My father’s cousin, age 92 (my dad is 80), has advanced stage Alzheimer’s, and is under his and my care at an Alzheimer’s facility. I consider her my aunt. We’ve been caring for her since this past fall - we make health care decisions jointly, he visits with her, and I handle everything else. I’m also her court-appointed conservator. It’s hard for me to visit her as I have 2 & 4 yr old boys and live about 30 min away. I see her about once a month, my father visits her almost daily.
Her condition is worsening - the bad days are outnumbering the good ones, and she’s been falling quite a bit. I’m considering moving her into a skilled nursing facility with a palliative/hospice care unit. It’s beyond hard to see her this way - she was always a stubborn, brilliant, independent streak with bright auburn hair, and now she varies between lucid and in a total fog, depending on the day.
She signed a living will in her better days, so I know what her wishes are. She has a DNR too. But how do I know when it’s right to move her into hospice? I feel so helpless and sad and completely overwhelmed. I’m taking care of her, of my kids, of my husband and I’m not even sure I can take care of myself. I want to just curl up in a ball and hide.
I’m not sure what my question is, and I know this is rambling, but if you have any suggestions, please let me know.