I have a problem, a few months ago we had a huge book festival in our country. I went there with my school and, if I remember correctly, I can’t garuantee that I do, my dad gave me ~$30 and my mom gave me ~$40 so I can buy some books. Only mom asked me to give back some money to her if something is lefr.
I wanted a new phone at the time and, because my dad didn’t tell me to give any money back to him, I kept it for my new phone, but I brought it with me to the Festival in case of an emergency.
When I came home, I’ve spent all my moms money she gave me, but not dad’s. I told her that I’ve spent it all on books, which I did, and we just laughed it off. My question is should have I given her the money my dad gave to me and because I didn’t, is that considered a venialor .ortal sin of theft?
Thank you so much for your answers!
Why don’t you just be honest with your parents/father instead of asking random internet folks??? The 4th Commandment is real too!
@kapp19 Kapp19 because everyone has the right to ask questions, there is a thing called confusion, you know, and everyone has the right on it. It would be pretty dumb if I just told them, hey, I stole from you once, they would look at me as if I’m carzy. I told my mum I’d give her the money when I can, but she told me I don’t have to, and also told me to stop feeling guilty about it.
I just want to know if I stole from her because I’ve had the money ny dad gave me and I didn’t give that to her.
You are clearly trying to do the right thing. But if you don’t already see the money as yours then the advice you should be seeking is from the person that it might belong to. The issue is not whether you are stealing, the issue is first who has ownership - only once that’s determined can we talk about stealing. You have to evaluate that based on your relationship with the donor/lender, how he treats money, and then use practical wisdom… or, more simply, just go ask if he wants it back. I think you should do that. Why avoid the question? If you really want a real answer, which didn’t come intuitively, you should be honest and respectful and not be afraid of giving money back.
Thank you🙂, I asked her yesterday and she told me she didn’t want it back. But even then I was concerned if I had committed theft. I don’t know how to get rid of those thoughts because she told me she didn’t want the money back.
If you told you mother and she said keep the money, then you[re home free. Just remember from now on, if any situation like that comes up, tell the person involved at once.
Also your profile says you’re Catholic so the Sacrament of Confession is an option. Ask your priest in confession.
If he says you sinned, then he’ll absolve you. If he says you didn’t sin, then trust his word.
You should make a firm act of humility and contrition before your friend Jesus Christ, Who loves you enough to die for you, by admitting to Him and to yourself that you’re not perfect and that you are not going to be for a while, but that you are sorry for your sins because they offend Him and that you want to do better and better with His ongoing help. It’s a good idea to do this every day anyway.
You can mention your situation in your next confession but you probably shouldn’t feel compelled… if this kind of thought cycle is normal for you, then you should probably refrain from bringing up anything you are not absolutely sure is mortal sin except at a regularly scheduled confession, say once a month.
Also, for what it’s worth, finances of married people should generally be seen as a whole unit, not as his money vs. her money. It’s “their“ money.
All the above about talking to Jesus and mentioning this in confession is good advice. Your priest can give you advice on what you should have done and Gods grace can strengthen you to do it next time Clearing the air with your mom was a good act. You can do something nice for her and your dad to make up for the initial act if you like preferably something they don’t know is you so as to be humble though that may be difficult in a family situation especially in lockdown. But it could suffice just not to tell them its for that reason, just do something nice for no reason not cos you feel guilty. If you can’t think of anything ask God to provide something. God bless
When she said “if something is left” did she mean of the ~$40 intended for books only or did it include the other ~$30 also?
She ment only what she gave me because dad said I don’t have to give those $30 back to him.
Then how can there be any deception or theft with your mother?
@Vico I was diagnosed with OCD a few years ago and I have intrusive thoughts aboit my faith and my sins. In a state of panic I don’t know how to think straight and this has been bothering me for a few days now. I was in a state of panic because I wasn’t sure if I could recieve communion. It has happened to me before that during confession the priest told me I had nothing to confess and that I had been panicking. I just wanted some clarification because I wasn’t confident enough in my judgement. Still thank you very much for your effort.
Everyone, thank you for your help, God bless you.
There it is. I thought that might be it. It sounded rather textbook.
Would recommend the discipline I noted above (regularly scheduled confessions, only breaking the schedule when you are absolutely sure you’ve committed a mortal sin - as in, you could bring yourself to take an oath from your level of confidence)… I would also recommend reading the works of St. Francis de Sales (try his letters - “Thy Will Be Done” is an anthology worth the buy)… Some of St. Alphonsus could also be good. Look around. PM me for more recommendations if you’d like.
But I would recommend - strongly - against asking people online to help calm you down. It will perpetuate the cycle. Retraining the brain and soul is what is best… A bit of learning can help, but it will not fix your problem.
@kapp19 thank you very much for your advice🙂
You seem concerned with the small lie to your mother, but you don’t seem concerned about the big lie that you told your father since he gave you the money with the understanding that you were buying books (and not a phone).
Extrapolate your situation to a more serious adult situation. Imagine working as an adult in a company with big $$$. An employee receives $ for one purpose, but uses it for another personal purpose. Simple apologies won’t work. The employee would be terminated and possibly arrested.
The OP does not need brain cocaine for his or her scruples… quite the opposite. The OP shouldn’t imagine anything other than that there is a better way to think about relating with Christ. Your analogy is also fallacious - as if the parent-child relationship is the same as employer-employee. Just let the OP be.
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