Can deleted Facebook chat be recovered?


#1

Adult child;) may be planning on meeting someone from the internet.... left Facebook page open with a limited view of chat. VERY CONCERNED NOW.

A Google search found a couple of programs to download, but some say it can't be done. Very leary of just downloading something, as it could just wipe out my computer, but hey that might be a good thing.:D

Thought I would check here first..........


#2

If you have re-clicked on the person, sometimes you can recover the conversation, but at the top of the IM box, you can click on 'clear chat history'.


#3

You said "adult child", not a minor. I understand your concern, however as your child is adult, isn't this invasion of privacy?

If your young adult doesn't trust you and you don't trust your young adult, it's a worry.

Not all internet contacts are bad. In fact I personally know of several blessed marriages that have resulted from internet contacts. True, not all contacts are good or have good results.

Would you intend interference? Most parents of young adults know this will be unsuccessful.

You can pray and hope but there isn't a lot you can otherwise do.


#4

[quote="lovedbyHim, post:1, topic:220494"]
Adult child;) may be planning on meeting someone from the internet.... left Facebook page open with a limited view of chat. VERY CONCERNED NOW.

A Google search found a couple of programs to download, but some say it can't be done. Very leary of just downloading something, as it could just wipe out my computer, but hey that might be a good thing.:D

Thought I would check here first..........

[/quote]

Why are you concerned. Was your limited view one of an impure conversation, or something disturbing?


#5

Your smiley implies that this might be your husband you are talking about. If you suspect infidelity, you might consider confronting him about it before he goes and does something awful and brings home STDs. You can’t go behind his back tracking his moves forever. At some point the truth about the infidelity is going to come out and you both will have to deal with the consequences to your marriage.


#6

I’m sorry I totally got your post wrong. I thought you were talking about YOURSELF and YOUR chat that you accidently clicked out on.

Okay my bad. Ignore my post then.


#7

I met my current boyfriend through the internet. He isn't psychopathic; we were just both fed up and tired of the materialistic, shallow individuals who saturate our "dating pools." We've been together for 2 years now and he is a loving, kind, intelligent, thoughtful individual. There are actually some advantages to dating, such as instant common ground, which is usually established before the first date is set. If you ask me, it's a lot more successful and sensical than "blind dating."


#8

I meet many friends over the Internet. If you are careful and judge people by the friends that they keep, it can be just as safe as meeting people in real life. It is much easier now to get to know people who live out of state and out of the country. This is how the new generations are socializing, we find it perfectly normal.


#9

I think your "adult child" needs to be allowed to make his/her own mistakes unless he is your husband in which case I would leave the chat window up and put a sticky note on the frame next to it that says "was going to log in and do some chatting of my own but did not want you to lose your contact info - need to talk tomorrow :)"


#10

Wow, a lot of assumptions means I must type more parameters next time!

NO IT IS NOT MY HUSBAND! It is a girl DS calls by name and texts and skypes and Facebooks and phones.

Yes, their comments were of a graphic impure nature. He is LYING to us about where he wants to go (WITH OUR CAR), which would be out of state.

You say I am invading his privacy? Baloney. He lives in MY HOUSE, I am paying HIS TUITION, he is eating MY FOOD, using MY UTILITIES. If he wants to lie and be immoral and possibly get the STD or impregnate someone as someone implied my husband would, don't I have the right to say, HEY YOU'RE LYING and tell him the dangers of meeting someone he knows only from online? Besides, SHE IS A MINOR!!!!!!!!!

Now, can someone help me or not?


#11

I do not believe it is possible to recover a chat from facebook. It doesn't seem to save like other IM type programs. Certainly it is appropriate to have a conversation with your son and deny him your vehicle, among any other consequences that you have control over, to prevent him from meeting with a minor child.


#12

[quote="lovedbyHim, post:10, topic:220494"]
Wow, a lot of assumptions means I must type more parameters next time!

NO IT IS NOT MY HUSBAND! It is a girl DS calls by name and texts and skypes and Facebooks and phones.

Yes, their comments were of a graphic impure nature. He is LYING to us about where he wants to go (WITH OUR CAR), which would be out of state.

You say I am invading his privacy? Baloney. He lives in MY HOUSE, I am paying HIS TUITION, he is eating MY FOOD, using MY UTILITIES. If he wants to lie and be immoral and possibly get the STD or impregnate someone as someone implied my husband would, don't I have the right to say, HEY YOU'RE LYING and tell him the dangers of meeting someone he knows only from online? Besides, SHE IS A MINOR!!!!!!!!!

Now, can someone help me or not?

[/quote]

I recommend sitting down with him and CALMLY TALKING. COMMUNICATION is the key, not sneaking around behind his back. Show him you are concerned and explain why you area concerned. Perhaps he has not thought out the situation. Gently explain it - NO YELLING! Calmly and quietly and respectfully DISCUSS the pros and cons. As soon as you start yelling, the hearing from his end ceases, and I guarantee all he will hear is "blah, blah, blah". So do NOT yell.


#13

As far as her being a minor and him living in your house - yes this is wrong. You need to calmly explain to him that if he chooses to stay in your house he needs to live by your rules.


#14

I know exactly what you are talking about - I've been following your other thread about your 18 year old son.

If your son is clearing his chat messages, then therefore they are not retrievable.

Also, you need to keep in mind that you need your sons password to access his FB page..

My suggestion:

Don't give him the car to drive across to a different state to hook up with this minor. If you son is serious about this, like other posters have mentioned, talk to him about it.

And if it's OK with you and your DH, tell your son to inform the 16 old girl that her father should drive her to meet your son at your house.


#15

I don't think you can recover his Facebook chat--and I don't think that recovering it will resolve the real issue here.

I agree that anyone living on your dime should abide by your rules, within reason. And your rules in this case are very reasonable.

My beliefs: It isn't illegal or immoral for him to date a minor. It is both illegal and immoral to have sex with a minor. It may or may not be illegal to have sexual conversations with a minor. Under our faith, it is immoral for him to have sexual conversations with ANYONE not his wife, the immorality of which is exacerbated by her being a minor.

I agree with the previous posters that, until he regains your trust that he is living according to YOUR rules, you should remove any privileges that enable him to engage in immoral behavior. Take away the car keys (he can ride the bus, catch a ride with friends, or ride with his mother or father IF you approve of his destination). Take away or limit his internet access. (If you purchased his computer, limit access to it as well.) Explain to him WHY these PRIVILEGES have been revoked and what he can do to regain them.

Again, reading his chat history with this girl (or any other girl) won't fix anything. :(


#16

If they are chatting then it is very likely that they have messaged each other (different from chatting). If he leaves his page open then you would be able to read his messages (just click on messages).........If the girl wasnt a minor, then I would advise that you just let him be, but you could steer him in the right direction if he is intending on doing something that could really get him into trouble...


#17

It may be time to seek professional help for your son's problems. I looked through your other threads, and it looks as though this has been going on for nearly a year. Obviously seeking help on an internet forum has not been working if the problem is still around.


#18

Well, I'm an avid Facebook user and the answer is, no, old chats can't be recovered. There's literally no way. The box can only hold a certain amount of text at a time, so as the two people talk and the chat gets longer, the text at the top gets pushed off and is lost forever.


#19

[quote="lovedbyHim, post:1, topic:220494"]
Adult child;) may be planning on meeting someone from the internet.... left Facebook page open with a limited view of chat. VERY CONCERNED NOW.

A Google search found a couple of programs to download, but some say it can't be done. Very leary of just downloading something, as it could just wipe out my computer, but hey that might be a good thing.:D

Thought I would check here first..........

[/quote]

You can buy and install Spector Pro, which records all chat from both sides including all chats. It's about $70 and worth every penny. I would do it again in a heartbeat if I was afraid my son was going to do something illegal, especially meeting someone from the internet. It's a different world we live in and parents have to be ready to do things they might not otherwise have to do.

This program is completely stealthy, he will not be able to tell it is installed, it does not show up in the program list or the process list or anywhere he can find it.

However, I would also kick this son out of my house and pronto. He is really doing a lot of stuff that goes well over the line and shouldn't be tolerated by you or your husband. You never respond when someone asks you about your husband and what he is doing about this son. What will your husband do if your son takes off with the car to meet this girl?


#20

[quote="TheRealJuliane, post:19, topic:220494"]
You never respond when someone asks you about your husband and what he is doing about this son. What will your husband do if your son takes off with the car to meet this girl?

[/quote]

I agree that the father needs to be the one to step up to the plate and deal with this. Sorry to say, but mom just doesn't always hold the same authority in a child's eye that Dad does. There's just something different about dads. Dad's word is law, while mom can be negotiated with and sometimes ignored. This is particularly true if mom doesn't usually follow through with discipline or lets kids get away with things they shouldn't. In those cases she has lost her authority and the kids don't respect her orders because there have never been any consequences for breaking them.

If you are the type of mom who is afraid to tell her kids no, always gives in when the kids get upset about discipline, or is otherwise hesistant to take action when they are out of line (my mom is the same way, so I know what goes through kids heads when you do things like that), having Dad is your best and possibly only hope to turn your son around.


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