I was wondering about, where I stand when it comes to my morality and legibility to become a Catholic, the reason I wish to become a Catholic is improve my life and well, at least try and find some good in this decaying and corrupt world. As a child I was surrounded by religion, only as a child, I remember going to a few different churches with school, and singing hymns. But it meant nothing to me, I didn’t really understand it at all. Even when an old friend died of cancer, at her funeral I couldn’t bring myself to feel anything, because I felt like an atheist.
I discovered my first signs of God recently, when smoking cannabis. I know how that sounds, but I’ve been doing it for years and only this time, I felt something in my heart, that I can only describe as the feeling I got when I had a crush on girls, as a younger person only not as painful!! I lived a life of sins, with the exception of maintaining my virginity. I have been drunk many times, addicted to pornography, the lot. Only I understand I can be better than that, but lacked the strength or will, I believe I can find that strength with God.