Catechist question


#1

i posted in the early summer bout my issues with th dre

am back instructing older children in sacramental preparation ----just started past wseek----class of 15–kids are great—here is problem—got screamed at over the microphone by dre for giving directions to a teen helper with new kids by at the beginning(was stopped by a new teen helper)–was told that was none of my business over the mike

end of class—gave list of students in my class to dre while walking out----dre put his face up to my face screaming that attendance was not my job—my job is to teach and not to spend all my time on attendance----he screamed about having 18 names on the list --“that is too many kids if your count is real”–i have a coteacher—my dtr–a certified catholic school teacher and a helper-----he was loud-red faced and did this in front of students and parents

i had over 21 kids in previous years and 25 yearly in previous church out of state–i prepared those kids for all 4 sacraments–here i need to only focus on 3

i will not tolerate this–what do i do next???

he is a long time catholic teacher in the diocese: i am old ,new to the church in last 3 yrs but a catechist of many years mad::sad_yes::gopray2:


#2

WOW! How can such a disrespectful person be in a position of authority? Sounds like a big bully to me. Of course, it's quite possible that he is stressed beyond endurance and that he's taking it out on his subordinates. Doesn't make it right but might explain it.

I'd make an appointment with the pastor and have a nice chat.


#3

[quote="Phemie, post:2, topic:299059"]
WOW! How can such a disrespectful person be in a position of authority? Sounds like a big bully to me. Of course, it's quite possible that he is stressed beyond endurance and that he's taking it out on his subordinates. Doesn't make it right but might explain it.

I'd make an appointment with the pastor and have a nice chat.

[/quote]

I agree. Also if you had someone who saw what happened I'd bring them along.


#4

Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me.

You will not tolerate it so put the keys etc. on his desk and wave goodbye. :D

I am sure that this is not the first time said director has acted in this way. Let him teach the class. It is not your problem.

Go to another parish and offer your services there. :thumbsup:


#5

[quote="aicirt, post:4, topic:299059"]
You will not tolerate it so put the keys etc. on his desk and wave goodbye. :D

I am sure that this is not the first time said director has acted in this way. Let him teach the class. It is not your problem.

[/quote]

But, this course of action doesn't solve the problem -- in fact, it pretty well ensures that the next set of teachers will experience it, too. Far better to talk with the pastor; even if the eventual decision is "I'm outta here!", it brings attention to the problem with someone who is responsible for it and who has the opportunity to correct the issue...


#6

[quote="Gorgias, post:5, topic:299059"]
But, this course of action doesn't solve the problem -- in fact, it pretty well ensures that the next set of teachers will experience it, too. Far better to talk with the pastor; even if the eventual decision is "I'm outta here!", it brings attention to the problem with someone who is responsible for it and who has the opportunity to correct the issue...

[/quote]

I'm sure the OP will address the issue with the pastor. The person in question is a long time teacher. The OP is new to this school. That is why I think the director has had this problem for a while.

As a catechist, I'm very well aware of the extra hours and my monetary donations put into this volunteer work. I enjoy it too but I will not tolerate someone blasting me over a mike nor will I tolerate that person in my face. As soon as the class ended, I would have been in the director's office.


#7

i do need to go somewhere with this---he and the pastor are very close as the dre has been with the school and parish over 30 years

my biggest dilemma is that 90 percent of my class tend to be hispanic--a group this person does not care for--even calling the kids cucarachas--and having fits about a bilingual mass
at last years holy communion

my italian catholic guilt wonders who will be nice to these kids and their families if i leave--i now have previous students bringing in family members to get sacraments too---most of the people in this area really,really resent the influx of hispanics here---ironic since their ancestors all came here from other countries--many of them without papers

i just am not sure who to talk to--his friend the pastor or someone in the diocesan hispanic ministry

btw---he has verbally degraded his assistant in front of the kids but she just excuses it and says that is how he is--not acceptable to me

sorry for the length


#8

Could you set up a meeting with him and the pastor? Even if they are friends, you could lay out your complaint humbly and most likely you´ll get a good response.
Seeing that the kids need YOU, because of the sensibility you talk about because of their backround, sounds to me you are needed there. Humility is how one reacts when humiliated… be strong, you know you have the Holy Spirit in you.
God Bless!


#9

I definitely think it’s time for a face-to-face with the pastor. While it’s still fresh on your mind, write a VERY detailed statement of everything that happened and make a list of everyone you can remember who was there and witnessed the incident.


#10

[quote="keepingfaith4, post:7, topic:299059"]
i do need to go somewhere with this---he and the pastor are very close as the dre has been with the school and parish over 30 years

my biggest dilemma is that 90 percent of my class tend to be hispanic--a group this person does not care for--even calling the kids cucarachas--and having fits about a bilingual mass
at last years holy communion

my italian catholic guilt wonders who will be nice to these kids and their families if i leave--i now have previous students bringing in family members to get sacraments too---most of the people in this area really,really resent the influx of hispanics here---ironic since their ancestors all came here from other countries--many of them without papers

i just am not sure who to talk to--his friend the pastor or someone in the diocesan hispanic ministry

btw---he has verbally degraded his assistant in front of the kids but she just excuses it and says that is how he is--not acceptable to me

sorry for the length

[/quote]

Don't mix apples and oranges. The director is a bully. He did this to you because he's gotten away with it with his assistant and who knows who else. There is no need to get anyone else's approval or validation. When you are assaulted, react. You go into his office, close the door and very nicely tell him that you are talking to him in private without causing him humiliation in front of anyone else the way he did that to you in front of the whole student body. Tell him you will not tolerate that behavior. Suggest that he not do it again unless he has someone else to take your class immediately because you will not be staying.

The Hispanic problem save for another day.


#11

I am an Asst DRE. His actions were way out of line. There is nothing about his job (nor his faith) that causes or calls for this behavior. He is further from God than most people will ever be.

It is not your job to correct this. Get out of there before you are tempted to act uncharitably.


#12

I would definitely speak with the pastor. No one should have to work with someone who treats them that badly. Lay out everything to the pastor, and tell him that you can't serve under those conditions. And if he won't do anything, you need to quit.


#13

Do you think he felt threatened? I've seen that in other teachers when I sub in their class and have issues with the kids that they usually have trouble with, or do something in a different way...and it works. I've much more education/experience than many of these ladies, and I have to be very careful how I tread. I'm a floater for personal reasons by request this semester. Either way, it doesn't excuse his behavior.

I would address it with him if you were comfortable doing so first. If you are not, or that goes no where, then I would address it with his superior, be that pastor or an RE director.


#14

Proverbs 25:21-22

21 If your enemy be hungry, give him food to eat, if he be thirsty, give him to drink;
22 For live coals you will heap on his head, and the LORD will vindicate you.


#15

[quote="Aggies08, post:13, topic:299059"]
Do you think he felt threatened? I've seen that in other teachers when I sub in their class and have issues with the kids that they usually have trouble with, or do something in a different way...and it works. I've much more education/experience than many of these ladies, and I have to be very careful how I tread. I'm a floater for personal reasons by request this semester. Either way, it doesn't excuse his behavior.

I would address it with him if you were comfortable doing so first. If you are not, or that goes no where, then I would address it with his superior, be that pastor or an RE director.

[/quote]

there is no way he was threatened--first time he went on the mic---to berate me while i was giving a new kid directions to the classroom---and the second time i was handing him my attendance list when i was leaving-----he has been bothered by the continual reaching out of hispanic families to my class and my being okay with attempting to speak to the non english family members in their language(prompting his make them learn english rant directed towards me last year in front of the kids)

speaking with him privately will just encourage him to get up in my face physically again----but talking to him with a third person there would help---i have also thought about speaking to the local priest in charge of the hispanic ministry
this dre is still angry about my asking for and getting the mass for the classes first holy communion to include a homily in spanish and one spanish communion song:hmmm::yyeess::twocents:


#16

This is a nasty situation. How did he/she get to be director? Should be ashamed of himself.


#17

No one has a right to speak to someone in that manner. If he had a concern over how you acted he should have taken you aside or asked you to see him at another time to discuss the matter. He was acting very unprofessional.


#18

[quote="Joannm, post:17, topic:299059"]
No one has a right to speak to someone in that manner. If he had a concern over how you acted he should have taken you aside or asked you to see him at another time to discuss the matter. He was acting very unprofessional.

[/quote]

again see my posts--i was simply doing what was asked this past sunday--giving directions to a room and handing a list--his mo is to carry on in front of everyone---apparently acceptable to others but not to me

this certainly is a poor way of representing my and the children's chosen religion imo


#19

[quote="keepingfaith4, post:18, topic:299059"]
again see my posts--i was simply doing what was asked this past sunday--giving directions to a room and handing a list--his mo is to carry on in front of everyone---apparently acceptable to others but not to me

this certainly is a poor way of representing my and the children's chosen religion imo

[/quote]

It might not be that it is really acceptable to others. They might just be intimidated by him so they don't say anything. You may find that if you come forward to the pastors others may follow suit.


#20

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