Can failure to object to disrespectful words be grave matter?

I suffer from scrupules, so sorry if this is a stupid question (I ask here only because I won’t be able to make it to Confession for a while). This morning before Mass a friend messaged me a joke. The joke was based on a stereotype of certain kids in my school, which I wasn’t personally offended by but felt was disrespectful to them. I initially wrote back “haha” but cancelled it and neither agreed with the joke nor objected to it (I felt uncomfortable doing it over the internet). Could this be mortal sin?

Also, while unsure of the gravity of not objecting to the joke, I received Communion at Mass today, since I have read (but not been told by my Confessor, simply because it never came up) that people with scruples should consider themselves disposed to receive the Eucharist unless they are 100% positive they mortally sinned. Was this OK, or did I commit sacrilege?

Strangers on the internet can really not do much more than encourage you to seek the advice of your confessor to deal with your scruples in general. As I’m sure you have experienced, nothing posted here will give you lasting peace of mind. However in general, your understanding is correct here.


Praying for you, do you have a spiritual advisor?

To be mortal it must involve grave matter, full knowledge, full consent of will. At worst this would be venial - and you would be forgiven at Mass for venial sin. However, it is encouraged to confess even venial sins, just don’t beat yourself up over this!

Personally, in the future I would text back something along the lines of; “not funny” or even simpler, just a frown :frowning: Do this a few times and those types of jokes quit being sent to you fairly quickly. :slight_smile:

IMHO, you are “OK” no need to “run to Father” on your knees. Bring this situation up with your spiritual adviser.

I have a regular Confessor, but not a Spiritual Director as you must be at least 18 to have one in my Diocese.

Thanks for the prayers and advice all.

IMHO, that’s silly; so… parents, close family, God parents, Deacon, Pastor, If you attend a Catholic school the priest in charge there might be of help - hopefully one of these people can be a good sounding board for you. For that fact, your regular Confessor may have an idea about who to talk to, please pray about talking to him about this matter (spiritual advise that is :slight_smile: ).

Peace be With You.

I suggest you try to learn to relax when people say or do things that you believe is wrong ,
Because you on your own , you cannot change the world or other people mentality ,
You cannot change the way other people think, what one person believes is funny,
Another person finds inappropriate, many years ago, I owned a Hardware store,
And everyday I had sales reps come visit, some had a terrible sense of humour,
I still had to buy from those sales reps that I didn’t approve of,because they had the products I wanted at the price I was willing to pay, I was polite, listened to there jokes and when they left,I simply put the experience behind me, I moved on,I did not partake in there jokes, I just tried to stick with the business at hand , and away they went,
This is something you must try to develope,just close you mind to it, because if you tell them to there face that you don’t approve of there jokes,it could backfire and you become part of there jokes, the people that do this joking rubbish will move on with there life and it’s a good chance you might. Never see them again, concentrate on your own education,
And please the lord with your gifts of. Knowledge,

There are different ways that one can object to things that are said. If a distasteful joke is told, sometimes the best response is silence.

For the sake of clarity, you should ask your confessor about this situation, so that he can advise you directly about what to do regarding communion in the future. It’s one thing to read about it, but it’s better to have your own confessor directly instruct you.

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