Can this be a just cause for proceed to an annulement of my marriage


#1

I married my jewish husband a year ago. During all this year we have not proceed to the consummation of our marriage. We cannot agree how our children will be educated. My husband is deeply jewish and catholicism is very important in my life. Also, I don’t like very much the idea that my son will be circumcised. If I go to a canon court, I don’t know what I will present as a just cause for the annulement of my marriage. My husband doesn’t want an annulation.

be nice!


#2

Hi Kailey35,

I’m so sorry to hear about your marriage troubles. I will be sure to pray for you and your husband. I urge you to strongly consider saving the marriage if at all possible.

You’re best served discussing this with your local pastor. Annulment cases are very tricky and you really don’t know for sure until you go through them.

If I recall correctly, by canon law if your marriage has not been consummated, then the marriage remains a dissoluble bond. So I think there’s a reasonable chance of annulment there. But again, I’m not an expert.

I’m very sorry to hear about your current situation and I hope you and your husband are able to work things out. Marriage is a wonderful sacrament of self-gift.

Peace and God bless!


#3

You are very kind Smichhertz, but don’t do that. Let me see how this evolves


#4

[LIST=1]
*]Was your marriage in, or approved by, the Church?

*]Did you discuss this issue before marriage?

*]Did your husband know that you were required to do everything in your power to raise your children Catholic?.
[/LIST]


#5

Without a prior dispensation from the bishop, a marriage between you and an unbaptized Jew is invalid - hence you can have the putative marriage declared null.

If you were not baptized before, and are now baptized, then that’s a different question, but honestly I think you need to speak to a priest about this.

I’ll say a Hail Mary for you, by the way
Benedicat Deus,
Latinitas


#6

Don’t pray for me nor my “marriage” I prefer to see how this are before doing that.


#7

Why on earth should we not pray for your and for your marriage - we would only be asking God to guide you in His path so that His will may be done - whatever it may be.


#8

I believe the reasons for prayers “for the marriage” are because until given evidence to the contrary the Church assumes a legally binding marriage to be valid. Even marriages contracted without the proper permissions and/or dispensations from the Church are respected as civil contracts.

Even if there is good evidence to suggest your marriage is not valid in the eyes of the Church, there are still plenty of of emotional and legal matters that you, your husband, and both of your families have to address.

Perhaps the statements should be something like, “Prayers for your marriage situation,” or “Prayers for guidance.” I cannot fathom a situation where prayers are not warranted, even if those praying don’t know exactly what they should be, “praying for.”


#9

Is your husband an Orthodox or Conservative Jew? If so, I thought they considered a person to be Jewish who had a Jewish mother. That would mean your children would be considered non-Jewish by them, unless they converted.

I know that other forms of Judaism view this differently.

I will pray that God’s will be done–which is how any Catholic would pray. God bless you.


#10

If you married outside the Church (i.e., without dispensation to an unbaptized person) then the marriage is already invalid and an annulment could be quickly and easily obtained.

Otherwise, there may be some leeway to seek an annulment since the marriage is not consummated, but consult your pastor / a canon lawyer.


#11

I’m curious. How do you prove a marriage has not been consummated? No children is not necessarily a sign that consummation has not taken place.


#12

These are issues that should have come up in marriage preparation. Having children, how they will be raised and what Faith they are to be raised in are major factors to have discussed prior to getting married. You should discuss this with you Pastor and see what he says.

The lack of consummating your marriage may be grounds, but I am not an expert on this. Just my thought. Had I married that would have been a big deal to me, as I wanted children and I would certainly want them raised as Catholic.


#13

The OP has not said whether the marriage was Catholic – either took place in the Church with the appropriate permissions to marry a non-Christian or took place with a non-Catholic witness but with permission. If not, there may be no valid marriage to even be considered.

The OP has also not said if she and her husband are legally divorced. If the legal marriage is in place the Church won’t consider a declaration of nullity.

The OP should probably talk with her pastor for both personal counseling and information.


#14

While that is true in the US (I believe it is for legal reasons), I’m not sure that it is true universally in the Church.

Absolutely. We can spend days and dozens of posts trying to get the information necessary to provide useful help, but it would still be a guess on our part. Or the OP could spend 15 minutes with her pastor and get a much better answer.

–Jen


#15

You need to make an appointment with a priest to discuss your marriage situation. He will be in the best position to advise you.


#16

Precisely! This is the reason that lack of consummation isn’t typically used as grounds for annulment. It’s not just “I say that we haven’t consummated” and that’s that. For a marriage to be dissolved on the grounds of lack of consummation, there would have to be some evidence offered, since the Church would assume that where there is cohabitation in marriage, there has been consummation.

Of course, the question of why they haven’t, is itself a very relevant question. Has one or the other spouse refused, or both? For what reason? In any case, Kailey, you’ve received some good advice here: take your questions to your parish priest, and ask for help sorting them out!


#17

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