I’ve all the “lovely” symptoms and syndromes that are part and parcel of the whole panic disorder package. It’s a totally irrational disorder, isn’t it? I know what it feels like to be scared of everything and I’m so sorry to hear when someone else has it. Anxiety can be a life-killer.
I’m agoraphobic to the point that I have often been confined to the top floor of my house. Going to the grocery store is sometimes unthinkable, though I can usually manage the bookstore or a craft store, as long as I’ve got someone “safe” with me.
The evil one has considered me one of his for so long and he was not happy to have me even acknowledge that Jesus Christ is indeed my Lord and Savior. I had some real trouble after my first confession, doubting the validity of my confession and even the validity of the absolution, which I believe in with my whole heart! The evil one does not like me spending so much time in prayer, so much time reading the lives of the saints, history of the church, the Catechism, etc.
But, he is easily frightened. I cross myself with holy water and kiss the feet of Christ, crucified when the evil one starts rattling the chains that used to bind me. St. Michael’s prayer and the Jesus prayer are often on my lips.
Think of Jesus walking beside you every step of the way. Ask Him to help you and be assured that He is helping you, even if you’re uncomfortable.
Don’t listen to those doubts and anxieties. We tend to obsess with them, but if you can instead just let them pass through your mind and observe them and then look to Jesus, the pain of those thoughts will flee.
It would be in someone’s best interests if you were to be denied the peace and joy of mass and confirmation and the other sacraments. Don’t give in, because it would certainly be in** your** best interests in to partake of them all! They could add so much to your life.
I will pray for you, fellow anxious person. We don’t have to let this thing beat us down and deprive us of anything.