Cannot think of Godparent!


#1

My hubby and I are struggling with whom we would choose as our baby’s godparent once he/she is born. He and I are both converts, so we do not really have any close friends that are practicing Catholics. My family has some “Catholics”, but they are all fallen away or non-practicing. What do we do in this situation? We have people that we know in passing at church and are friendly with - but I guess nobody that we are close enough to approach with this intimate of a request. Is having a Godparent required at Baptism or mereley recommended?


#2

[quote=crobynb]My hubby and I are struggling with whom we would choose as our baby’s godparent once he/she is born. He and I are both converts, so we do not really have any close friends that are practicing Catholics. My family has some “Catholics”, but they are all fallen away or non-practicing. What do we do in this situation? We have people that we know in passing at church and are friendly with - but I guess nobody that we are close enough to approach with this intimate of a request. Is having a Godparent required at Baptism or mereley recommended?
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Required to have one- (most people have2)

You can have a “Christian Witness” as a 2nd, this would be an upstanding Christian who would support your child in their faith. So, if your family has good, devout (not someone looking to revert you back) Christians, who at least respect the Catholic faith, you can invite them to be a Witness. This is a good way to fulfill your duty to have a Godparent, but still keep family involved.

You could ask your pastor to be the Godparent…


#3

Christian Witness I can provide. I have many friends and family members that I believe would be a positive Christian influence and support the Catholic Faith as well.

The Godparent is where I am having trouble. Here is another thought. If I do find a suitable person - can that person be the Godparent for all of my (future) children too - if another can not be found down the road?

Oy - this is a tuffy! :frowning:


#4

I am in the same boat. My husband and I are in R.C.I.A. but no godparents since I am converting from lds and my husbie is an only child and his parents are dead. Choosing a Godparent is a big decision. Right now we are praying some one shows up before easter.


#5

We are struggling with this, too. We do know several married Catholic couples but some or all have one or two issues with the Church that basically disqualify them, or we feel they live too far away to be involved in our children’s lives. I have a number of single, practicing girlfriends and sisters, but…we don’t really know any men who are completely and thoroughly Catholic who live closeby. So, we may only end up with one Godparent.


#6

Maybe God is prompting you to become more involved with the people of your parish and to meet some new friends who are also raising Catholic families. Invite someone to dinner from your Church; join a Mom’s group if they have one; get involved in a parish activity where you’ll meet others; go to daily Mass and introduce yourself.

It’s important for you and your child that your family will have other Catholic friends for support and encouragement as you raise your family.


#7

[quote=crobynb]Christian Witness I can provide. I have many friends and family members that I believe would be a positive Christian influence and support the Catholic Faith as well.

The Godparent is where I am having trouble. Here is another thought. If I do find a suitable person - can that person be the Godparent for all of my (future) children too yes! you are not required to even look for another one if you like who you get! I have 4 kids, and my sil is godarent to 2, and my bil to 2. I spread the 2nd godparent among my family- although it seemed that whoever I chose (from my side)- always ended up “falling away” in one form or another… o well! - if another can not be found down the road?

Oy - this is a tuffy! :frowning:
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#8

[quote=crobynb]My hubby and I are struggling with whom we would choose as our baby’s godparent once he/she is born. He and I are both converts, so we do not really have any close friends that are practicing Catholics. My family has some “Catholics”, but they are all fallen away or non-practicing. What do we do in this situation? We have people that we know in passing at church and are friendly with - but I guess nobody that we are close enough to approach with this intimate of a request. Is having a Godparent required at Baptism or mereley recommended?
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Discuss it with your priest.

As far as Canon Law goes, it is not an absolute requirement. The canon states:

Can. 872 In so far as possible, a person being baptized is to be assigned a sponsor. In the case of an adult baptism, the sponsor’s role is to assist the person in Christian initiation. In the case of an infant baptism, the role is together with the parents to present the child for baptism, and to help it to live a Christian life befitting the baptized and faithfully to fulfill the duties inherent in baptism.


#9

I’m sure your parish is full of loving, Faithful people who would love to stand in as your child’s Godparent. What beter way to honor someone in your spiritual family than to choose one they can see every day or every weekend in Mass.

Once your child gets older these people will be living in your community with your children, helping you guide them into loving Faithful adults themselves. It’d be like having an extra set of “grandparents” or and extra “uncle and aunt” (depending on the age of the people you choose).

We have a community full of people who are ‘transplants’ and who are either very far away from relatives, or who are not sure who in the family to choose. There are several couples who act as sponsors for the Catholic children in our community.

Obviously those who are not yet settled in the community where they wish to raise their children, may not wish to do this.

Regardless, a person need not be a friend or relative to be an adequate Godparent.


#10

crobynb & Princess_Abby, I’m only a couple of hours away. I’d love to volunteer to be a Godparent.

Jodi, I don’t know where you live, but if it’s not too far from Chicago … I’ll volunteer to serve you too.

God Bless,

P.S. I’m seroius, I can think it’s a great way to serve God by helping Spiritually raise the next generation.


#11

I really feel for you. For our 1st child, there was nobody to choose from. We picked my husband’s cousin who lives 10 hours away. We were able to have my sister and her husband for #2 since they corrected their “situation”. For #3 we asked 3 different couples, 2 of which ended up not working out so it ended up being my husband’s aunt and uncle. For #4, we were at a loss again and my husband called a couple at church we barely knew and asked them. They accepted and we’ve since gotten to know them better. My advise, which I did w/ #4 (on the advise of the couple we ended up asking), is to pray about it. Pray the rosary every day for the intention of finding good godparents for your child. Don’t feel like you have to have known someone for years before you ask them. We’re glad we didn’t.

For #5 (have many months to go yet) we are finally not stressing out. A good friend converted recently and we’ve since became friends with another couple my husband met through K of C. The more involved you are at your parish, the more likely you are to meet someone who’s a faithful Catholic. Best wishes to you.


#12

We have two teenagers…and an 8 month old! With #1, we selected some very close friends. We are still friends, but the godmother, in particular, is in dissent on many issues. This, I greatly grieve. As if it’s not hard enough to raise a teenage daughter in this morally challenged world…I also have to “fear” what crazy ideas her own godmother might plant in her head! For #2, we selected another couple we were friends with. They are now divorced. When that happened a few years ago, my son asked, “Aren’t they supposed to be supporting ME in the faith? How can they do that if they aren’t even doing what the Church says?” For the baby, the selection was clear. We chose from couples who actually were HAPPY for us. (I was 41 and my husband was 48 when baby was born.) So sadly, the selection came down to only a handful of potential candidates. We settled on a wonderful family with 8 kids, who were thrilled to be asked. We knew them a little before, but look forward to many years of forging a stronger relationship with them.

Kathy


#13

[quote=Jodi]I am in the same boat. My husband and I are in R.C.I.A. but no godparents since I am converting from lds and my husbie is an only child and his parents are dead. Choosing a Godparent is a big decision. Right now we are praying some one shows up before easter.
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Who are your sponsors going to be, or who were they? Why not them?

This does not need to be someone who is going to be able to make it for your child’s wedding or who will cough up gifts at birthdays and first communion. It should be someone you can rely on to help raise them as good Catholics. Perhaps your RCIA team has some likely candidates.


#14

Oh thank you everyone for such thoughtful responses! I cannot tell you all how comforting it is to know that here are a group of people who actually care! So refreshing.

You all have given me many great ideas and thoughts to mull over. I realize prayer will be the greatest aid in discerning an appropriate candidate. I know it will turn out in the end, but I still have a little apprehension now. Pre-parenting jitters maybe? - after all this is my first time . . . uhhh I am so scared! :o

And Dhgray-Davis - Sure! :smiley: Come on over for some hot cocoa and cinnamon (I can never spell that right) toast and we will have a good talk about it! You can come to church with me and hubby while you are visiting! We will have Princess Abby come too and make a party of it.


#15

lol!!

I told my husband about how cute DHGray is and how thoughtful he is to offer. My husband looked a little disconcerted for a moment, and was like…what do you think your dad OR your godfather would say about having met our baby’s godparent off the internet???

So we had a good laugh about that. My godfather is a District Attorney and prosecuted a huge case a few years ago about an internet guy luring girls to his home…lol.

Anyway DHGray, we might consider that, though we’re okay with just having one, too. Thank you very much for the offer and when I reminded my hubby that you and I have chatted quite a bit before about CFC, he felt a little better. Until then, though, he was like, "I thought the pregnancy hormones were messing up your judgement and maybe you were actively looking for godparents on the computer!’ sooooooooooooooo funny. :slight_smile:


#16

Princess Abby -

Too funny! I did not tell my hubby yet. I know when he gets home and I do tell him he will give me that look with one eyebrow raised and do the “Doctor Evil” Rrrriiiigggghhhhhttttt . . . okay . . . - he is so silly.

Goodness if I do not find someone, I may have to take DHGRAY up on his offer. :frowning: It is so difficult - because we are not supposed to be judgemental to others, but how can I justify making a mediocre or unorthodox “Catholic” a mentor for my child? :confused: If I do not agree with how they live - I cannot in good conscience put them in a influential position to my child’s religious upbringing. There are enough distractions and negative things already to combat - this should not be an area of struggle but one of support. It is not about the gifts or special events - this is about the most important thing - God and how to best serve Him. Well, there is much prayer to be done. That is for sure.

I wish the rest of you the best of luck in finding your potential Godparents! May the Lord bless us all with great witnesses to Him!


#17

[quote=crobynb]Princess Abby -

Too funny! I did not tell my hubby yet. I know when he gets home and I do tell him he will give me that look with one eyebrow raised and do the “Doctor Evil” Rrrriiiigggghhhhhttttt . . . okay . . . - he is so silly.

Goodness if I do not find someone, I may have to take DHGRAY up on his offer. :frowning: It is so difficult - because we are not supposed to be judgemental to others, but how can I justify making a mediocre or unorthodox “Catholic” a mentor for my child? :confused: If I do not agree with how they live - I cannot in good conscience put them in a influential position to my child’s religious upbringing. There are enough distractions and negative things already to combat - this should not be an area of struggle but one of support. It is not about the gifts or special events - this is about the most important thing - God and how to best serve Him. Well, there is much prayer to be done. That is for sure.

I wish the rest of you the best of luck in finding your potential Godparents! May the Lord bless us all with great witnesses to Him!
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I understand how you feel. My wife and I have reciently changed our wills because we felt the “custodians” we had selected (just in case) would not have upheld the teachings of the Church as we have raised our children.

Since I converted, the Church has become more important than I would have ever dreamed. Now I teach 2nd grade CCD, am an Eucharistic Minister, teach for the Couples for Christ and help guide the CFC-Singles for Christ. My oldest is a CCD aid and CFC-Youth member, the others are CFC-Kids members and the youngest is in St Mary’s Catholic School.

My brothers and sisters are all anti-Catholic evangelicals and the more they try to “Save me” the stronger my faith becomes.

Be strong in your faith and know you have a strong CATHOLIC family here.


#18

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