my last thread: forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=990334
I don’t think much has changed for me since then.
I’m kind of drunk right now. And I get kind of reflective when I’ve drank a bit. So I might as well post here (y ah, if only it took my mind off it. Anyways… It really doesn’t happen that often…
Look… I just really envy the saints who ran away to monasteries. If I’m called to religious life, then who cares how I get there? Does it matter? I’m supposed to get a job at like a supermarket or somewhere to pay my lease for the next 6 months. I don’t want to. But I guess I moons of need to.(plz pray I get a job this month).
But, srsly, the very maximum of working a job is until July of this month for me.
I just want to run away to a monastery. I think I would thrive on religious life, or in a lay community. Does it prove anything for me to work a job like at Walmart just to pay rent?
I’m saying, I’m called to something different, a different path of life. What does it matter my ability to follow the society? To work a job and pay bills?
I’m gay. I don’t want to be alone and miserable. I just want t experience CatHolic community somewhere. Why can’t it be now, why do I hav to wait?
Chesterton and others in the Chirch spoke of ‘wage slavery’. I hate the world. I just want t serve the Church. I just want to be in A Catholic community somewhere.
Does Gos just want me to suffer?
Why can’t I follow the saints who ran to monasteries?
I really want to d that instead of just get a worthless job to pay the rent for 6 months.
This is the only thing holding me back. $525 monthly rent plus like $150 in utilities for 6 months. Can’t the Church pay that? Can’t insult serve like a year or 2 in prison for that?
I just want to do what I want to do.
Doesn’t God implant desires in our hearts?
I hav no desire to work a job like most ppl bc I will hav no family,
Can’t the Catholic Chirch just pay off my debts and send me to a community somewhere for the rest of my life?
I’m obviously very frustrated. I srsly hav no reason to live, no motivation, no hopes, no dreams, beyond living in Catholic community. I want to do that now. Plz pray for me.
I’m suffering great. I can’t fathom the loneliness for much longer. I want community. But hav a bloody lease to the world. ?again, srsly, if there were a a way out I would take it (i.e.; prison time) I just want to serve the Church
So many of the saints did and ran away to monasteries.
Why can’t I do thos?
The Chirch can pay for the rest ofmy lease…
God get me out of this plz.
I just want to serve ur Chuch . Let it Will be doneZ
God free me. God get me to where I long to be.