Cash Wedding Gift


#1

Hi, everyone, it has been a while since my husband & have been to a wedding, & I need advice for an appropriate amount for a wedding check. Our very good friends' daughter is being married. I know these things can vary depending on the area you live in. We are in the Northeast & used to give about $200 when both my husband & I could attend a wedding. Any suggestions? Thanks!:confused:


#2

I think you should give what you feel is appropriate and what you can afford. My daughter was married 4 yrs. ago and we got checks from $25 to $500.

I DO NOT think you should follow the silly notion I've heard of which is giving the amount needed to cover the cost of the meal. That is ridiculous. You are a guest, you don't owe anything. Gifts are nice, but optional.

Have fun at the wedding.


#3

Hello, I’m in the North East as well, $200.00 is a nice gift for a couple to give at a wedding. Have fun!


#4

Agreed!


#5

Agree. $200 is a very nice gift.


#6

New England RULES!!! :winter::snowing:

And, I think that the bride and groom invite people to their wedding because they care about those people and want them to share in their special day. I think that any gift that you give is wonderful. If I was the bride, I would be grateful that you were able to be there and share in the celebration and any amount of money or gift would be greatly appreciated!! But, yes, $200 is a great gift. :slight_smile:


#7

[quote="newf, post:2, topic:250321"]
I DO NOT think you should follow the silly notion I've heard of which is giving the amount needed to cover the cost of the meal. That is ridiculous. You are a guest, you don't owe anything. Gifts are nice, but optional.

[/quote]

Yes and no.

I don't think it's exactly generous on the part of the guest to give a gift that is significantly less than the cost of the food they are going to consume. :shrug:

KG


#8

Not to stir up a ruckus, but isn’t the point of inviting people to your wedding and reception to share your special day with them. Not to have them “pay” for their reception meal with a gift?

Maybe you meant if someone has the financial means to give a large gift and they don’t?

I’m seeing it through eyes that would need to pay for a sitter and likely upgrade an outfit to be able to attend, let alone making sure my gift covered the cost of the dinner for my spouse and myself…:shrug:


#9

Oh, thanks so much to everyone for your timely help!! We hadn’t been to a wedding in quite a while, & I worried that I might be out of touch… Our area can be a bit wealthy, but we are not, so I was worried. That amount will be a strain this year, but now I can feel confident that it’s a great gift, though.

And I know what you mean, that a great gift doesn’t have to have a high price. Many times I’ve given gifts that had great sentiment, & my fave wedding gift is an embroidered print from my aunt. Thanks so much for helping indecisive-me!:o


#10

But unless you are close to the bride and groom, you don’t know how much they are paying for the venue and catering. Some people spend big $$$$ on their wedding, while others, like my DH and I, manage to stick with a very tight budget. We received money from $20 to $500 from our guests; the higher amounts were from closer relatives who could afford to give more, and some people didn’t even give any money. I’ve honestly never even once thought about the idea of giving enough money to cover your meal; the bride and groom should not overspend on their wedding and then expect guests to pay for what they could not afford. Just MHO. :shrug:


#11

There were many years where we were on a very tight budget. We also got invited to quite a few weddings, as many of our friends were getting married. So…the gift would often be a $20 check, simply because we could not afford more at that time. I have also gotten their wedding registry list and then purchased items they wanted at discount stores. So instead of the $100 blender from Macy’s, they may have gotten the $20 blender from Target. Gift receipt was included, so if they got duplicates, they could return it.

People should not go into debt simply to give a gift. Likewise, the wedding couple should be inviting the guests because they want the guests to BE THERE and celebrate with them, not for what they might get as gifts. If the couple looks poorly at someone simply because they may have given just a card or a small gift, then perhaps the couple needs to look at themselves and their motives for inviting people.


#12

Lol, I’m not saying that there is admission to a reception. But I do think that there should be generosity on both sides–the bride and groom should give a wedding they can afford and the guests should give what they can afford.

I guess I’ve just seem some guests take advantage of the “no gifts required” thing a little too much. :shrug:

KG


#13

$200 to $250 should be fine for a gift for a “very good friend’s daughter”.


#14

Where is the wedding? Is it in town? I went to a wedding 500 miles out of town yet 2 hours away from my parents. So I took my summer vacation around that time and went to see my parents. Not the most convnenient time for me or my parents. Then I had to rent a car to get to the wedding and my mom did not want me driving back late at night so she treated me to a motel room. I jumped through hoops just to get there so i was blatant and told the couple ‘I am going through a lot to be here so don’t expect a big gift’. They were understanding.

Then I knew a girl who was forever saying ‘At my wedding I found out which side of the family was cheap’. All I could think was thank God I will never have to attend your wedding, you sound like a spoiled brat.

If there people are indeed GOOD friends, they will not expect more than you can afford. Please ‘$200 would be a strain’. If they are good friends they will return the gift

CM


#15

[quote="kevinsgirl, post:7, topic:250321"]
.

I don't think it's exactly generous on the part of the guest to give a gift that is significantly less than the cost of the food they are going to consume. :shrug:

[/quote]

But how exactly would a guest know? Not like the per plate price is printed on the invitation!

A wedding is supposed to be a chance to share your special day with special people - not an opportunity to shake down the invitees. If I as a guest am expected to pay for my food at the reception, how come I don't get to pick out my favorite cake flavor instead of being stuck with the bride's choice?


#16

Flip it and think about the couple that planned the reception and the guests that would give cash gifts to cover their meals so they only invited people they thought could cover their expenses.

We have a relative on my husband’s side that is getting married next year, marrying into a very wealthy family. There is no way our traditional wedding gift, either cash or wedding registry, will meet the dinner cost. This relative is marrying way UP. But I know the bride would be horrified if she ever thought we were thinking we needed to cover the cost of our dinner.

And I’m also thinking about my own wedding and the gifts, the one I treasure the most, is a wedding crucific that cost maybe $15.00.


#17

[quote="Z1Z2, post:15, topic:250321"]
But how exactly would a guest know? Not like the per plate price is printed on the invitation!

A wedding is supposed to be a chance to share your special day with special people - not an opportunity to shake down the invitees. If I as a guest am expected to pay for my food at the reception, how come I don't get to pick out my favorite cake flavor instead of being stuck with the bride's choice?

[/quote]

I 1000% believe a gift is a gift. My brother and his wife know i went to great expense to attend their wedding and were amazed that i gave a $40 gift. At the same time my sil's cousin who her father adores came with his girlfriend and gave $20. It was very cheap and tacky...in my opinion he should of atleast given the cost of a night out. Not because my bro and Sil needed or deserved it, but because it seems socially proper and dosnt implicate a person is looking for a cheap way out.
My sil and bro LOVED the cookie mix basket my cousin made...and it probably cost less than $10. But it was time, effort and love.

So I guess it comes down to not $ or $ value but respect. For both married and guests.


#18

I’m from the UK and giving cash here would be very unusual - certainly in all the social circles I am aware of. When we were married I would have felt very embarassed if someone gave us cash (other than parents/grandparents who sometimes do, more as a gift to get you started in married life than as a wedding present as such)

Most items on wedding lists tend to be £20-£50 tops and you would not expect people to buy more than one - significantly less than the cost of the food etc.

Interesting that there is a cultural difference between US and UK.

G


#19

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