I have been asked to stand for a friend of mine in her upcoming wedding, but I have some reservations about doing so. I have asked my Parish Priest as well as some reliable Catholic friends about this, and I have gotten conflicting advice. My situation is this:
I am a practicing Catholic, and my friend is also a Catholic and attends Mass, but she disagrees with many of the fundamental teachings of the Church (engages in premarital sex, supports homosexuality, etc). Her fiance is not Catholic himself (Anglican, I believe), and they have decided to be married in the Anglican Church. My friend has no plans of consulting her Parish Priest to receive a dispensation from proper form, and to further my concerns, her fiance was actually previously married and has not received an annulment (in fact, this is one of the reasons that she has decided to NOT marry in the Catholic Church as “it would be trickier”).
Now, I know that as her friend and a fellow Catholic, I need to talk to her about this and encourage her to go see her Priest to discuss all of the marriage issues… but in the event that she doesn’t do this, and her fiance doesn’t receive an annulment (and the marriage would hence be invalid), would I need to tell her that I couldn’t be a bridesmaid?
I am just struggling with the pull between acting in such a way that demonstrates support for a union that is invalid (and would therefore be sinful for her to be in) in order to maintain the friendship and hopefully be a good Catholic influence upon her in the future, versus refusing to demonstrate that support (since I believe the whole situation is wrong) and ultimately severing a friendship.