Can I get some opinions on this article?


#1

blogs.wsj.com/ideas-market/2011/02/14/the-secret-to-a-happy-marriage-do-the-dishes-put-out-don%E2%80%99t-talk-so-much/

What I really want addressed is point 1 which I quote here

  1. Talk less.

Well okay, talk all you want about your dreams, ambitions and Egypt’s future. But when it comes to nagging reminders about what your spouse still has to do after a long day working for the man—take out the recycling, walk the dog, write a thank-you letter, defrost the chicken, fix the stereo—keep a lid on it. Economists talk about “information processing costs,” or the costs incurred from processing, absorbing and filtering information. When information processing costs get too high, we tend to become paralyzed. Like when we get to the kitchen-cabinet department at IKEA, and we’re so overwhelmed that we decide to skip the whole thing and just have a plate of meatballs at the café then head home for a nap.

Overloading your spouse with what you consider to be perfectly valid information is a bad idea. One thing at a time, friends, and the most important thing first. Same rule applies when you’re arguing. Stick to the point—he didn’t call to say he was running late—and don’t tick off the long list of sins he’s committed since last Tuesday.


My take - it seems my wife gets very upset with me as I can't recall details about what she has conveyed to me.

Here is a perfect example. Several days ago she told me that I was to have some left over chicken, and the kids were to have leftovers. I think this was on the 14th. Today the kids asked me if they could have grilled cheese and soup for lunch and I said ok. My wife then returned home from an appointment and got upset that I did not recall this.

Now I of course feel terrible about this, but I feel that the problem isn't all my ability to have complete recall of everything she said, but rather her expectation for me to have perfect recall of everything she said.

Do other couples have this same problem?


#2

[quote="hilarycotter, post:1, topic:229504"]
I feel that the problem isn't all my ability to have complete recall of everything she said, but rather her expectation for me to have perfect recall of everything she said.

Do other couples have this same problem?

[/quote]

My husband and I both forget a lot of things we tell each other, even things that are kind of important! When it happens it's an honest mistake, so I don't think it's anything worth getting upset about.


#3

That bit in read gave me a belly laugh – it sounds way too familiar. My wife has always been bugged (and rightly so at times) that I can’t remember instructions from an earlier time. :shrug:


#4

Sometimes my wife will speak to me and I mean to listen but before I know it I am away with the fairies. It's only when she prompts me for a response that I'll realise I have been sitting there gormlelssly for the last ten minutes thinking about sport or something. :p .

...My long suffering wife


#5

Memo to nagging wives....talk less :D


#6

:) When my husband talks for hours about guns and cars I tend to wander in my thoughts. It's not that I'm not interested in knowing what he's into (I have a gun and a car, so it's pertinent information), he just rewords the same stuff sometimes and thinks it's still interesting. When I catch myself wandering I ask him a question about a word or two I did hear and it usually helps keep me on track with the(his) conversation. (We're backwards, I'm not the big talker in the family, and he'll admit it).


#7

For more fun and excitement, head on over to the "Back Fence" forum for a currently on-going thread on doing the dishes properly.:D

And since the Wall Street Journal appears to have stepped up to dispensing relationship advice, we shall now turn to Better Homes and Gardens for financial advice (after perusing all those great recipes in Sports Illustrated.) :shrug:


#8

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