Can someone lead me in the right direction?


#1

I’m new here and must give a little background before asking my question, so please bear with me…I’m married for 16 years and have two kids (son, 10; daughter, 16). Needless to say, I was raised Catholic but never really knew my religion. It was not until I had kids that I started learning more and actually got confirmed. I’m still in the learning process every day. So far, I’ve been doing the best I can learning on my own and have not exactly taught my kids everything there is to know. I’ve done my best teaching them morality and chastity based on how I was raised but I wasn’t exactly a perfect teenager, so I haven’t done the best.
Most recently my 16 year daughter is pregnant and now I’m going to be a grandma. Whenever I try and put a catholic spin on things to teach my children I sometimes get accused of trying to be a “holy roller” by my family…husbands and kids included at times. I feel I’m just trying to do what is right…a little late…but still trying. How do I find a good book to help me with parenting and now grandparenting when I am still learning things myself?? And how do I keep my marriage intact in the process?? I want to change and do what is right, but I don’t want to be a “holy roller”!
Anyone else face this challenge??


#2

When I had my reconversion and came home to the Holy Mother Church there were members of my family who told me I thought I was better than they are and that I thought I walked on water now.

I had to look very closely at how I was evangelizing. Was I being an attraction or was I promoting something to the point that other people were being turned off by my presentation?

I have begun to learn the wisdom of the words attributed to St. Francis - always preach the Gospel and sometimes use words.

In the ten years since I have come Home I have learned that my behavior, much more so than my speech, is what backs me up. However, I have had to say - at times - to family members “please do not say anything about the Holy Mother Church that is cruel or nasty. It hurts me, and I know that you love me and do not want to hurt someone you love”.


#3

I’m not in this position but I would like to say, that at this late date, your best bet would probably be to lead by example and not so many words. You’ve got some time with the 10 year old but your husband and oldest probably aren’t going to respond to well to unsolicited advice at this point. You can, however, become a good example and work on living a holy life. It’s amazing how attractive this can be. Then maybe they’ll approach you.

I’d also recommend prayer and fasting. These tools can work wonders with hardened hearts.

As far as books, I can’t think of one that tells you how to do it right when you’ve been doing it less than right. There are great books on the Faith here at Catholic Answers and you might also want to read a book on the life of St. Monica. She’d be the perfect saint for your situation.

Many prayers!


#4

I was also going to suggest praying to St. Monica. At the time of my conversion to the Catholic faith, my husband, a cradle Catholic, was against it. But I prayed, perservered and was confirmed. I took St. Monica’s name as my confirmation name. If you don’t know much about her, please look her story up:

newadvent.org/cathen/10482a.htm
catholic-forum.com/saints/saintm04.htm
catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=1

I also want you to know that you, your daughter, her baby and your family are all in my prayers.

God bless you all!

Trish


#5

Thank you. It is helpful to have a start and using actions more than words will probably be a great start~thanks again.


#6

Funny how anyone who tries to live a good, honest, decent, and prayerful life is labeled a holy roller.

When trying to tell them how to live a good life, don’t bring it up as a sin- rather bring it up as the right thing to do, to respect one’s self, to respect others and your neighbor, and to respect your parents and now grandparents. You are not a holy roller, you are trying to live a life with grace and dignity and doing your best to make decisions for yourself and your family that are respectful of each other and in their best interests. That’s called love - a true, deep, love of one another.

Go to mass, take your children, lead by example, and pray, pray, pray. Perhaps there are youth organizations that your son or daughter could join. I’ve been very thankful for making sure my kids hang around with kids that are like minded - i.e. go to church, respect their parents, involved in good organizations like scouting and youth clubs. Good luck , God Bless, and if they continue with the holy roller - than so be it. Better a holy roller than a lost lamb that the Good Shepherd may have trouble finding.


#7

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