of constantly hating and resenting Jesus out of fear that he has cruelly and heartlessly imposed an utterly horrible life of singleness on me, I’m going to instead start believing in his goodness and the I will soon marry. Instead of fighting tooth and nail against him (and basically getting in his way and continuing to stay single as a result), I’m going to try my best to cooperate with him and help me become the person I need to be in order to be a good husband.

I’m going to try as best as I can to be forever done even considering that singleness is actually what God wants for me. Because of my past with those protestants, I’m prone to getting very upset at even the mere mention that God would do something so utterly hateful and cruel as to keep me single and I’m going to have to work on that.

I ask whoever reads this to pray that I keep faith in God and know in my heart that He does not want me single.

Thank you for your prayers.

(One final note. To all of you that are still trying to see me off to the priesthood or some other lifelong single religious vocation, in my confusion, I’ve already tried to enter an order. The vocations directer in my diocese won’t have it. He’s refused my every attempt to go into the religious life. He’s even told me that I am barred for life from ever being a priest and that I am definitely not called to that. He hasn’t stated so but I believe that his refusal to admit me into a life as a religious is because he recognizes that I definitely do not want this but instead, only tried because I felt like I was being forced into it. His answer is to close the doors on that).

these all sound like great things and I would say it seems clear from what you are saying that you are called to be married to a spouse.

The posters who you are calling out are simply trying to help you see that what is important is remaining open to the will of God.

Our desires, wants, needs, passions, etc. don’t matter in this life all that matters is doing God’s will. Now God doesn’t call you to something that goes against your own desires, understanding your desire helps you to better discern your vocation in life.

If you have a strong desire for marriage no desire for the single life than I would say that you are probably called to marriage.

But I would lastly say this, if there is a fear that is surrounding your discernment, that fear needs to be resolved. Fear is only destructive in our lives, so bring the fear out into the light and seek to purify that fear, so that when God willing, you are married there will be nothing that holds you back from giving yourself completely to your wife and God willing your kids.

I would also say this if when you think about marriage there seems to be only peace and joy, and when you think about priesthood there usually is only fear, then my guess is that you are called to marriage. But again all that matters is that we do God’s will for our life.

note: due to the length of the post I had to cut our much of what you said. This response was to the comment as a whole.

Thank you for your words.

I have no fear of God calling me to anything other than being single. If God says to go to China or Africa or wherever and be a missionary, I’m there. If God tells me to sell all I have and give it to the poor, I’m there. I don’t fear any of that. I can live as rough as anybody.

Any sacrifice I have to make, I in fact enjoy the opportunity.

The only thing I fear is that God is going to keep me single for the rest of my life.

Even when I try to resolve myself to this fate, I still find myself much at odds with God and the longer I try to be resolved to being single, the worse my attitude about God and life and everything gets.

I can’t even handle the idea of staying single without my entire life falling to pieces. I stop paying off my debts, stop managing my money well, stop eating healthy, stop working out, I start smoking tobacco and pot, start drinking, stop brushing my teeth, my hygiene stops, etc. The longer the idea sticks in my head, the further into disarray that my life falls.

And I’m not able to be thankful to God for anything.

Instead of wanting to be a missionary so that I can spread the gospel to the locals, I want to go somewhere where it’s illegal and punishable by death so that I won’t be stuck living this way for much longer. As a single, I’m perfectly willing to be martyred, not for the cause but to escape the prison of singleness.

Considering the horrible effects that being single has had on me and the total devastation that the mentality of believing that I’m stuck being single has had on my life, this can’t be from God. Writing this, I’m realizing that more and more.

And that’s also the reason I have a tendency to think of people that suggest the priesthood or another life that would keep me single for whatever reason as being evil. I realize that the people who responded in this thread aren’t really evil but were just trying to encourage me to seek God’s Will. But the suggestion that I remain single is thoroughly evil, regardless of the source.

Any time I hear something about someone called to a life of singleness, I have a tendency to think that God is telling me that I’m called to that and it immediately triggers deep hostilities and anger in me and I realize now it’s from the devil, not God.

I know what I’m to do. I’m to prepare for marriage and to thank God each and every day that it’s eventually going to happen (and hopefully very soon). I’m also to ignore all suggestions that I’m going to remain single much longer.

And I’m to pray continually for my wife, for her protection, that she remains well fed and safe, etc.

Jeremyah, if you are unable to become a priest or a brother, then God is not calling you to become a priest or a brother. He does not expect the impossible of us. If we have an impediment through no fault of our own, then we do not have the vocation. It’s quite simple. Be at peace with that.

At the same time, though, understand that it is only in His will that we actually do find our peace. Remember St Augustine’s famous statement: Fecisti nos ad te et inquietum est cor nostrum donec requiescat in te. Thou hast made us for Thyself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee. Not in a spouse. Not in a career. Not in a cloister. Not in Sacred Orders. Only in the Sacred Heart of Christ. Trust Him, for He loves you beyond any possible measure, and seek to know Him a little more daily through prayer and through spiritual reading.

If you don’t have a spiritual director currently, I would strongly advise that you find one. God bless you.

To clarify, Jeremyah, I’m not trying to “sacrifice” you or force you into the priesthood. I would never do that. I was just trying to make the point that you should be open to anything God has planned for you… What if he wants you to be a single missionary in Africa? What if he is calling you to be single and give everything to the poor? My point is, to try to accept his will into your life. You really have no control over it, and trying to force things to happen your way often has bad consequences down the road.

Either way I’ll be praying for you. God bless :slight_smile:

I’m not open to life long singleness and saying that I am just an outright, bold-faced lie. In trying to be open to that, all I’ve ever succeeded in doing was to self destruct over and over again. While I was a teenager, I thought that God was forcing that on me and I literally spent entire years of my life then deeply and morbidly depressed.

Even thought I was an atheist during most of my 20’s and 30’s, the effects of having been taught that in my teens would continually resurface and I would lapse into long periods of deep depression, drug and alcohol abuse and over all self destruction.

When I was practicing Judaism, for the first time in my life I got to know God and that He didn’t want me to remain single but wanted me to marry and for the first time in my life, I found freedom from my very most hated demon.

I have come into Catholicism and since then my old childhood fears and feelings toward Jesus have resurfaced. I’ve reached the point that I’ve got to stop thinking that Jesus wants me single. This belief has caused me nothing but heartache, pain and grief.

… What if he wants you to be a single missionary in Africa?

Then my number one priority in Africa is getting killed. Dying as a martyr.

My point is, to try to accept his will into your life. You really have no control over it, and trying to force things to happen your way often has bad consequences down the road.

Trying to live single or resigned to a single life has wrought nothing but destruction in my life on all levels; psychologically, physically, emotionally, spiritually.

I find even the suggestion that God wants me to be single to be entirely evil. I know that it was not God but the devil in blackest hell that inspired to write such demonic trash as suggesting that maybe God wanted me single. I notice that you didn’t capitalize ‘he.’ It’s because the ‘he’ that you speak of is not God but the devil. It’s the devil in Hell that wants me single.

Either way I’ll be praying for you. God bless :slight_smile:

You pray that God will guide me to the person that I’m to marry and to prepare me to be a good husband for that woman. Anything else is from the devil in hell.

From what Jeremyah wrote, NextElement, it does not appear the God wants him to be single. Please pray that God will find him a suitable spouse, if pleasing to His Majesty the King and our God. (If you add what I wrote after the comma, this should not be disturbing to anyone seeking to pray.)

To angelic06, bardegaulois, catholictiger and everyone else that has encouraged me to seek God’s direction in getting married, thank you ever so much.

I grew up having the idea that Jesus wanted me single my whole life drilled into my head and this has been source of constant pain, frustration and depression my whole life and caused all kinds of problems in my relationship with Jesus.

I’m now in the process of trying to readjust my thinking and my life accordingly and I need all the encouragement I can get. Thank you for giving it.

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