Calling all alcoholics

After 8 plus years of sobriety I had a relapse and it was really bad. Two years into the relapse my oldest son was born and I knew I had to do something about my drinking. But my pride kept me from reaching out for help. I tried to control my drinking, I would go through weeks, even months without drinking, I thought I was in control of it, but would find excusses to binge for many different reasons. during the last six years of my drinking I “controlled” it by only drinking late at night to go to sleep, that was really a joke. Though I went to work everyday and even become an award winning volunteer, attended church, my whole focus was to the end of the day when I could let my guard down and drink myself to sleep. I was verbally abusive to my wife and my children. I lost controll of my finances and was very good at hiding my true self. Every morning I woke up hung over, I started my day off with talking something for my headaches and upset stomach, to the outside world I functioned and everything seemed OK. But becuase of my pride and refusing to let people know the real me I put my wife and children through a hellish nightmare. I was only able to stop and change when I finally ask God to help me and reached out those in my life He sent to me. I had to humble myself and ask others for help. My pride allowed my relapse to last almost 13 years. By having a spiritual program which I found by getting rid of my past garbage, accepting the forgivness of Christ which is found through the sacraments of the Church, doing pennace through the way of amending the wrongs I done to others, having accountabilty with other Christian men, working on program of deeper conversion and prayer, along with service to others, I’m not only sober but joyful that I’m alive. I don’t wallow in my past, but celebrate the victories, big and small in my life and in the life of others.
Healing has been gradual to those I love and hurt the most, but the hope is clearly there. None of the good in life was worth anything until I could admit I was hurting those I loved the most and take the help God offered.
If one is causing hurt to those around them, then something is wrong … If it is drinking, drugging, anger, porn, being verbally abusive, emotionally abusive, physically abusive and they tend to blame others for their bad actions then there is somthing is wrong and until they quit blaming the nagging of their spouses, the stress of their job or what ever else they have no control over, they will hurt and hurt those they love the most.

There is hope, but first I had to humble myself, get on my knees and accept the truth. Sin hurts others but God has a program of healing.

I am a faithful obedient daughter of the Holy Mother Church and attend three AA meetings a week, am sponsoring 15 women, travel all over the country to speak and am in service. I am so very sorry for those who cannot find people like me in the program. I would suggest you go to Dicobe tapes on line and look for talks by Father Tom W., Kenna Mc., Lorna K. and others who are quite open and honest about being Catholic and finding their recovery in the rooms of AA.

Nana, I cannot diagnose your husband. Not drinking for one night or for 30 days does not prove someone is not an alcoholic. In fact, my experience has been that the only people who find it necessary to PROVE to someone they are NOT an alcoholic by NOT DRINKING are people with a drinking problem. My mother, bless her heart, is 85 years old and not an alcoholic. It would never occur to her to have to prove that, but until I got into AA I would periodically try to PROVE what I was NOT by not drinking…sometimes for as long as two or three months.

If your husband thinks we are silly, so be it…we usually are pretty silly on this forum so there is not harm in thinking that of us. What I would say to him is if you really want to prove to me that you are not an alcoholic then REALLY prove it - buy a copy of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and read it…THEN tell me how you are not like the people described in the book.

Relapse does NOT have to be a part of recovery. Anyone who tells you that is just plain wrong. There are thousands upon thousands of member of AA who have 25 plus years of continuous sobriety. My sponsor (who is one year younger than me) just celebrated 31 years of sobriety - she got sober when she was 17 years old!

Working the 12 Steps of AA will lead you to the spiritual awakening that can bring you full circle back to the Church. That is what happened to me. When I tell my story I thank AA for giving me back my Church.

Is AA for everyone? Of course not…can some of the people in AA be real jerks? You betcha…kind of like the Catholic Church…AA is ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS and not WELL PEOPLES ANONYMOUS.

Nana, contact Al-Anon and start your Novena to Matt Talbot.
You are in my prayers.

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"…Who knows us better then we know ourselves, True humility consist in being satisfied with what is given us.
St Teresa of Jesus:blessyou:

Matt Talbot Quote:
“God console thee and make thee a saint. To arrive at the perfection of humility four things are necessary: to despise the world, to despise no one, to despise self, to despise being despised by others.”

I just had a blow out with my husband. I have noticed as I have in the past that his speech gets slurred a little and his motion slow. This is a indication that he is not taking his parkinsons medication as he is suppose to. He gets mad at me, but he needs to be taking it as it is meant to. He said I was criticizing him again. Then I mentioned the alcohol and why he had the beer hidden in his car. I asked him to give up the alcohol and that I didn’t want it in the house. He said that he will not be controlled by me. He was controlled by his mother who was very controlling. I guess he sees his mother in me. He is not going to give up as he said, “something he enjoys.” He said I made him quit cigarettes and that he enjoyed that. I said fine, go back to smoking and leave the alcohol. He said that with the cigarettes he could get cancer and die a slow agonizing death. I said the same could happen with alcohol and the damage it does to the liver and other organs. He got mad and said that he enjoys drinking.

He is not stupid. He knows deep down that he turns to worldly things too much. I found a thread he started here on this forum in which he said he was going for the bottle every night to wash away his problems. Everyone told him to turn to the Rosary or other ways of prayer and reach for that. He does what he always does, if he doesn’t like your advice he ignores it or calls it controlling. I am not stupid and know that all these addictive behavior is his way of running from his life and all he suffered. He doesn’t want to deal with his past hurts. He doesn’t want to see why he is full of anger.

I love my husband, but he has so many bad habits. I realize I am not perfect and have my bad habits, but he is like a kids sometimes. He would go to bed every night without brushing his teeth and after having soda or a popsicle. I would tell him that he is going to get cavities. Well, he had to have much dental work done and it cost us a total of $6,000.00 with insurance help. Once all that was done, do you think he would take care of his teeth, no he doesn’t and still goes to sleep without brushing his teeth. He has addiction to ice cream, sodas and popcorn. He will wake up in the middle of the night and instead of just going back to bed after the restroom, would walk to the kitchen and get a fudge popsicle and eat it. Now he is into fruit popsicles. He use to drink only pepsi and Dr. Pepper and when I saw the a certain brand of orange soda was on sale one time and wanted it, he tried it and it has been in our house in multitudes since. He has cases of sodas in the garage.

I get tired of all these bad habits and addictions. I am afraid to bring anything that I may like in the house because if it turns out that he likes it, he will become an addictive food or drink. I don’t understand why he does this. I know it is a coping skill, and maybe it is time to go back to individual counseling for him. But then he didn’t listen to the counselors either. They noticed that he is very very stubborn and if you correct him in any way, even nicely, it is criticism in his eyes.:rolleyes:

oh, Nana, honey…don’t lose hope. PLEASE look into Al-anon and try to find someone who is really REALLY working that program. Give them a call and tell them that a member of AA suggested you find a 'black-belt Al-Anon to talk to"…use that phrase and it will make them smile and you will be hooked into a strong, loving and whine-free recovery program for YOU…meanwhile, start your prayers to Servant of God Matt Talbot and I will pray also that he intercede on your husband’s behalf for the good of the family.

What LSK said above - she is a wise lady!

Thank you for your prayers. I have looked on the internet for Matt Talbot and found many good sites and can’t find a novena to him. I am not that good on the internet. Do you know of a website that has this novena?

Hi Nana,

I did some searching, and although I didn’t find exactly what you’re looking for, perhaps what I found may be of help:

From this link (circleofprayer.com/matt-talbot.html) :

Short version of the prayer for his [Matt Talbot’s] help:

“May Matt Talbot’s triumph over addiction, brings hope to our community and strength to our hearts, may he intercede for …name… who struggles with his/her addiction, through Christ Our Lord. Amen.”

PRAYER FOR THE ADDICTED

“God of mercy, we bless You in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, who ministered to all who come to Him. Give Your strength to N., Your servant, bound by the chains of addiction. Enfold himlher in Your love and restore himlher to the freedom of God’s children. Lord, look with compassion on all those who have lost their health and freedom. Restore to them the assurance of Your unfailing mercy, and strengthen them in the work of recovery. To those who care for them, grant patient understanding and a love that perseveres. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.”

Here is a website dedicated to Matt Talbot, with stories of favors obtained:

matt-talbot.com/favours.htm

I also found an item on Ebay (disclaimer: I do NOT know the seller, and I cannot vouch for him/her or the quality of the item, but I’m just sharing in case it might be of help). It comes with a prayer sheet:

cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270087980934

“Chaplet of Venerable Matt Talbot. 7/8-inch by 5/8-inch medal dedicated to Matt Talbot, unofficial patron of alcoholics, connected to beading with bow-tie and chain …Three strands of three 5 by 7 millimeter oval Olive Wood beads – no two alike – carved by craftsmen in Bethlehem (The Holy Land) …Crucifixion scene depicted on oxidized medal …All parts assembled by seller …Certificate of Authencity for olive wood included …Prayer sheet included …”

(cont’d next post)

(cont’d from above post) …

Here is a page dedicated to the Venerable Father Alfred Pampalon, who is said to be a Patron of alcoholics and addicts:

repchret.chadcom.org/chapelle/pampalon1.html

NOVENA TO THE VENERABLE FATHER ALFRED PAMPALON

DAY ONE

«Nor do men light a lamp and put it under a bushel, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house» (Mt 5, 15).

Father Alfred Pampalon, intercede for us. May the grace of truth and love always prevail in our lives and in the lives of others. Amen.

Holy Trinity, through the intercession of Father Pampalon, we ask You to help us always to live in Your presence and to conform to Your Holy Will. Amen.

Lord, show us Your presence and Your mercy! Glorify Your servant Alfred by hearing his prayers for us. Amen.

Hail Mary… (3 times).

DAY TWO

«You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect» (Mt 5, 48).

Father Pampalon, intercede for us. Ask for us the grace to always strive to be perfect like our heavenly Father. Amen.

Our Father in heaven, Your love has made Your servant Alfred Pampalon strive for evangelical perfection. Grant that we may always follow in his footsteps. Amen.

Most compassionate Father, may You be touched by the supplications of Your servant. Grant us the special favour… that he is asking for us. Amen.

Hail Mary… (3 times).

DAY THREE

«It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me» (Ga 2, 20).

Father Alfred Pampalon, through Your intercession, obtain that we love Jesus so much that we may be able to say with saint Paul : To live, for me, is Christ! Amen.

Jesus, our Saviour, You have come to light the fire of Your love. With Your servant Alfred, we ask You for the grace of a burning love for You and for souls. Amen.

With him, we also ask for this special favour… Please, glorify Your servant. Hear his ardent prayers. Amen.

Hail Mary… (3 times).

DAY FOUR

«But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you» (Jn 14, 26).

Father Alfred Pampalon, may your prayer obtain for us the grace to always live faithful to the inspirations of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Holy Spirit, You work wonders in transforming the souls of Your faithful; give us the grace to follow Your workings so as to always improve our way of living. Amen.

0 Lord, grant us the special favour that we ask You through the intercession of your servant Alfred.

Hail Mary… (3 times).

DAY FIVE

«When Jesus saw His mother and the disciple whom He loved standing near, He said to His mother: “Woman, behold your son”. Then He said to the disciple: “Behold your mother”» (Jn 19, 26-27).

Father Alfred Pampalon, by your ardent supplications, help us to love and imitate Mary, whom Jesus, before dying, gave us as our mother. Amen.

Holy Trinity, help us always to live like true children of our Immaculate Mother. Give us the grace of a pure heart. Amen.

Lord, listen to the requests of Your servant Alfred and of his friends. All together and with their Mother Mary, they ask You for this special favour… Amen.

Hail Mary… (3 times).

DAY SIX

«Now the company of those who believed were of one heart and soul» (Ac 4, 32).

Father Alfred Pampalon, thanks to your intercession, may we live as a Church, faithful to its teaching and dedicated to its service. Amen.

Lord Jesus, give us an ardent love for our neighbour. Following Father Alfred’s example, may we be of one heart and of one soul with our brethren to sing Your praises and to offer our thanks. Amen.

Father Alfred, come to our help. Obtain for us this favour… that in our misery we are so anxious to obtain from you. Amen.

Hail Mary… (3 times).

DAY SEVEN

«He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day» (Jn 6, 54).

Father Alfred Pampalon, intercede for us. Obtain for us the grace to ardently love Jesus in the Blessed Eucharist. Amen.

Jesus, truly present in the Blessed Sacrament, give to us, like to Your servant Alfred, a great faith in the Holy Eucharist. Amen.

Lord, through Your servant Alfred and his friends, we ask You this special favour… Hear our prayer.

Hail Mary… (3 times).

DAY EIGHT

«Father, if thou art willing, remove this cup from me; nevertheless not my will, but thine be done» (Lk 22, 42).

Father Alfred, pray for us. Obtain for us an invincible attachment to the Holy Will of God. Amen.

Lord Jesus, with our whole heart, with You we say: Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Help us to fulfill that will. Amen.

Father Alfred, ask for your friends this special favour… They rely on your intercession. Amen.

Hail Mary… (3 times).

(cont’d next post)

(cont’d from above post) …

DAY NINE

«I came to cast fire upon the earth and wish that it were already kindled» (Lk 12, 49).

Father Alfred Pampalon, pray to the Lord for us. Ask Him for each one of us an ardent zeal for the salvation of souls. Amen.

Lord Jesus, our Saviour, kindle in us, like in Your servant Alfred, a full dedication to the conversion and sanctification of souls. Amen.

Father Alfred, obtain for us this special favour… Hasten to come to our aid. Amen.

Hail Mary… (3 times).

I will be praying for you and your husband, Nana.

:blessyou:

thank YOU!

There are reports of how grain sensitivity - esp. wheat and corn can be a factor in addictions such as alcoholism , and even in mood disorders ; have met persons who have been on grain free diet for years , for the same reasons ! Since dairy and grain sensitivity can be related ( possibly because cows are fed corn ! ) , good to avoid dairy too !

The whole family, being on a diet that is mostly legumes, yellow , green vegs-esp. the root vegs such as yams , and some meat, fish, fruit , even a limited amount of grains and a good supplement of vitamins - esp. B12 as sublingual drops - now a days easily available ( B12 def. can be esp. common among alcoholics , leading to mood problems , which in turn can make the addictions worse !)

The sites that deal with blessed objects and spiritual warfare , also give good ideas on home protection , with use of sacramentals - cannot hurt and definitely might help !

Wish there would be treatment programs , run by The Church, that incorporate some of the above , as well as other great healing sources - Adoration, and The Word - to be a great healing place for many !

Thank you so much for all the information and the novena. I can’t express enough my thanks. God bless you.

Thanks so much.

To Leslie, thanks so much for all your valuable information and compassion. I can see how you do help many with this problem of alcohol. NOW it’s time for me to pray and check out al-anon for some advice. I saw my dh poor his rum last night for the first time before he added the coke and it was about one cup of rum. I know I would be drunk with that. His speech was slurr also after drinking it and he was on his first beer too. I realize I can’t change his behavior. He just says I am taking one of his enjoyments away. I will say, I know my dh and I know this is going to get worse. I know that the alcohol and his anger will not be a good combination. I just hope that by his decision to drink, we don’t get divorce over it and he regrets it years later. I will say, I will not tolerate it if he gets so drunk and starts to regress back to excessive anger. I will leave him with my dd. I just pray that it will not get to that.

Sorry to resurrect an old thread but I wanted to ask a question and let you know about an organization for Catholics in recovery.

First - does anyone have the text of a Matt Talbot chaplet? I’m thinking about making the chaplets myself but need the prayers that go along with it.

As for the organization, it is the International Calix Society, www.calixsociety.org. I started a unit in my parish (www.stlukecalix.org) one year ago and it is fantastic. We have about 20 people that now meet once each month starting with Mass and then a meeting afterwards. Members should be in a twelve step program as this is not “Catholic AA” but a resource for Catholics in a 12-step program to enhance their twelve step recovery. Check it out!

God Bless! Ken

P.S. Calix is Latin for chalice and our motto is “We substitute the cup that sanctifies for the cup that stupefies!”

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