Can I as a modern, well informed Catholic, morally purchase a Natural diamond engagement ring?


#1

Not really sure if this is the right place for this, but it involves Marriage so...

First a little information for those who aren't up to date on this stuff: The process of making diamonds in a lab has been more or less commericially mastered. We can do it repetitively and the Diamonds made in labs are actually of higher quality than those you would find in the earth. This is not the same thing as Cubic Zirconia or any of the other fake varieties of Diamonds available on the market, their chemical composition is exactly the same as real diamonds and the only way to tell the difference is with electron microscopes since the molecular structure of a synthetic diamond will have far less microsopic flaws than a natural one. Oh and synthetics are Cheaper than naturals by far.

Natural Diamonds on the other hand, mostly come from African slave labor, which often results in thousands of deaths per year (many of which are children), and the market supply is strictly controlled to artificially inflate the prices. On top of that many of the heads of the Company Debeers (The worlds largest diamon company) are not even allowed to set foot in many 1st world countries because of illegal practices they have been involved in.

So if I were considering asking a woman to marry me would I be morally obligated to purchase a synthetic diamond engagement ring (assumig of course that I would be following the tradition of using a diamond ring at all)?


#2

You raise a great point, seriously.

For what it's worth, I personally agree with you.

Women, however, might think otherwise. :p


#3

If you want to purchase a natural diamond and do not feel comfortable buying an African diamond, you can buy Canadian . Or you can purchase those that are from a company/country that certify via the Kimberly Process. .


#4

I wouldn't be able to look at one of these in good conscience. :mad:

ihscslnews.org/view_article.php?id=283


#5

You could buy an antique/estate diamond ring. Mine was purchased from an estate jeweler, who bought it at auction. It was mined over 60 years ago. Incidentally, it was appraised at more than twice what we paid. THey can be a good value, and they are not contributing to the diamond mining atrocities of today.


#6

Yes.


#7

The "rule" that a man must give a woman a diamond equal to 3 months of his salary is a relatively modern advertising message. If the marriage is valid with no ring (or a simple gold band) then you have your answer. Her opinion not withstanding, since she has the choice to marry you or say no.


#8

hrw.org/en/news/2009/06/26/zimbabwe-end-repression-marange-diamond-fields


#9

[quote="Rascalking, post:2, topic:222798"]
You raise a great point, seriously.

For what it's worth, I personally agree with you.

Women, however, might think otherwise. :p

[/quote]

I'm well aware that women might think otherwise, but the thing is I am starting to think that this sort of thing might be a deal breaker.

The Canadian diamond thing would be a good compromise on that though. I wasn't aware there was a way to know the difference when purchasing.


#10

I don’t really understand that “rule” at all. I don’t think I even know any women who wouldn’t be upset about their Fiancée spending that much money on a ring.


#11

[quote="PatrickSebast, post:10, topic:222798"]
I don't really understand that "rule" at all. I don't think I even know any women who wouldn't be upset about their Fiancée spending that much money on a ring.

[/quote]

Some of the happiest married couples I know spent about 50 bucks on the engagement ring.

Ignore that 3 month salary "rule". It's the diamond companies who usually start those things!


#12

[quote="Rascalking, post:11, topic:222798"]
Some of the happiest married couples I know spent about 50 bucks on the engagement ring.

Ignore that 3 month salary "rule". It's the diamond companies who usually start those things!

[/quote]

I have a diamond wedding band. (small diamonds). We decided to put a down payment on a house instead of me getting an engagement ring.

My son bought his bride-to-be a two carat diamond, and several months later the diamond fell out and was lost.

She replaced it with a zircon, and that was that. (They could have used the money spent on the two carat diamond to help fix up their "fixer-upper" house!


#13

We skipped the engagement ring too... granted my wedding band does have a 1/2 carat in there.

I did not know about such things at the time of purchase... I might have gone with a different stone... Probably an emerald... both of our birthstones!


#14

My 22 year old nephew just spent $6,000 on a ring for his girl friend!! What a way to start out, with credit card debt!

My ring didn't cost very much, but we picked it out together. We picked the stone and band and had it made. Nothing fancy, just a plain gold band with a small stone, but it's never been on anyone elses hand and that means more to me than how much it cost!

My wedding band was our wedding gift from my husbands parents! Dh's ring is his dad's wedding ring. My FIL stopped wearing it because of his work, so when we went to look for rings my MIL gave it to us to sell and use the money. It fit my DH, so he decided he would like to use it.


#15

[quote="happymommy, post:14, topic:222798"]
My 22 year old nephew just spent $6,000 on a ring for his girl friend!! What a way to start out, with credit card debt!

My ring didn't cost very much, but we picked it out together. We picked the stone and band and had it made. Nothing fancy, just a plain gold band with a small stone, but it's never been on anyone elses hand and that means more to me than how much it cost!

My wedding band was our wedding gift from my husbands parents! Dh's ring is his dad's wedding ring. My FIL stopped wearing it because of his work, so when we went to look for rings my MIL gave it to us to sell and use the money. It fit my DH, so he decided he would like to use it.

[/quote]

Yikes....he spent $6,000. on a ring and put it on a credit card? Someone should have sat down with him and shown him what that expensive ring will cost with all the interest on it!


#16

Ethical Origin Gemstones: brilliantearth.com/
They have natural and lab-created: brilliantearth.com/lab-created-diamonds/

Problem with lab created is that it is hard to find a colorless one.


#17

I really hate that new thing of spending a fortune on the ring & wedding & no prep for MARRIAGE! Infinitely harder than wedding planning and with more at stake than a getting the "right" hall. :rolleyes:

Off my soapbox, I noticed that you said that the ring may be a deal breaker with your fiancee. Are you saying SHE might dump YOU if you buy a synthetic ring? I hope not because that would be shallow enough to be a deal breaker for me lol!

Have you tried talking to her about blood diamonds? You dont have to talk about marriage but just inform her about how many natural diamonds come about & how sad it is. As an opener, you could rent the movie Blood diamonds tho it is not exactly a nice movie to watch.

Another idea, her birthstone.
When we married, if you took all the specs of diamonds from all 3 rings you could add up to a flek. A few years later my husband bought me a new set with my birthstone, which is the same as his.

Good luck with it. I say be honest, dont try & sneak one by her.


#18

My engagement ring is a diamond, though I've often wished it were instead Moissanite or White Sapphire. :shrug: So not every girl wants a diamond. :)


#19

I have thought about this in the past and decided that I can not in good conscience ever purchase a diamond mined by children.


#20

[quote="Dorothy, post:15, topic:222798"]
Yikes....he spent $6,000. on a ring and put it on a credit card? Someone should have sat down with him and shown him what that expensive ring will cost with all the interest on it!

[/quote]

I know. My brother tried to talk him out of it but he wouldn't listen. They are like this about everything. Only the best! I see a lot of "kids" his age doing the same thing. A guy my husband works with is in his early 20's and he and his girlfriend just bought their "dream" home. They can't afford it and complain about bills all the time, but they bought all brand new furniture and new cars too. No one wants to start out simply and work their way up anymore. We started out living with my parents so we could save up for our first house. We bought a little 2 bedroom house. Had a collection of furniture given to us by family ( still have a lot of it ). Drove used cars until a year ago. Our friends all started out in tiny apartments or trailers. I think we appreciate what we have more. Kids these days want it all and they want it now!

So I say, don't spend so much on a ring! It's not needed! If she loves you she won't care if you get her ring out of a cracker jack box!


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