I am so fearful of going to confession, that I haven’t been in years. I mean, truly fearful, that as the eyes of other parishoneeers see me, I may pass out. My heart is racing as I type this. We are a small community, where everyone knows everyone, yet I am not particularly comfortable with my pastor, especially to confess face to face.
I pray nightly that God will forgive me, but I feel I need to go to confession, somehow. I pray for strength, but week after week, [which has become year after year], something is holding me back.
Seems years ago, some churches offered pennitnetial services with absolution, [confession without the confesional]. Is that still done? Is it in accord with RC doctrine? I’ve thought about driving to another area, just for confession, and it embarrasses me to admit that. But since I haven’t done that, again, what is holding me back? Please help me get over this irrrational fear.