Calling To Consecrated Virginity?

Hello. I'm now 20 years old and a few years back I considered being a nun. I'm still not Catholic, this is due to parental issues (in fact I was only allowed to be baptized non-denominational Christian and am only Christian in immediate family, the rest are Unitarian.) I do still go through occasional periods of wanting to be married with children but yet, I'm quite happy not being married or dating either. In fact I have never dated and turned down one male at work who was interested in me. The first time I brought up the idea of being a nun to my parents was in high school. Needless to say they did flip.

It was claimed to be a waste of my time and their college tuition money. They were not amused at all. I believe deeply my mother still hopes I will get married someday but has stated I'm her "wildcard" child. To go back to my current life I ended up stopping going to church due to how awkward it got in the house. My parents do believe in evolution and have brought such topics up to my siblings in front of me. I find it's best not to speak out or it will cause massive problems. I even once wanted to join a Christian group on college campus but due to it being a Baptist group and not deemed highly in my parents eyes I did not. Instead I have been trying little by little to learn about the Catholic Faith and keep my prayers behind my closed bedroom door.

When I first found out about consecrated virginity I realized this may be something for me. Our loving Lord has helped me more than I know, and more than I deserve at times. He has always been there for me even when others walk away. Being very shy I am slowly learning he can be my best friend if I let him. And possibly more if I can open my heart to him. The idea of still being in the world is a positive one as well. As for me I am not so sure I would get the same feelings out of a cloistered lifestyle anymore. And even though at times I think I shy away from the idea due to family issues, Our Lord keeps bringing me back. I keep having the urge to read vocation stories, and to look up these two vocations. Even though I'm young I can't help thinking that I may be called, and all I need to do is listen. I want the Lord to consume me fully, and to show others what he has done for me and can do for them. From being a disabled child doctors thought may never walk who had learning disabilities, to a college student who went through some rough patches but is doing better than a girl with her disabilities should, it can only be an act of grace that allowed for this.

I love our Lord and wish to grow ever deeper with him.

Advice and thoughts are appreciated on this topic.

What a beautiful post!

  God bless you! I am too disabled and have been since birth. I feel that my sufferings are a walk with Jesus and have lived my life to glorify god through my limitations. In regards to your wanting to make a vow of virginity-that is very courageous in this society when so many young people are being led to make very bad choices. I can understand your parent's concerns however, in another year you will be free to make your own choices and despite whatever obstacles others put in your way--you always should heed the call from Jesus. He knows you in ways your parents don't and wants to make you a beautiful example of his love. He sees you as a shining light and the fact that you are willing to preserve such a precious part of yourself for his glory is amazing and rare. If this is what the lord is calling you to do-follow him. 

 As a parent the one thing that bothers me when one of my kids wants to make a life changing decision is if they will be truly happy in their choices. I always go through a period of worry but when I see that they are happy and feeling good about themselves I am thankful and a little ashamed that I ever doubted. I can understand your parents not wanting you to waste your education however, most sisters I know have college degrees and some orders even require you obtain a degree before you take your vows. You education would not be wasted if you became a catholic and entered religious life. And not all orders are cloistered so you will not miss out on being in the world serving others. 

 We live in a society that finds fault with anyone that doesn't seek sexual pleasure-hence the drug ads for men-. Society considers it a disorder to be chaste or celibate. On the contrary, to truly join yourself to Christ one must try to live as he did and even consider celibacy as he was celibate. It is not an easy road because longings for children and curiosity of sexual matters will often tempt you but if it is truly a path you want to follow you will find the strength to fulfill your vow. 

 As a non-catholic who wants to serve the lord with her chastity there doesn't have to be a special or formal ceremony-you need only express your desire to remain pure for the glory of god. Once and if you become a catholic then you can research how you might formalize this promise but don't put the cart before the horse. Speak to your parents as a grown women who has made a decision to pursue Catholicism. Let them know that it's not a phase, that you still love them and will always and that you are prepared for the challenges and understand what a huge step it is. You might want to invite them to in inquirers class so they can ask an RCIA leader questions about the faith and then it might not scare them or seem weird. What you can do now is keep praying to the lord and the vm that they might soften your family's hearts in this matter and give you strength.

God Bless You! MAM.

You remind me alot of St. Catherine of Siena :)
She was not a nun, but a Dominican Tertiary and she's also a consecrated virgin. Her parents wanted her to marry. If that's God's will for you to be a consecrated virgin, then it shall be done. Just continue to pray each day. I don't know if this helps but I couldn't help but posting :D

That's interesting. I'll have to look St. Catherine up. ishalbehealled I really love your advice. I continue to pray that someday my family will find their way to our Lord. I do have to agree our society is very family oriented. Anyone going against these views tends to be shot down or thought of as weird. I've expressed a desire not to date before to those I work with in a part-time job and they seemed to think I was a little odd.

I do hope that our Lord will continue to show me the path he wants for me. I do have to be careful as said not to rush, and in all likelihood any formal vows would be after I moved out of the house with a stable job. At 20 I know I'm still very young and do have to be careful when dealing with this issue and my parents. Sadly, it may end up being one of those once its done they can't undo it things. Yet, in the end I hope the love I show for our Lord will be a good example for my siblings who have yet to hear of Christianity in a positive light. It makes me sad my parents will not allow for me to tell them, and they get mad when they hear other children try too. But, our Lord can work miracles and I believe they will be saved someday.

As for me I will continue my prayers. And I will seek to live the life our Lord has chosen for me. I will make sure to ask him if this is truly where he feels I need to be. And if it his will I will know in time. I will seek to remain chaste and hold that gift for our Lord unless he chooses another path for me. If there is still no change in the future then I will seek to join the Catholic Church as soon as I do end up moving out in a few years time. And then I will hope to find a spiritual director who can help me more with this.

Hello Duchess

 Well if you ever get down just know that there are others who have had to give up everything to follow him and have found the most beautiful joy in the church and in service to the lord. I am preparing a young lady for confirmation. She has had the most awful life-abuse, promiscuity, incest, abortion etc etc etc. The holy spirit called her to walk away from everything she ever knew 11 years ago and it has been very hard for her to work through her issues but she loves the lord and though she is sad that she had to cut ties to all the people that had become an obstacle, she knows that it was for her benefit because the lord wanted her to be truly whole in him. Hopefully, your family will come around and support you and you won't have to walk away from it all but just remember to have faith and know that if you are truly doing the lord's will you will have joy that last forever.


If you are called to be consecrated virgin, then you are already living your vocation. Should Our Lord be calling you to a more formalized realization of a religious vocation, whether in the world or as a cloistered religious, time is not an obstacle, as each day you grow in faith and holiness will bring you closer to your goal. I'm not familiar with the beliefs of Unitarians, but any parents who are devout in their faith will find it difficult if their child does not believe as they do. Continue with your searching and discerning, and especially with your private prayer. The answer will be given and your path will be illuminated one step at a time. Trust in Our Lord. God bless

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