I am finding myself having very deep conversations with a friend who is a practicing Catholic. I think eventually his faith will win out but I am still finding myself unable to answer concretely some very baffling questions he poses. My initial gut reaction is always no, you can’t do that, but then why comes up and because doesn’t satisfy. Background he is Catholic she is 7th Day Adventist. My last conversation he told me he wouldn’t adopt from Catholic Charities because they would want him to raise a child Catholic. I told him no, he would raise a child Catholic because he is Catholic, that what his faith requires of him. He said his girlfriend, whom he is considering marrying would have a say in what religion the child was raised. I then told him that his vows in marriage state any child would be raised Catholic. He asked if he could still get married and raise any children both Catholic and 7th Day. I told him that would be wrong and pointed out that having no solid religous foundation would lead to trouble in later years, Our parish priest walked up, (this was after mass) and said it would lead to confusion in the child and pointed out he should have more talks with his girlfriend and counseling. Any ideas on how to answer counter these questions. He throws out Christian unity and I cannot know if other religions are right and Lord help me He even said the 7th Day church teaching is more solidly bible based. HELP! I don’t want to give up. He is a good friend.
SDA is strongly anti-Catholic.
Ask his fiancee about “the mark of the beast” (sunday worship) and general apostacy in the non-adventist Church. They are similar to Mormons in that they believe that the Gospel all but disappeared from the Earth because of “traditions” and it wasn’t restored until “Jesus cleaned out the heavenly temple” (ask her about it) in the 1800s. Their religion is based on a quasi-prophet named Ellen White. You can probably google her and find out all kinds of loopy things she wrote and the history of the sect itself.
I’m not Catholic but I can see that mixed marriages can be difficult. Mixed marriage with SDA seems like it would be even tougher if she is serious (or gets serious) about her religion.
Ask her about “soul sleep” and the “144,000” too.
It would seem to me that this is a danger to his faith. His pastor should deny seeking permission for him to marry her from the Bishop because he is not fully grounded in the Catholic faith. He needs to get his hands on one of the “Answering” books There is Answering JW’s, Answering fundementalists, and I believe there is an Answering 7th day Adventists.
take it from someone who speaks from experience of marrying someone of a non-catholic faith, and who just celebrated their 26th anniversary…
don’t do it!
Had I to do it all over again I would have not started the first conversation…
but, if I turned the clock back and sat down and started that relationship I would be hooked as I am now… I love her with all my heart… but, we have advised our 4 children (who are Catholic)… marry within your faith…
It seems like a lot of people considering marriage across religions start looking for “the easy way out” – I think they are not objectively looking at the other religion but are trying to find a compromise that will make married life easier. There is no chance of a serious discussion unless the person is sincerely trying to resolve the conflict.
Your priest sounds approachable; if your friend sincerely wants a straight answer I think he should talk to his priest.
And I hate the “we’ll raise them in both religions” business. Raising children telling them two conflicting versions of the truth is telling then there is no truth.
[quote=Leisa]I am finding myself having very deep conversations with a friend who is a practicing Catholic. I think eventually his faith will win out but I am still finding myself unable to answer concretely some very baffling questions he poses. My initial gut reaction is always no, you can’t do that, but then why comes up and because doesn’t satisfy. Background he is Catholic she is 7th Day Adventist. My last conversation he told me he wouldn’t adopt from Catholic Charities because they would want him to raise a child Catholic. I told him no, he would raise a child Catholic because he is Catholic, that what his faith requires of him. He said his girlfriend, whom he is considering marrying would have a say in what religion the child was raised. I then told him that his vows in marriage state any child would be raised Catholic. He asked if he could still get married and raise any children both Catholic and 7th Day. I told him that would be wrong and pointed out that having no solid religous foundation would lead to trouble in later years, Our parish priest walked up, (this was after mass) and said it would lead to confusion in the child and pointed out he should have more talks with his girlfriend and counseling. Any ideas on how to answer counter these questions. He throws out Christian unity and I cannot know if other religions are right and Lord help me He even said the 7th Day church teaching is more solidly bible based. HELP! I don’t want to give up. He is a good friend.
Oh, this is sad to hear! To me he don’t seems ready to marry. SDA’s hates the Catholic Church. They say otherwise (they love us), but the truth is that they see the CHURCH as the beast in the revelation. Their primary aim** IS ** to save chatholics from our “devilchurch”.
Children brougt up in a marriage were mother beleive that father and all his catholic relatives will end up in hell, are in danger of mentally illness.
Ask your friend if he can imagine how he would have felt it if he were a child, loved both his parents, grandparents, ants, uncles and nieces and nephews on both sides, and suddenly “recognised” that half of his loved ones were going to hell? How split must such a child feel? It must feel like it stands in the middle of a battle, and that’s where such a child really stands.
May be your friend shold take a retreat? May be he shall consider not to marry a SDA?
Give him this link, so he can see himself. The best end to start in will be to read the stories from ex-SDA’s. Then he must learn the doctrines of the SDA’s.
Try the best you can! But if you don’t succseed it is not your fault! It IS difficult to talk scence to people who have fallen in love. (Love sometimes make blind and it hurts deeply the day one wakes up)!
I have prayed for you, Leisa!
**Trust , Love and Hope ** :angel1: :gopray2: :gopray: :getholy:
One more link. This is perhaps more easy to read:
I have been married to a Seventh day Adventist for 21 years. Perhaps I can give some significant input.
We dated for 3 1/2 years before we got married. There were numerous issues to work out that I felt needed to be worked out before marriage. I am a strong cradle Catholic. I took instruction in the SDA church so I would understand their beliefs. I read Ellen White’s The Great Controversy - my husband thought that would convert me - it did the opposite because I saw so many faults in the logic and the writing of the books. SDA posed no threat to my Catholic belief because there was so much falsity to it. However, I had to understand that my husband had no Catholic background and he actually believed the stuff! And so someone without my background the stuff does sound somewhat feasible. I let him know that if he could not accept my Catholocism then he could not accept me.
Before we married I told my husband that I was Catholic and would follow the Catholic faith to the best of my ability. I would raise the children Catholic. We would not use artificial contraception, etc on the Catholic issues. On the other hand I would not be opposed to his telling the children about his beliefs. (kids get info about all types of religions at school anyway and I felt confident enough in the Catholic Faith that I did not feel SDA to be a threat). I would also encourage him to follow his faith to his best. Example: SDA don’t eat pork - I could give that up for him.
When my children were born I immediately took them to the first Mass that was available. They were baptized as very small infants. I made it clear from the beginning that I was raising them Catholic. I sent them to parochial school when it was available. I have had home Catechism with the children since they were born. Beginning with teaching them the sign of the cross as soon as they were born. (And no it is not to soon and yes they do understand at an extremely young age) The kids can defend their faith and have no interest in SDA. We go to church every week. My husband does not attend. His conversion is up to the Holy Spirit, my role is to pray and live my faith.
I concentrate on the values that are common - and there are a lot. I concentrate on the good things about my husband. But I do not compromise my faith and he accepts that.
Would I do it over again? In a second. I love my husband and I hope that the way I lead my life has made him grow in his faith in God and live his life in a good moral way. People from the SDA church told him he as not living his life very well because if he was I would have converted to SDA. He is a good man but they don’t realize what it is to be Catholic.
We do not argue religion. I do not try to convert him and he does not try to convert me. I do have him fix my rosaries however. I respect his beliefs but do not agree with them However we both agree on living good moral lives. My children and I are much stronger in our faith because of him. We have to be -and I look at that as a good thing. I teach my children to question religion but to dig deep enough to get the real answers.
Hope that helps.
[font=Verdana]I have very good friends that are SDA. (I was protestant when I met them so they could befriend me. Now??? Also my friends are no more then “pew warmers” in their church too. ) We do not talk much religion since they are taught very anti-Catholic theology.:tsktsk: Not theology that is different from Catholics but theology that is directed at and to Catholicism as pure evil.
The SDA’s are one of the biggest anti-Catholic groups out there and are dedicated to it.:whacky: My friends do not say the things but when they have SDA friends over with us all I hear about is the “Whore of Babylon” and the “anti-Christ”.
So many links I did not give too!
They are devout anti-Catholics based on those I met and what I have read that their church puts out. Try to get the friend to see the truth. Start slowly and move on slowly towards his accepting the truth.
A marriage between these two faiths is going to have serious problems! One faith hates the other Faith! Think seriously before saying ‘YES’! [/font]
I was a Seventh-day Adventist when I married my wife who is Catholic. I studied to be a SDA minister and had a deep foundation in SDAdventism. I agreed to raise my two children in the Catholic Church and they turned out to be two of the finest young Christians I have ever known (perhaps I’m biased just a little…but they are good kids). It would be confusing to a child to raise him/her/them in both faiths…choose one and raise them in one. I must say that after 23 years of a spiritual struggle, much study, and much much prayer I am joining the Catholic Church this year. It’s a long story, but raise your children in one chruch or the other. Having been involved with both churches, my vote would be to raise the children Catholic. I hope this helps in a little way. God bless!!!
Regarding what the Church requires, here are the relevant canons:
Can. 1124 Without express permission of the competent authority, a marriage is prohibited between two baptized persons of whom one is baptized in the Catholic Church or received into it after baptism and has not defected from it by a formal act and the other of whom is enrolled in a Church or ecclesial community not in full communion with the Catholic Church.
Can. 1125 The local ordinary can grant a permission of this kind if there is a just and reasonable cause. He is not to grant it unless the following conditions have been fulfilled:
1/ the Catholic party is to declare that he or she is prepared to remove dangers of defecting from the faith and is to make a sincere promise to do all in his or her power so that all offspring are baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church;
2/ the other party is to be informed at an appropriate time about the promises which the Catholic party is to make, in such a way that it is certain that he or she is truly aware of the promise and obligation of the Catholic party;
3/ both parties are to be instructed about the purposes and essential properties of marriage which neither of the contracting parties is to exclude
Can. 1366 Parents or those who take the place of parents who hand over their children to be baptized or educated in a non Catholic religion are to be punished with a censure or other just penalty.
Thanks for that information 1ke! Now that I have read your post, I remember agreeing to raise our children Catholic. We were married in the Catholic Church 23 years ago and I now remember meeting with the priest disscussing this. There were times in our marriage that were difficult based on our differing beliefs (and while many beliefs are similar, the ones that are different are quite different), in addition to the normal difficulties of marriage. We both loved and love Jesus and He saw us through our difficulties. People often asked why a SDA and a Catholic would get married. Before this year I could not answer that question, but now looking back I see how God was leading me to the Catholic Church, but I could not see that future back in the past. God has blessed and it has worked out wonderfully, but I don’t think I would counsel young people toward interfaith marriages. The best advice I ever heard was only marry someone if you can live with the way they currently are for the rest of your life…don’t marry someone in expectation of them changing to the way you would like them to be. God Bless!!
I was born and raised SDA, and converted to Catholicism at the age of 31. Nine out of ten times, actually more like ninety-nine out of one hundred times, for an SDA to marry a Catholic is a really BIG mistake and I would caution against it. Far more often than not the Catholic stops being Catholic entirely or actually converts to being SDA.
Bad idea, Like oil and water. No Gasoline and matches!