Can someone help me come up with a counterargument?

that a single parent raising their child gives scandal. because it will make it look like it’s not a big deal to have a child when you’re not married. I.e. to the child’s friends, other kids in the community etC…

I don’t really believe this but I still struggle with the concept of scandal so I can’t articulate myself very well on the subject.

can anyone provide other examples of scandal so that I understand it better? besides cohabitation, that’s the only example I’ve really gotten

There’s nothing wrong with a single parent raising a child.

There’s nothing morally wrong, if it wasn’t the parent’s choice.

But if it’s something that’s an intentional act, then there’s lots wrong with it.

So a single man or woman who wants a child or children should not be able to adopt? What is a lot wrong about that?

Why is the argument you’re trying to refute about “scandal”?

That’s not the best reason we can put forth for why single parent households aren’t good.

Best reason to avoid single parent households: in the history of human civilization, there has NEVER been a better way to produce happy, healthy, educated children than with this child’s mother and father, committed to each other for life, living in the same household and raising these children.

All other things being equal, what’s wrong with this is that it denies a child a chance to live in a household with a mother and a father.

A child should have a mother and a father.

Why is that such a hard thing to grasp?

I don’t see any scandal in a widowed raising a child. It’s best to not presume stuff on why there is a single parent raising a child. It’s nobody’s business and certainly not a scandal, in my personal opinion.

Which side? It would not be difficult to argue that we should assume the best about the single parent, who after all might have been abandoned or widowed through no fault of his or her own.

If there is a societal expectation that he or she should remarry, it might not be hard to argue against that as well.

I think we can all agree that the question** isn’t about an UNINTENTIONAL single parent household.
No one who is morally sane would ever fault someone for this.

The question that is being posed (or ought to be posed) is that of folks who CHOOSE to be a single parent household.

it’s not.

but people commit sins, and make mistakes

so every person who has had a baby out of wedlock absolutely has to give it up for adoption? even if they take responsibility now for the child they created?

I don’t believe the church has such a teaching

Sadly, there are lots of seemingly morally insane people who think I should not be raising children with my husband. :frowning:

I don’t know exactly what you mean by intentional single parent household.

repentance is a real thing, you know, even if a sin was committed

What, exactly, is your question then, angel?

Are you saying that the Church teaches something that you find to be contrary to how it actually should teach? :confused:

Oh, if you are a man and raising a child with another man, you’ve created a home with a disordered sensibility.

There’s no denying that.

And if you invested in some immoral way to achieve this child, that simply adds to the chaos.

why not?

Someone who says, “I don’t need a husband to raise a child. I want to be a mom, so I’m going to: 1) have in vitro or 2) get pregnant the usual way”.

Or “I don’t need a wife to raise a child. I want to be a dad, so I’m going to 1) have in vitro or 2) impregnate someone I’m not married to”.

repentance is a real thing, you know, even if a sin was committed

You are correct.

my question was about a proper response rooted in catholic teaching to this kind of scenario.

but you did not think I should have been asking about scandal, which I was

the church does not teach that it is immoral to keep a child even if it wasn’t unintentional

the parent in question could have repented and is trying to lead a better life.

that’s why I was asking if it was still automatically scandalous

Of course it’s not automatically scandalous.

Anyone who tells you it’s scandalous to keep a child that you conceived while unmarried is being…ridiculous.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit