Can a marriage flourish without God?

I have a co-worker who’s been married for 17 years, yet talks about her husband as if they were newly wed.

Truly, they seem to have something remarkable. Yet God is not a big part of their lives. Sex *is *a very, very big part of their lives. While she’s a bible-Christian (and he’s a non-churchgoer) she’s also not shy about discussing their going to topless beaches, their rented porn movies, etc etc.:eek:

This thread is not started necessarily to discuss *their *marriage, but marriages in general which seem good and happy but are not founded in Christ. How can these marriage flourish? You hear of marriages which started out in adultery lasting 45 years, marriages of 2 atheists which outlast confirmed Catholics. How does this happen??

Just some ideas that came to mind:

Maybe it is because the couple’s personalities compliment each other well.

Maybe it is because they both understand the giving part of a marriage–even if they don’t necessarily practice perfect self-giving.

And maybe there are couples like these because it is possible for people to have a relatively happy life or marriage without God, but it will always be a finite and temporary happiness in their life or marriage until they include God.

Maybe because people like that really are searching for God. Due to big misunderstandings, they shy away from his Name and his Church, but they seek out goodness as it occurs to them to do so? They may not understand Church teaching, but it’s quite natural to feel that breaking an oath would be wrong.

Though in regards to this particular couple… I’ve known pairs like this and later came to find out that the woman was actually hiding deep pain over her husband’s mental infidelities, trying to be cool, and thinking that her inner jealousy was “unnatural” and stemmed from insecurity rather than legitimate wrongdoing. I guess plenty of people can appear to be happy but it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are happy deep down inside.

I agree with what was posted earlier, maybe some marriages although professed to NOT be rooted in faith are actually being practiced in the same regard. My point is that it is always said that the voice of God is through our conscience. Sometimes people listen to their conscience without even understanding that there is a God who loves them talking to them. So some marriages although between two completely non-believers may in fact be very good marriages, just because both husband and wife undersatnd what it means to love.

Another intersting way to look at it would be to ask why does God allow these marriages to continue? I mean if they were blatently disregarding God, he could easily have the power to cause ruin. But it shows His love and His patience for accepting our Free Will. We are definately interesting and entertaining creations sometimes.

Now about this specific example you mention, it seems to me that they are really abusing sex for each others own personal and selfish gratifications and a complete disregard for each other’s human dignity.

God Bless :slight_smile:

God can be a part of whatever marriage He choses to, regardless of the intent of the couple (thankfully.)

Also, I would point out that people sometimes do not accurately represent or understand the relationships they are in. The marriage may not be as good as it appears. I have a relative who paints the cheeriest word-pictures about things over which she is most worried.

How does anyone know where God is in a marriage?

The Holy Spirit blows where He pleases. He can grace the rituals of wiccans, He can bless the marriages of atheists, He can move the immoral to sacrifice their lives for the sake of the poor.

God woos us in the way God chooses, and He loves each and every one of us completely and in a depth that we cannot imagine, let alone describe or appreciate.

I am not saying that this is the attitude of anyone who has posted so far, but we should not worry that because God blesses others that God’s blessings upon us are somehow cheapened.

Rather, God gives to each as God’s wisdom dictates is the best. It may be that a marriage that has faith to lean on may not receive so much of other helps, so that the souls of those two married people may come to depend more on God. You never know who gets what, or who is making the most of what they have been given. Luckily, we don’t need to.

A plain reliance on God is a help to the health and longevity of marriage, and any statistician can tell you that. Faith, and especially shared faith, is one of the most profound and ordinary graces that God bestows to strengthen marriages. That God gives other graces to others in other ways does not change that. God is to be thanked that their marriage is strong. May God rain every other blessing on them as well, including eternal life.

NO…they cannot…17 years is no big accomplishment…that just means they are getting to the age of “not so attractive” and they will stray, becuase thier heart’s desire is not for God

Well, I know that He is at the center of ours! Long story short, we got married civilly, had a horrible marriage, got divorced. While we were apart, we both, individually, found our way to God. When we began discussing remarriage, we both knew that the way things used to be wasn’t working, and we had to change. God was that change. We put His will at the center, praying together as a family, making church attendance top priority. Our marriage now is nothing like the first time. In fact, we’ve both said it’s like being married to different people! God can change people, and marriages, when He is welcomed there. I know He did ours!

I don’t think you can say they will stray. You have no way of knowing that.

Being devout Catholics is no gaurantee of a solid happy marriage either.

All else aside, I think a couple staying together for 17 years is an accomplishment, especially in today’s day and age! You can still be a good person even without fully understanding God’s effect in your life.

Define “without God”…

“God” meaning within our (Catholic) boundaries?, Or Athiesm?

My Aunt & Uncle would be celebrating their 50th this year… if God hadn’t have taken my Uncle this past spring… 78 years old, avid scuba diver, snow-skier, rock climber… BAM - died in his sleep of “natural causes/old age”… no reason… just “Sorry dude, I need you up here now”.

FORTY NINE & 3/4 YEARS TOGETHER. And not subscribers to any “formal” religion. They are Christians, believed in God and his son Jesus, but not in any particular discipline. Were never blessed with children - and He knows they tried. They filled their lives with “critters”. He an accredited Veterinarian, she his “gal Friday” in the hospital.

In retirement they toured the U.S. in their RV, and on any given Sunday in whatever town they’d be in they’d stop for the morning service at the first Church they came upon. Always respectful and open-minded, and join with the parishoners in their community’s House. Often they’d write me about how they were invited in to the “after Service social” and meet/make great new friends.

Die Hard Catholics…?? No, not in a heartbeat. Worthy recipients of Gods Light and Care… Yes. Unquestioning followers of Docrine…? NO. Open minded people, who respect others… Yes.

This is the story of a man & woman who spent 5 decades together. 30 years of this caring for the animals “Man shall have dominion over”, or donating time at “Lamb’s Farm” (for the retarded or autistic) because they couldn’t have children of their own.

BLB_Oregon… The Holy Spirit blows where He pleases.

Hawthorne… God can be a part of whatever marriage He choses to, regardless of the intent of the couple (thankfully.)

Truer words have never been spoken.

If “without God” means “Not in the Catholic Definition” of God…


I do not believe you should be so presumptuous in your comments. Many people live out successful relationships without the inclusion of religion or God. Even without infedelity.

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