Can Ex-hubby and his fiancee get married in a Catholic church service?


#1

History: ex hubby and I were married in Presby church in 88, 89 we had twin girls, by 04 we were divorced. I remarried 2yrs later. He remarried and since divorced wife #2. Now he is engaged to a women that has a child out of wedlock, she wants to get married in a catholic church. Now my question here is can they get married in a Cathlic ceremony being that he has children from a previous marriage without our (mine and his) marriage being annulled? And can he get the annullment without my consent. Our girls were baptized Cathoilic if that matters at all.
:confused:


#2

I believe this will present a problem with your ex’s intention to marry his fiancee. Your said you were married in a Presbyterian Church, but your children were baptized Catholic? So does that mean that one or both of you are Catholic but married outside of the church? That’s a different can of worms.

These marriages will have to be investigated. I doubt that a priest will let this move forward with out consulting a tribunal.

Also, he does not need your consent to get an annulment. But it probably will be more difficult.


#3

as it stands your ex is not free to marry anyone, in any church at any time. If he wishes to marry a Catholic he must submit all the facts on all previous marriages to the canon law tribunal of the diocese where he resides, or where the marriage was contracted, for an investigation and judgement on its validity, that is, to determine if the conditions necessary for a valid contract were present at the time of the marriage. the earliest marriage will be investigated first, and so on. What happened after the marriage, and whether or not there are children of the marriage are irrelevant, unless they happen to shed light on circumstances that pertained at the time of the marriage. Yes, the other spouse must be given the chance to give their testimony. There is no possible way to address a specific marriage situation on this forum. Either party must contact a priest to begin the annulment process, bearing in mind there is no guarantee a decree of nullity will be issued.


#4

Your consent for the annulment process is not needed. Your particpation in an annulment process is not required. All that is required is that the Tribunal make legitimate attempt(s) to make you aware that the annulment has been requested and advise you of its outcome. If your ex-husband did not have current information on your location, or you chose to ignore any contact from the Tribunal, it is certainly possible for the process to have taken place without your knowledge. Not probably, but possible . . .


#5

I’m interested in the replies–to you final question–without your consent. First, if you were not married to him in a Catholic Church, why would he need an annulment? And, if he does still need an annulment to get married in a Catholic Church–would you not consent, and if not, why? I am just curious, as you have remarried–unless, you are just saying for example, without your consent. Hope I haven’t confused ya. haha :wink: :stuck_out_tongue:

PS; I don’t believe that if your children were baptized Catholic, it matters to your marital status.:confused:


#6

Glad you asked this, I was wondering the same thing! :stuck_out_tongue:


#7

Generally, marriages performed in Protestant churches are recognized by the Church, but I am not sure if it’s valid if a Catholic marries outside the Church in another denomination (unless a dispensation is given). :confused:


#8

A Catholic is bound by requirements of form unless dispensed. Without dispensation, Catholics don’t marry validly in Protestant churches by Protestant ministers (Orthodox church and priest would be valid, though).

As for the Opening Poster’s question, I can’t really recover it from the text. If you were both Protestant at the moment you married in the Protestant church, form didn’t bind you and the marriage is valid unless there was an impediment or a defect of consent. If at least one of you was Catholic and there was no dispensation, then the marriage is invalid because of lack of form. Still, no matter what, all your and his marriages will need to be submitted to the tribunal for examination before you can marry in the Church.


#9

Because the Catholic Church assumes that all marriages are valid, until they have been proven by means of a Marriage Tribunal or another process that the Tribunal has authorized, to not be valid.

If one of them was a Catholic, and they were married in a Presbyterian Church, then it would be really easy to get the Declaration of Nullity, based on lack of form - they don’t even call witnesses for that one. Someone I know got one of those in less than a week; she already had it in her hand by the time her ex-husband was notified of the proceedings.


#10

My question to the OP is why does SHE care what HE does?
Except where the kids are concerned
Kathy


#11

ah ha! ok–thank you!


#12

You mean in general, or because of the marriage/ decree of nullity?


#13

You have gotten the answer on consent. You don’t have to give your permission. You may give testimony as to the validity of the marriage if you are sent the paperwork. In general we don’t have all the facts to make a good prediction. For instance we don’t know if he left the church by a formal act or not. Of course I’ll take a stab at it anyway cause that’s what we do on a message board. Of course it’s always best to go have a sit down with a priest as I’m sure his girlfriend is doing.

Did he have a dispensation to be married in the presbyterian church for your wedding? In other words did he go to his priest and ask for permission to do so? If he didn’t then you won’t be sent any papers at all because as a Catholic he did not contract a valid marriage with you .

Have no clue as to whether his next marriage was valid. If that was also not in the Catholic church and he didn’t get permission then that marriage was not valid either.

It will be a fairly simple matter of filing paperwork to have those marriages declared null if he did not get a dispensation.Baptized Catholics are obliged to follow Canon Law on marriage.

I would imagine he is going to have to go through some counseling as to why he kept attempting those invalid marriages before a priest would agree to witness the marriage. He and his girlfriend may even have to go through marriage prep classes.


#14

I was wondering if he could do all this behind my back, because I very much so what my side to be heard.

ANd someone else asked if he was Catholic? He was baptized Catholic I believe, but not 100% certain, but I also know that he was baptized again when he was 20 in a Christian church that he was attending at the time. And both of our girls were baptized Catholic also.

I could care less if he remarries for a 3rd time, I just don’t think it is proper to be married in a Catholic Ceremony. There are other churchs that marry divorced people. I was remarried in a Christian Church.


#15

no not entirely true
every effort must be made to locate both parties and for them to submit their own intervew, witnesses etc., the same due diligence in locating witnesses as would be exercised in any legal proceeding. Only if you failed or refused to respond could the tribunal proceed without your input. You apparently are on top of things, and if you feel your marriage was in fact invalid, may want to initiate proceedings yourself, precisely to make sure your side of the story is heard, and of course, so that if this proves to be the case, you are free to marry.

If he was indeed Catholic, and married you and wife #2 outside the Church, without regard to her marriage laws, neither of his first two marriages was valid, and he can prove that by presenting the necessary paperwork, without a formal annulment investigation.

As I said, there are simply to many factors to give an answer here, baptismal status of all parties involved, previous marriages of all parties involved etc. At the very least the priest preparing this unfortunate girl for marriage is obligated to make sure this man is capable of entering into a valid marriage and has proper intent, and would be quite justified in delaying the marriage until such evidence is presented, or refusing to marry them.

the status of your children is not affected. Illegitamacy is a legal, not church issue, and no state uses that term anymore, I think. If they have been baptized Catholic they are Catholic, and are bound by Catholic law, in marriage, sacraments and other issues, so deserve to be brought up and educated in that faith, so they understand those obligations.


#16

I care because one I may not be Catholic but I do hold marriage sacred. When we first married I thought that I would be married to that man for the rest of my life. Two, The girl that he is marrying has destroyed his relationship with his daughters all over a freaking catholic ceremony. She is the one insisting that she wants a catholic cermemony and my girls don’t want the marriage annulled because they want it on record that their parents were married and not something that can just be erased all so she can have a catholic ceremony.The one daughter won’t even speak to him because of this. If she loved their father as much as she says that she does then it wouldn’t matter where they got married so long as it didn’t interfere with his relationship with his girls.


#17

I’m sorry, but I think it’s improper and unChristian to vilify this lady for wanting to marry in the Catholic Church. As a Catholic she has a right to her beliefs and to marry in the Church. She can’t ‘make’ his previous marriages invalid, only the Church can decree if they were valid or not at the time of the ceremonies.

You should pray in thankfullness to God that this other lady wants to follow her beliefs and leave it up to the Church if this future marriage is possible or not. She seems to be doing her best to follow God.

Also, there is no need to tear families apart because of this. It’s really the ones that hold the grudge or taught to hold a grudge that are making it worse for themselves in the long run.


#18

She must love GOD above all others. God is our guidance and shows us how to truly love others in a divine way. She is showing her love towards this man in a manner that the Church is guiding her towards.

I don’t know this lady personally obviously, but I have not doubt she’s imperfect like the rest of us. But it speaks volumes to me that she is taking the time to follow this tough Church teaching.

It’s not up to you to say that it does or doesn’t matter regarding her beliefs. I really don’t think you should pass this philosophy on to your daughters because it will only cause contention and derision of a fellow Christian’s beliefs.

It really looks like to me from your last post that ‘without actually saying it’ you think that she’s being selfish for following her beleifs. If it comes across on an internet posting, are you sure you aren’t influencing your daughters to think in this way also?

How much time have you spent in prayer about your hard feelings regarding this?

Have you uplifted your daughters in realizing that he is their father no matter what happens?


#19

You hold marriage sacred? are you speaking about your first marriage? That makes no sense you are in your second marriage.
What does thinking when you first got married you would be married to him for the rest of your life have to do with anything?
Your not married to him any more.
What right do you have to sit in judgement of this woman because she wants to follow her religion and have a Catholic wedding?
And how is that destroying his relationship with his daughters?:confused:
This is not about your girls, this is about your ex husband’s girlfriend wanting to get married in her Church. ( which is her right to do).


#20

As evidenced by having more than one of them? Me thinks the pot is calling the kettle black.

I am sorry that it did not turn out that way.

Your children were baptized Catholic, but they need to study their religion more closely. They don’t know anything about the Catholic Church’s teaching on marriage as evidenced by this statement.

A decree of nullity does not “erase” a putative marriage and it has NO bearing on THEM.

That’s her problem.

Thers is something more important than your self-centered children. God.


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