Can Judaism and Christianity work in a relationship?


Hello all,

I am 21 years old and was raised Catholic. I still attend church on a periodic basis but now am in a bit of a religious crisis. This has caused me to turn more toward the Bible for guidance.

Until a few weeks ago, I was dating a wonderful young man who is 20 years old. He was raised Jewish (Conservative) yet has not practiced since high school. While he always felt the pressure to marry a Jewish woman, nonetheless we dated for 1 1/2 years. He first became my best friend and only later my boyfriend. We decided to “take a break” from our relationship primarily for religious reasons. He has told me that he still feels the pressure, almost from within himself (and less so from his Jewish parents), to marry inside his faith. He wants to “become more Jewish”: he feels the pull to remain in the tradition in which he was raised. We are remaining friends and still want to leave options open.

I respect his views on this topic. However, I still love him and cannot see why religion should get in the way. The more I read and learn about Judaism, the more I agree with it… and that it can work well with Christianity. Christians hold the Old Testament to be important. Cannot one follow the Old Testament laws as well as accept (at least some of) the New Testament?

The more I question him about this, the more I see that he has been told, as if through the Jewish religion, that Judaism and Christianity cannot work together.

I am very open to learning more about his religion. I often ask him about Judaism and am curious about attending synagogue with him on occasion, if he will return to practicing Judaism. Yet he seems almost closed to learning about Christianity. While he never has read the New Testament, he has been told by the organized religion of Judaism that Christ is not the Messiah. He has seen Christians who misrepresent the New Testament and thus skew his view to what true Christianity is about. He assumes without knowing the facts.

He has been reluctant to give the New Testament a chance, but he is making progress. In fact, he enjoys analyzing passages of the Old Testament with me. I am hoping we can have a Bible study and introduce him to the New Testament.

As much as people say that interfaith dating and marriage is impossible, I see it more as a rough road. I do not want to give up on this young man. I see much good and purity in him that I can’t just give up. We work well together as friends, had a chaste relationship, and compliment each other; we make each other better people.

Any advise? Can one be Jewish and Christian at the same time? How should I approach this?

Thank you!


I think any interfaith marriage would be challenging. I know of a couple, however, in which the wife is very Catholic and the husband is Jewish. They hve a very strong marriage, they know one another’s faith tradition inside and out, the children are being raised Catholic, the father attends mass with his family. I believe the family honors the father’s Jewish traditions as well, perhaps more as a cultural experience of their Jewish roots than out of belief in the Jewish faith.

I think this family is one of a kind in their ability to make this situation work, but it does work for them.


First, welcome. Good that you are turning to the most Catholic book on earth - the Bible! Keep learning your faith, and come back to the sacraments.

For the relationship - well, mixed relationships are very hard.

You might find some resources here:



Well, is Jesus God or not?

Catholicism teaches that he is.

Judaism teaches that he is not.

If you marry a Jewish man, what will you teach your children? Will you teach them Jesus is God, or that Jesus is not God?

Judaism and Catholicism are mutually exclusive religions when it comes to beliefs.

It is very unwise to try to found a marriage on different religions.


Can Judaism and Christianity work in a relationship?

I say its 75-25 NO.


98 percent of Jews have an extremely strained feeling about Christianity. You have to know this. They think of us as idolaters.

Does Christ Jesus matter to you?

The Jewish belief says He was a false messiah…

The man you are talking about takes his religion seriously… Thats good.
His gut feeling is healthy.
Where is yours?

You should really read the New Testament. Not for the wrong reasons… You should read it to understand God, your self, your up bringing and get some perspective in life. Ask Jesus to come be the Lord in your life.
And then pray for the young man.

Infatuation for a man should never be reason for you to want to give up the God who created you and the Messiah who saved you.
Look into Christ. You will never have peace outside of Him. Neither will your future children.

Some of my dearest friends are two people who used to be very in love. They would have been married if it were not for the fact that she was serious about her jewish faith and he was serious about his catholic faith. They agreed to part even though it was very painful. They put God first and man second and I respect the heck out of them for that. Today the young woman is married to a jewish man… and the catholic guy will get married to a Christian woman.

:slight_smile: I hope you really work on your relationship with the Triune God.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit