Can Catholics elope?


#1

So I have this friend on CAF who met up with another CAF poster and they might be crazy but she said they’re going to elope. They make a good couple tho. Would an elopement be allowed in the eyes of the church or would they not be validly married

She’s thinking of it pretty soon so let me know ASAP


#2

No way...and be married in the eyes of God. Yes, they can run off and get a civil marriage, if that's what they want, but if they're Catholic it will not be recognized by the Church.


#3

If elope means go through the process of getting their marriage approved by and done in a church but very privately then that isn't really a big deal. It is sad that they choose not to include family but sometimes for financial or social reasons you just can't. Getting married through a court or vegas style however isn't considered a valid form of marriage for two Catholics.


#4

It depends on the definition of the word “elope” and which diocese they are going to go get married in. Obviously the first thing is that if both are Catholics they do need to be married in a Church and be clear of any impediments. The second thing is that they need to have a priest that is willing to perform the marriage. Different dioceses have different “rules” so to speak. Either way they would probably need to run some information through the couples individual parishes of registration. Also there would need to be a pre-Cana class somewhere. In some dioceses that is a weekend - in the Archdiocese of Miami that class is down to a day which is sad. There used to be even a warning against doing this kind of thing on the Archdiocese of Las Vegas website.

However all that being said there is nothing that says that two people for whatever reasons cannot plan and execute a valid, matrimonial ceremony with the help of their clergy - even in their own parish (which cuts down on paperwork and expense) and when they come out to their friends as being married their friends should do the charitable thing and accept their marriage as Sacramental if they tell them it is and give them their blessings, prayers, and best wishes. And maybe a card after the fact with some money in it. :wink:


#5

+Falling in love and considering marriage is a marvelous rite of passage for any couple . . .and may our Wonderful God guide this couple every step of the way in their discernment of His Holy Will for their lives . . . however . . . Catholics . . . really need to go to a priest for counsel regarding discerning the blessed calling and the entering into the wonderful, holy blessed vocation of marriage. If there is some reason for desiring a quiet private ceremony . . . such as personal choice, economic need, parental interference, etc. . . . the priest can handle the situation with discretion and give counsel accordingly.

Holy marriage between Christian validly baptized persons . . . while a wonderfully blest state . . . is also a very deep, serious and profoundly life changing matter . . . for anyone considering same . . . especially if one is a Catholic Christian or a non-Catholic Christian. This subject is dealt with in the below quotes from the Catechism . . . and there are some very specific rules laid out in Catholic Canon Law regarding a valid marriage for a Catholic. A priest really should always be carefully consulted whenever possible regarding same before attempting to enter into such a covenant before the Lord . . . for a valid marriage between baptized Christians is far more than just a legal contract . . . it is a covenant by the bride and groom together . . . with and before God . . . which cannot be broken once validly entered into . . .
[INDENT][size=]:signofcross:
The Catechism of the Catholic Church**[/size]**

ARTICLE 7
THE SACRAMENT OF MATRIMONY
**1601 **
"The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by **Christ the Lord **to the dignity of a sacrament."84 …

II. The Celebration of Marriage

**1621 **
In the Latin Rite the celebration of marriage between two Catholic faithful normally takes place during Holy Mass, because of the connection of all the sacraments with the Paschal mystery of Christ.120 In the Eucharist the memorial of the New Covenant is realized, the New Covenant in which Christ has united himself for ever to the Church, his beloved bride for whom he gave himself up.121 It is therefore fitting that the spouses should seal their consent to give themselves to each other through the offering of their own lives by uniting it to the offering of **Christ **for his Church made present in the Eucharistic sacrifice, and by receiving the Eucharist so that, communicating in the same Body and the same Blood of Christ, they may form but “one body” in Christ.122

**1622 **
"Inasmuch as it is a sacramental action of sanctification, the liturgical celebration of marriage . . . must be, per se, valid, worthy, and fruitful."123 It is therefore appropriate for the bride and groom to prepare themselves for the celebration of their marriage by receiving the sacrament of penance.

**1623 **
According to the Latin tradition, the spouses as ministers of Christ’s grace mutually confer upon each other the sacrament of Matrimony by expressing their consent before the Church. In the traditions of the Eastern Churches, the priests (bishops or presbyters) are witnesses to the mutual consent given by the spouses,124 but for the validity of the sacrament their blessing is also necessary.125
**
1624 **
The various liturgies abound in pray:gopray2:ers of blessing and epiclesis asking God’s grace and blessing on the new couple, especially the bride. In the epiclesis of this sacrament the spouses receive the **Holy Spirit as the communion of love :heart: ** of Christ and the Church.126 The Holy Spirit is the seal of their covenant.[/INDENT]__________________________________
[INDENT][INDENT]
:bible1: Matthew 19:6

Therefore now they are not two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.

:bible1: Mark 10:9
What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.[/INDENT][/INDENT]
[RIGHT]. . . all for Jesus+
. . . thank You Blessed Lord God our Saviour+
. . . thank You Blessed Virgin Mary+
. . . thank you Holy Mother Church+
. . . praise God from Whom all blessings flow+

:harp:[/RIGHT]


#6

I am sure you already know what the CCC says due to some of the other conversations you have had on here you seem very knowledgable - in case you need it for your friend here is the the Code of Canon Law and Marriage


#7

What’s the rush? If they are a good couple why not go through pre-Cana and do things the right way? I am suspicious of a couple that wants to elope - as if someone is pursuing them and they have to secret themselves away to marry…This does not bode well for the future.

If the families would not approve, the eloping will not improve that situation.

Of course getting married in front of a judge is not a valid Catholic marriage.


#8

[quote="SeaShoreGirl, post:1, topic:231416"]
So I have this friend on CAF who met up with another CAF poster and they might be crazy but she said they're going to elope. They make a good couple tho. Would an elopement be allowed in the eyes of the church or would they not be validly married

She's thinking of it pretty soon so let me know ASAP

[/quote]

Not enough information. What is meant by elope? Are they ignoring the church teachings on preparing for and celebrating a wedding? Then yes it would be invalid.


#9

I think we need to remember that not every family is a nice happy family. I know some couples where the stress of dealing with the parents is enough to drive that couple crazy and keep either one of them from ever getting married. I know some children that have basically divorced their parents. I know some that basically should have. I don’t think we are in a position to judge anyone’s actions just hope that whatever someone may be doing is well though out and done with the advice of a good priest.


#10

When I hear the word 'elope' it makes me think a woman needs to escape something. What is your friend trying to escape?


#11

Maybe the couple just wants a romantic way of doing something...I dont see a problem...


#12

Maybe the couple just wants a romantic way of doing something...I dont see a problem...


#13

[quote="joanofarc2008, post:9, topic:231416"]
I think we need to remember that not every family is a nice happy family. I know some couples where the stress of dealing with the parents is enough to drive that couple crazy and keep either one of them from ever getting married. I know some children that have basically divorced their parents. I know some that basically should have. I don't think we are in a position to judge anyone's actions just hope that whatever someone may be doing is well though out and done with the advice of a good priest.

[/quote]

Would a priest really advise a couple to elope? Or would he advise counseling to deal with issues and to make a plan to deal with problems in the families? Running away and getting married is bound to anger at least one of the families. If not both. And if the couple has "divorced" their parents, they need to know the problems, grief, anger, etc. that may come up in the marriage.


#14

We are all speaking in hypotheticals but then again it all depends on your definition of elope. Elope may not mean running away - it may mean marrying and not telling your families because mom and dad are abusive drug addicts. Just random thoughts - we don’t know - but look how quick we are to judge that someone somewhere is obviously jumping into a marriage that may be invalid. Maybe it is just me but I am going to put my trust and faith in God and hope that whomever it is - is speaking to a good priest that knows better than anonymous people on a forum - after all if they wanted us to know their business - we would know it.


#15

[quote="SeaShoreGirl, post:1, topic:231416"]
So I have this friend on CAF who met up with another CAF poster and they might be crazy but she said they're going to elope. They make a good couple tho. Would an elopement be allowed in the eyes of the church or would they not be validly married

She's thinking of it pretty soon so let me know ASAP

[/quote]

Tell her not to go there. I eloped and it was a big, huge mess later.


#16

I’ll let her know all this. You all make very good points. :thumbsup:


#17

[quote="SeaShoreGirl, post:1, topic:231416"]
So I have this friend on CAF who met up with another CAF poster and they might be crazy but she said they're going to elope. They make a good couple tho. Would an elopement be allowed in the eyes of the church or would they not be validly married

She's thinking of it pretty soon so let me know ASAP

[/quote]

Of course they would still need to get their marriage con-validated by their priest, but I have a much more important question:

It's possible for me to meet a good Catholic girl here on CAF? Shut up! Wow! I better start spending more time here. Which Message Board Topic do I go to? lol


#18

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