Can a baptism be reenacted?


#1

Good Evening,
I have a slight dilemma with my sons recent baptism.
My mother does not live near to me or where the baptism was held. She is a devout catholic and even a principal in a catholic school. She is incredibly dear to me and is devoted to her grandson - her first grandchild.
On the day of my sons baptism there was a series of bad car accidents and traffic incidents which caused my mother to miss the baptism. We couldn't delay the baptism on the day as there were 4 other children getting baptised at the same time and the priest had several other engagements that day so we had to have it at the booked time.
My mother is devestated at having missed this important moment in her only grandchild's catholic upbringing.
My question is, would we be able to arrange a baptism reinactment for my mothers benefit? I understand that it would not be binding but I would hate for my mum to have missed this moment in my sons life. She is beside herself she is so upset. I don't know what else to do.
Is there anything that the church can do to help give this moment back to my mother? Please?
Please let me know as soon as you are able. I can't stand to see her so upset.
Thank you


#2

It is very kind of you to care about your mother's feelings but, as she and you both know, a "re-enactment" would be meaningless relative to your dear child's spiritual and sacramental life. He's already been baptized. It is done and she wasn't there. He will have a life-time of special occasions and she will undoubtedly make an effort to create wonderful memories for him and with him. This one, however, has come and gone.


#3

In agreement with the first response.

There are many other sacramental milestones that your mother can participate, such as first communion. Being Catholic is a lifetime adventure. Encourage her to join her grandson for any of the routine ones so that the special events are made more special as they come.


#4

Naturally you want to "fix" things for your mother, bit sometimes we have to let people deal with their disappointments on their own. This is a valuable lesson for you, as you will have to do it many times in the coming years for your son.


#5

[quote="ErinvdM, post:1, topic:342210"]
My mother is devestated at having missed this important moment in her only grandchild's catholic upbringing.

[/quote]

Devastated seems to be a bit of a strong word. I am sure she was disappointed, but devastated?

[quote="ErinvdM, post:1, topic:342210"]

My question is, would we be able to arrange a baptism reinactment for my mothers benefit?

[/quote]

No.

Baptism is not a show, it's a sacrament, and it cannot be staged *or *re-enacted.

[quote="ErinvdM, post:1, topic:342210"]
I understand that it would not be binding but I would hate for my mum to have missed this moment in my sons life. She is beside herself she is so upset. I don't know what else to do.

[/quote]

Help her get a grip by reinforcing that there are many moments of grace in our lives as Christians and she will be there to share them with your son. And, that it is not the end of the world that she missed the baptism.

[quote="ErinvdM, post:1, topic:342210"]
Is there anything that the church can do to help give this moment back to my mother? Please?

[/quote]

No.

It's not your mother's moment. It was your son's moment. And, it has passed. Does your mom often have difficulty dealing with disappintment? I would be disappointed too, but to try to "reinact" the baptism seems a little crazy to me, actually. What is done is done. What is the point of this "re-enactment"?

[quote="ErinvdM, post:1, topic:342210"]
Please let me know as soon as you are able. I can't stand to see her so upset.
Thank you

[/quote]

Wow. Then you need to help her work on not being upset over such things. It is not life or death. Maybe she needs some counseling. If she is truly distraught over this, that is way out of bounds of normal emotional reaction to missing a baptism even of one's own grandchild.


#6

[quote="St_Francis, post:4, topic:342210"]
Naturally you want to "fix" things for your mother, bit sometimes we have to let people deal with their disappointments on their own. This is a valuable lesson for you, as you will have to do it many times in the coming years for your son.

[/quote]

Agreed. Definitely will be more disappointments in the future.


#7

[quote="ErinvdM, post:1, topic:342210"]
Good Evening,
I have a slight dilemma with my sons recent baptism.
My mother does not live near to me or where the baptism was held. She is a devout catholic and even a principal in a catholic school. She is incredibly dear to me and is devoted to her grandson - her first grandchild.
On the day of my sons baptism there was a series of bad car accidents and traffic incidents which caused my mother to miss the baptism. We couldn't delay the baptism on the day as there were 4 other children getting baptised at the same time and the priest had several other engagements that day so we had to have it at the booked time.
My mother is devestated at having missed this important moment in her only grandchild's catholic upbringing.
My question is, would we be able to arrange a baptism reinactment for my mothers benefit? I understand that it would not be binding but I would hate for my mum to have missed this moment in my sons life. She is beside herself she is so upset. I don't know what else to do.
Is there anything that the church can do to help give this moment back to my mother? Please?
Please let me know as soon as you are able. I can't stand to see her so upset.
Thank you

[/quote]

As a devout Catholic woman and principal of a Catholic school, I'm sure your mother understands that the baptism is over and due to circumstances beyond her control, she was not able to be there. Now it is time to get beyond that and raise the child to be an awesome Catholic adult. Remind her that he is her FIRST grandchild; God willing, there will be more to come and many more baptisms in the future.


#8

She can look foward to his Confirmation and First Communion.


#9

i'm sorry that your mom missed the baptism what one needs to step back a realize of whatever reason, she was unable to attend. maybe the accidents prevented something worse for her. God knows that her desire and intention was to attend but lets say if she wasn't stopped by this accident, that she could have been hurt or killed by another down the road. We see things in a limited way the bigger picture. How would you feel if she was hurt or killed while on the way to your son's baptism. There are many more sacramental events down the road to be a part of. I had a friend whose mother passed away on the day her oldest son graduated from a Catholic high school. She was so torn between being happy and upset about her death. Instead of dealing on what was missed, dwell on that she is alive, not apart of any of these accidents and still can be involved in your son's life.


#10

Thank you all for your replies.
Firstly I must say that I am disappointed with the overall tone of the replies in general. As a catholic I was brought up to believe that you treated other peoples problems with sympathy and understanding. I had a legitimate question about something that I wish to do for my mother whom I love and who loves my son. I was hoping for something other than "tell her to get counseling" or "you missed out. Too bad. Get over it" as many of the replies suggested. Yes my mother is devestated. This is a day that she was looking forward to and put a great deal of effort into. She is well within her rites to be legitimately upset. I'm sorry but "at least she's alive" or "there will be other sacraments" isn't helpful or comforting. It's condescending. And I am aware that a baptism is not a "stage show" as one particularly cruel person wrote. I do not wish to treat it as such and I even stated that I understand it would not be binding. I am trying to do something nice for my mother, not charge admission. How dare you trivialize her sadness in such a cruel and derisive way. Shame on you.
I wasn't here looking for a solid answer but maybe some helpful hints on how I can make this moment up to my mother. As the years go by and my son receives more and more sacraments with the church I had hoped to come here for any more advice I may require but given the awful tone and general derision spouted in here I will seek help and support elsewhere.


#11

I am sorry for your predicament and I am sorry for how you are treated here, but please try to see it from our perspective. A sacrament such as baptism is a sacred thing to Catholics, and a fundamental feature of this particular sacrament is that it cannot be repeated. It is a gift from God which is for the benefit of the soul being baptized, not for the amusement or gratification of the family and friends.

Let's think about it this way. Most of us don't remember our own infant baptisms. Do we demand that we have it all over again when we are 13, so that we can have a proper party and gifts and our loved ones all around us? No, that's what Confirmation is for. :rolleyes:

I'll grant that there has been some overreaction in this thread. But we don't know you. You're a stranger who has come in and asked us a rather off-the-wall question. Reputation and respect have to be built from something, in any community, and you have a trial account with no other posts to your name. You haven't even filled out your profile, not even with a specified religion - are you Catholic? For all we know, you could just be trolling us, and while the moderation here can be strict, trolls are sometimes tolerated until they slip up in a big way.


#12

I'm so sorry she missed that. I know my mom would've been upset if she were in your mom's shoes.

A few thoughts. I'm guessing, based on your post, that nobody there for your son videoed it? If not, do you happen to know any of the other families there that day with their little ones well enough to see if they did, & if so, a possible copy for your mom? No, the full focus wouldn't be on you guys, but if they recorded from start to finish, she'd still be able to see it.

For those saying "oh, there will be more grand kids, wait for Communion/Confirmation", etc...are you aware of how painfully short life can be? Who says that there will be more kids? I thought I'd have 3 or 4 by now, yet I have 1. And nobody knows how long anyone will live? In the past few years, I have seen people die far too young. Young enough to miss many anticipated events that they took for granted they'd be around for.

To the OP, I hope you can find a way to bring some peace to the situation.


#13

This is one of the few threads in which I completely agree with *every *post made in response to the OP. :p


#14

[quote="ErinvdM, post:10, topic:342210"]
Thank you all for your replies.
Firstly I must say that I am disappointed with the overall tone of the replies in general. As a catholic I was brought up to believe that you treated other peoples problems with sympathy and understanding. I had a legitimate question about something that I wish to do for my mother whom I love and who loves my son. I was hoping for something other than "tell her to get counseling" or "you missed out. Too bad. Get over it" as many of the replies suggested. Yes my mother is devestated. This is a day that she was looking forward to and put a great deal of effort into. She is well within her rites to be legitimately upset. I'm sorry but "at least she's alive" or "there will be other sacraments" isn't helpful or comforting. It's condescending. And I am aware that a baptism is not a "stage show" as one particularly cruel person wrote. I do not wish to treat it as such and I even stated that I understand it would not be binding. I am trying to do something nice for my mother, not charge admission. How dare you trivialize her sadness in such a cruel and derisive way. Shame on you.
I wasn't here looking for a solid answer but maybe some helpful hints on how I can make this moment up to my mother. As the years go by and my son receives more and more sacraments with the church I had hoped to come here for any more advice I may require but given the awful tone and general derision spouted in here I will seek help and support elsewhere.

[/quote]

Again, I am sorry you feel some of the posts were not sympathetic. I think when some of the posters suggested that there are more sacraments down the road or possible other children to come is to help both you and your mother have a little perspective. I think that all of us have missed somewhere big events and things and yes it is hard and upsetting but the best help when someone experiences a big disappointment is not to dwell on the emotions and upset but to look at the bigger picture. I mentioned in my earlier post about my friend's mother passing away on the day her oldest son was to graduate from HS. Her mother was very ill and in a nursing home. Her mother was so excited about her grandson graduating from an all boys Catholic HS. My friend went around to everyone to have them pray that she attend the graduation. Things were up and down. The sunday before the graduation, the grandson went to visit is grandma in his graduation rope. The next morning, the day of the graduation, she passed away. My friend was just beside herself. It was the worst of circumstances. This grandma graduated with her grandson and probably had the best seat in the house. It was focussing on that that helped my friend overcome her grief and unfortunate circumstances. That is why i say to you that for whatever reason, your mom couldn't attend. I think instead of focussing on the miss, focus that she wasn't involved in any of these car accidents, that she wasn't hurt, that she is still alive. I have found in my own misses and disappointments that when i start to focus on the bigger picture, thankfulness on health and being alive that the hurt begins to ease and when we are grateful instead of angry we can move forward instead of being stuck in our own pity and drowning in that. That may not be the message of unending pity but of real sympathy to help the both of you move beyond the disappointment.


#15

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