I’m new here so I hope I’m posting this in the correct place. I’m just in an ethical dilemma and would appreciate advice from others of my same faith (I’m Catholic). This may need a little (or a lot of) background to explain the situation so I apologize in advance for the long post:
A few months ago I met a girl and we clicked like I had never done with another girl before. I’m not necessarily saying this is the spouse God has for me, but I feel that for one reason or another God sent her at the perfect time when I was feeling very alone. I felt I could open up to her (we both shared our life stories with one another).
Our main issue was birth control. Though she is Christian bu non-Catholic (Lutheran), she knows I (and the Church) am against it. However, she says she needs to be on birth control because she has irregular cycles (apparently very irregular), but I don’t know how true this really is. She believes, since she was told by her doctor (when she started taking the pills 5 years ago) and through her own research that birth control is the only way. I mentioned NFP and she was even open to it but somewhere read that it’s not effective in women with irregular cycles.
About a month ago we spent a whole day discussing this (and other small issues) to try to discern what was the right thing to do. We both wanted to continue dating but knew we needed to resolve these differences or they would come up again eventually. She said she doesn’t want to be on birth control but is convinced that it is necessary for her to use it. However, she also mentioned that after she got married (regardless of with who) she would like to enjoy a few years only with her husband (aka no children).
I tried to discern what to do in the midst of all these details. I know non-Catholics are not obligated to follow Catholic beliefs but I wasn’t sure if it was morally acceptable to keep dating her under these circumstances. Not seeing a way to resolve our issues, I decided we should break up.
About a month after our breakup, I recognize that I still have feelings for her. My question is, did I really do the “right thing” and did I oversee any way in which our relationship could work out while still being morally acceptable and right under the Church’s eyes?
Thanks for any feedback