Can't figure out my feelings for this person

So I saw this girl at church some time ago, and ever since I saw her I can’t stop thinking about her. I think I might be in love with her. But there’s a problem:

She is a very beautiful person. Now I realize that there must have been times in her life when she may have made mistakes. I know that everyone makes mistakes in their life, but for some reason I find it hard to forgive her. I’m not perfect myself, I know, but I can’t bear the thought that the person I’m in love with might have given their mind and body to someone else by lusting after them. Also, because she is beautiful, I can’t bear the thought that other men might have lusted after her or sinned sexually against her, or found her to be sexually appealing. I don’t know why I’m having these feelings. I feel unable to forgive all these evil things. I want my future wife to have been a pure and faithful person who would never even dream of looking at another man. The thought of all these evil things makes me hurt so much inside.

Apparently, God protected Sarah from evil people. Now, I’m not a prophet but can I trust that God has also protected the person I love from these evil things? Or am I having these feelings because God doesn’t want me to be with her? Feel very confused. :frowning:

I would pray about this, pray to know God’s will.

God bless. +++

First off, you’ve only seen her and do not know her or what she values. Time to get acquainted with one another takes awhile. Please be patient. Talking first is a good way to determine if you have the right things in common. You might be surprised that over time your feelings increase or decrease. Do not rush to judgement. Feelings are not the best indicator on a good match.

Life is long and our most important relationship is with Jesus Christ. I know that can be difficult when your affections are drawn to that special someone.

If you are having difficulty forgiving, step back, take time, examine your conscience. When we can’t forgive ourselves we tend to be hard on everybody else too.

Be kind, take your time.

Have you actually had a conversation and tried to get to know this young lady or are you just imagining about her past without any real facts? If you insist that your future spouse has had no previous relationships and she has had other boyfriends, then she is obviously not the girl for you and you should keep looking. You are setting a pretty high standard and the right girl will not be easy to find. :blush:

Rocks,
You are living in your head and attracted to an imaginary person you have attached to an image. You are expecting someone to be more than human. If she’s beautiful than yes, other men will be attracted to her. Now and in the future. If you can’t deal with that-- stay away from beautiful women. If they have self-respect in their appearance and take care of themselves other men will be attracted to them for the same reason as you. She can’t help it, it’s not a fault, it’s a reality. Now, how she deals with the attention tells a lot about her character and is what is important.

As for you, don’t expect other human beings to be other than human. Until you can handle that concept, don’t get into a relationship. Other’s pasts are only relevant in how they determine how that person will live in the future. Do not hold pasts against others, observe their current behavior and demeanor. When you fall in love with a person you must accept both the positives and negatives; both their strengths and weaknesses; because the totality of a person is never 100% perfect. Our flaws are as much a part of us as anything else and without them we are not the same person.

Yes, you guys are absolutely right. I’ll forget about this girl. :slight_smile:

And I’ll beg the Lord to send me someone like St Rose, who even disfigured her face in order to be godly. :cool:

Just go talk to her, you never know what could happen. Like the others said, dont expect this person to be perfect and have some kind of fairy tale ending- think of it as meeting a new person that could change your whole life at the very best, or finding out that you should keep looking at the very least.

Plus girls love it when they are approached with confidence and a good smile. :cool:

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