Can you say one good thing about Natural Family Planning?


#1

Think of all the couples who are frustrated *with artificial birth control. Deep down, they will *never be at peace with it, because it goes against the very way God made us.
Now, can you think of a benefit of using Natural Family Planning in your own marriage? If so, visit our Chicago NFP Facebook page and let us know. Tell your friends to come to our Facebook page, since we'd like to spread the word about NFP.
We'd love to hear from you.
And tell others about Natural Family Planning!
(Chicago Chapter of the Couple to Couple League)


#2

I am not married, nor have I kids but I was fortunate to attend a seminar on families and reproductive health where a christian shared her natural planning experience and I was just impressed by how much women and men gain by using the method of natural planning.

What i noted from the testimony is that **It works **well if both man and woman understand the concept and respect the church teachings on the topic.I wish I had a full picture of this lady who is now in her 50's and looks 40's.

I remember the priest quote"** If one's husband cannot abstain from his wife**,therefore he cannot abstain from other women" , i.e. therefore he will not be faithful.


#3

I think I remember reading that the divorce rate among couples that used NFP was under 1%.


#4

I'll post here ... We started our marriage when we were cohabiting (which we did for two years previous). My husband was really skeptical about the whole no-birth-control thing, and I mostly was willing to just go along with it. I also swore that I did not want biological children.
We are now about to celebrate our 4 wedding anniversary - 4 years of NFP. We have one biological son and another baby on the way. We are now the ones everyone asks about NFP. We both have a much deeper understanding of Catholic sexuality and openness to life. God has blessed us so abundantly. If we had chosen to contracept, neither of our children would exist.
Both were planned, by the way - and we knew right away! NFP makes finding your due date easy!


#5

I’ve got one!

Nothing good is easy. :wink:


#6

When we contracepted, we enjoyed lots of time spent having sex. Now I have free time every day or every other day to spend on the lawn. That's a good thing, right?


#7

[quote="KevinBanet, post:1, topic:242332"]
NFP Teaching Couple Steve and Kathleen Ballard, of Palatine, IL
[LEFT]http://www.naturalfamilyplanningchicago.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/tc-ballard-steve-and-kathleen-2.jpg[/LEFT]**Think of all the couples who are frustrated *with artificial birth control. Deep down, they will *never be at peace with it, because it goes against the very way God made us.
Now, can you think of a benefit of using Natural Family Planning in your own marriage? If so, visit our Chicago NFP Facebook page and let us know. Tell your friends to come to our Facebook page, since we'd like to spread the word about NFP.
We'd love to hear from you.
And tell others about Natural Family Planning!
(Chicago Chapter of the Couple to Couple League)

[/quote]

bold part my emphasis

That is the main problem I have with this NFP craze. Until NFP users can stop thinking of NFP as the only alternative to ABC, we will have problems. ABC and NFP are not required for marriage, and ABC is of course wrong, however, without sufficient reason, NFP is wrong as well.

Even to space children, you must have grave (just, serious) reasons to use NFP. It is not permitted as a default state from the getgo without serious reason, so unless you think that every single Catholic couple in the world has serious reasons to NOT have kids from the start of their marriage, then NFP is obviously not acceptable for all Catholic couples.

Okay?


#8

I can say one good thing about NFP numerous times!

It's free. It works. It has no side effects, unlike ABC. It protects the celebration of marriage from degenerating into a mere "booty call."


#9

I don't know... can I say a couple of bad things?
I've used NFP to "space" my six children (I've had about one every two years), I've found that it's often inconvenient, that it's designed for a kind of person who is really organized and good at things like record-keeping and monitoring and other rigid-thinking type tasks (that would not be me), that the "monthly honeymoon" comes at a point in my cycle when I've just stopped being interested in making love, that it's stressful, that it leads to marital discord during the fertile part of the month, and that in general it's a trial. (Whoever made the comment about having more time to spend on the lawn -- you have my sympathy.) I would also note that in general, I've found there are a lot of Catholic women who gush about how great NFP is, and how it makes their husbands respect their fertility so much more, and how natural it is, and a lot of Catholic husbands who gripe about it with their male friends down the pub. I would also point out that a large percentage of Catholic couples who are trying to practice NFP secretly "cheat" -- that is, they either use contraception or engage in "alternative" forms of sexuality during the fertile period.
Now, all of that said, I'm not pro-contraception, and I'll probably use NFP as soon as I'm fertile again (I just had a baby two days ago, so it's not an issue yet), but I do think that it's a serious mistake to present NFP as though it was this really great, fun thing to do, when in fact it's a serious Cross for most couples who do use it. The "NFP is so wonderful!" hype is largely dishonest, and it is contrary to the gravity with which a decision to use NFP ought to be made: it's not Catholic contraception, and it should only be used in cases where there is actually serious reason not to have children. It's a manifestation of sexual responsibility and it's not any more fun than any of the other forms of self-control and self-denial that Catholic sexual teachings demands of us. Sometimes it's necessary, and when it's necessary, it's Good, but it's the kind of Good that marches up Calvary and gets itself nailed to a post.


#10

It always strikes me that those who do not have really strong marriages may well give up on NFP.


#11

@melinda:

"a large percentage of couples cheat and contracept etc." - - how would you know this?

"NFP hype is largely dishonest" - - again, how would you support this conclusion? It seems to me that to say that you are saying that those who have found benefits in NFP are lying and intentionally misrepresenting NFP's practice.


#12

I must disagree with the statement made in the OP about how people who disagree with NFP will never be at peace with themselves and their marriage and that they're going against God. My wife and I had a miserable experience with NFP, disagree with it, don't use it, and our marriage is infinitely better in a myriad ways since we got out of it. I could list many reasons why but won't do so. I don't agree with the premise but I have nothing but good wishes for people who like it and think it's worthwhile. I don't but I am happy many do!


#13

God bless those on this forum and others who have the guts an b@lls to say what is on their mind and respond with honesty and truth. There is a lot of pier pressure to conform to what is taught and believed. When we stand up for our selves we are told we are selfish and unchristian. When we stand for ourselves and report directly to God we are renewed in faith and love with our Lord Jesus Christ.


#14

choose to love,

With regards to people cheating on NFP, obviously hard statistical data on this does not exist, however, I have encountered enough anecdotal evidence to feel confident that it is a fairly widespread problem.
With regards to “dishonesty,” I don’t mean that people are being deliberately dishonest in portraying their personal experiences. I think a lot of the people who really like NFP are people (especially women) who have been abused by artificial contraception. I am absolutely positive that NFP is better than the Pill, and that a lot of people have experienced real growth in their marriages by abandoning contraception in favour of fidelity to Church teaching. On the other hand, when this is the only perspective that is put forward in the literature, and especially the teaching of NFP, I think it is dishonest, because it involves cherry-picking the data in order to show only the advantages, while the disadvantages are glossed or ignored.
Basically, if you’re moving from a contraceptive marriage into a marriage that uses NFP, that’s a clear move in the right direction, and it will generally be spiritually rewarded. However, this is generally not the experience of people who are going from years and years of chaste preparation for marriage, to using NFP because their wife wants to “wait” before having children. Nor is it generally the experience of couples who decide to use it after having a baby every couple of years for the first years of their marriage. In general, complete openness to procreation is a lot more satisfying than either contraception or NFP, so if that’s where you’re coming from, NFP seems like a real trial. I would also note that if you look at the poll that’s been taken on this forum, you’ll notice that there’s a pretty clear 50/50 split in terms of whether people like it or hate it, and that the split tends to fall along male-female lines. From what I’ve seen, there are a lot of cases where the decision to use NFP gets handed down more or less unilaterally by the woman, often using dubious arguments based on Love and Responsibility/Theology of the Body (I think based on a misreading, or a misrepresentation of these texts, but that’s a can of worms). I think that a more honest presentation of the difficulties that NFP presents to men, and the legitimacy of those difficulties, would prevent a lot of the marital discord and dissatisfaction that so often arises.


#15

[quote="micahmike, post:6, topic:242332"]
When we contracepted, we enjoyed lots of time spent having sex. Now I have free time every day or every other day to spend on the lawn. That's a good thing, right?

[/quote]

Sometimes gardening is good for the soul.


#16

I can say lots of good things about Natural Family Planning.

One: I keep junk out of my system that just adds to my natural tendency toward hypochondria .

Two: It gives me the patience and the wisdom to accept, with charity and love, my current pregnancy, which caught us completely off guard.

Three: I have a husband who is much, Much, MUCH more attentive all the time, but in-particular during infertile times (when we are spacing, or postponing pregnancy for various grave reasons) than he was before.

Four: It has allowed us to concentrate on what we want out of our marriage and our lives together, and more importantly it's something we have to reevaluate and discuss on a monthly basis. It's always good to reevaluate what God is calling you to do. God maybe talking, but you have to listen.

Five: It gives me the knowledge needed to understand what my body is doing, and more importantly what it's supposed to be doing.

Six: It frustrates my lapsed-Catholic, secular-embracing friends who can't understand why ANYONE would WANT to have more than 1 child and stay-at-home and homeschool them, let alone having 5 gasp "the scandal" children. dripping with sarcasm

(I admit, #6 is not charitable and purely prideful and not really Catholic, but as a woeful sinner, I can't help but take just a tiny bit of gleeful joy in the fact that they can't understand why I'm happy, and are actually upset and even angry about it.)

Seven: It's pro-woman!

Anyway... you get the idea. Hope that helps.:D


#17

[quote="Melinda_Selmys, post:9, topic:242332"]
I would also point out that a large percentage of Catholic couples who are trying to practice NFP secretly "cheat" -- that is, they either use contraception or engage in "alternative" forms of sexuality during the fertile period.

[/quote]

Source?


#18

[quote="Melinda_Selmys, post:9, topic:242332"]
I would also note that in general, I've found there are a lot of Catholic women who gush about how great NFP is, and how it makes their husbands respect their fertility so much more, and how natural it is, and a lot of Catholic husbands who gripe about it with their male friends down the pub.

[/quote]

Most men could be with their wives everyday and not think that's often enough. ;) :rolleyes:

While challenging (we've been abstaining completely since the end of January :eek: ) it brings peace to me because I KNOW I'm following God's plan for married love, and that makes me happy, even when we have to abstain.


#19

:hug1:


#20

[quote="KevinBanet, post:1, topic:242332"]
NFP Teaching Couple Steve and Kathleen Ballard, of Palatine, IL
[LEFT]http://www.naturalfamilyplanningchicago.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/tc-ballard-steve-and-kathleen-2.jpg[/LEFT]

[/quote]

The above picture was posted erroneously. I didn't get permission from the couple pictured. Sorry for the confusion.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.