Catholic and Baptist in relationship

Hey all. I am baptized Catholic from Czech Republic. I am single mother with little daughter. I met very nice and kind man who lives in USA. We got in love, I spent some time with him and we decide to live together. Beautiful happyend…but. My boyfriend (he is already really not a boy) is baptistic pastor with his church and members. He accepts my Faith and I accepts his. But he wants me to go to his church. That is okay, why not. He goes with me to my church too. Our Faithes are different in many things but we still deeply love one another. Problem is in education of my daughter. Catholics or Baptists? I believe we handle to it too. What do you think? Has our special relationship some future without convertion? Do you know similar paar and how does it work? Thank you for all your tips.

Living together AND he’s a Baptist pastor? Wow. There is a lot here at play. I know many interfaith couples where “it’s not a big deal” in the beginning, but it quickly becomes a big deal where children are involved. He may also be trying to be a “missionary” to you and coax you into leaving Catholicism for Baptist…hoping you’ll eventually be convinced. Sorry, if he’s a Baptist pastor and you two are living together, I’d have to wonder about a lot of things.

I suggest perhaps, make an appointment with your priest at the parish you are going to as soon as possible. That way he can give you some good advice.

In the meantime, you can count on my prayers, so that both you and your Baptist friend, through the help of the Holy Spirit, gain wisdom, discernment, piety, knowledge in your relationship, and truly know God’s will.

Lots of items of concern here.

Baptist pastor living with a Catholic woman? Do his church members know of and approve of this? I know of a few cases where the pastor/priest of a protestant church is married to a woman of a different protestant denomination. It is more difficult than when a couple is of different denominations. Churches have social events and expectations of the wife of the pastor. This is not always easy if you are not of that denomination.

BaraCzech, if you were to marry this Baptist pastor, you would have to promise to do your best to raise any children you two had as Catholics. But my concern is your daughter. Has she been baptised into the Catholic church? And even if she hasn’t yet, she is your daughter, not his. There should be no doubt about which religion she is raised in, Catholic only.

Truly, I do not see a future for a Catholic woman with a Baptist pastor, it would be difficult enough with a Baptist man.
Another concern is your status as an immigrant to the USA, but I don’t live there so have no idea of the laws that cover your living in the USA.

Kde bydlíš budete muset najít dobrý katolický kněz mluvit Zdravíčko

My head is all over the place with this one,
First of all as a Catholic you should not be living with anyone, I understand we all can have an accident and go to Confession, and amend and not to do this again but to go and live with another man to do the same thing is not being a practising Catholic, and also not very good with a Protestant Pastor who should also know better than to be having sex and living with someone, of course there is going to be problems if you thought things were going to go smooth you would not have raised the question on the Forum.

There have been other Catholic women who have married non Catholics and have clearly stated on the Forum all the problems they have, your religion should be something precious to you that you guard with your whole being after all your going to account for your actions to the Lord for them, as for thinking its correct to live with someone and have a child and now your living with this Pastor, you have not been taught the Commandments nor the basic Catechism of the Catholic Church.

Best bet for you is to talk to a Catholic Priest as soon as possible, make an appointment with Father and discuss all what you have written on the Forum. In the meantime please stop living with this man and read more about your faith and how you should be living your life in trying like us all to please God not ourselves.

My guess is that this Baptist pastor is very soon going to be an unemployed Baptist pastor if he is not already. Of course their are many people that call themselves Baptist that do not meet the requirements to be a real Baptist.

CandyCoco

If he is a nice guy and a good father to your daughter, I think it is wonderful that you found each other.

That said you need to ask yourself do you want to raise your daughter inside the baptist church as well as the Catholic church or not. Interdenominational marriages do work but they require some work and some education meaning you will need to educate your daughter regarding what both denominations teach and let her make her own decision when she becomes an adult. If you wish to marry to marry him, you will have to decide what church you want to him in. In order to qualify for a full Catholic mass, your boyfriend may have to convert. You will have to check with your local priest because every priest is different. If you decide to marry him the baptist church, there is a good chance that your marriage may not be 100% valid from the Catholic church perspective.

Your best bet is to speak with your priest and pray to God for guidance because this is a decision that requires time to make.

A Catholic is obliged to raise their children in the Catholic faith, or at the very least to do everything in their power to raise their children Catholic.

There are some inaccuracies here.

If you wish to marry to marry him, you will have to decide what church you want to him in.

A Catholic is obliged to marry in the Catholic church otherwise the marriage is invalid.

In order to qualify for a full Catholic mass, your boyfriend may have to convert.

It would be possible to have a full Catholic Mass, even if the groom is not Catholic, however it would be very strange as the bride would be able to receive the Eucharist, while her husband would not.

You will have to check with your local priest because every priest is different.

Yes, she will have to check with her local priest, but not because every priest is different, rather because there is some essential paperwork her priest will have to do in order to make the marriage of a Catholic to a Baptist valid, and particularly if the ceremony were to take place in the Baptist church.

If you decide to marry him the baptist church, there is a good chance that your marriage may not be 100% valid from the Catholic church perspective.

If she marries in the Baptist church without a ‘dispensation from form’ the marriage will not be valid in the Catholic church, and she will still be living in sin.

Your best bet is to speak with your priest and pray to God for guidance because this is a decision that requires time to make.

Indeed, you should speak to your priest as soon as possible and get good, solid Catholic advice - which is what I think Adamski has suggested in your home language, OP.

I am concerned for you both from a Catholic point of view and from the point of view of you being a non-resident in a foreign country. You need someone to be giving you good solid advice, and not strangers on an Internet forum either.

That said you need to ask yourself do you want to raise your daughter inside the baptist church as well as the Catholic church or not.

This is incorrect, if she gets married in the Catholic Church she has to bring up her child as a Catholic, not one foot in the Baptist Church and the other foot in the Catholic Church.

There is no such thing as letting your child decide what religion they are going to be when older, you bring your child up in the faith that you are, do you let a child decide what school they are going to attend, or what time they are going to have meals, what time they are going to decide when they go to bed at night, no this is called neglect, you have to bring up your children to do the right thing, of course when they are older you have done your best then the child in later life might decide to do things differently, that is a different thing than telling a child of 3/4/5 you can decide what religion you will be when your older so at the moment we will bring you up in both camps !

Please read the Catechism of the Catholic Church and Catholicism for Dummies, as a newbie (like myself) we have to keep up and know what the teachings of the Catholic Church is. Not a mish mash from our previous religion.

The husband is the final authority as to which church a child is to be brought up in not the church

Not always.

Oh Yes
the husband is the head of the household as Christ is the head of the Church –

very Biblical

With all due respect, Cococandy, you are on a Catholic website, as I’m sure you know. Your response here is very Protestant. A Catholic is obliged to do everything in their power to raise their children in the Catholic faith, regardless of if you are a man or a woman.

Christ first…Man second. Again, why two should be of the same faith when they marry. If you had a female child and she married a Catholic, you’d encourage her to become Catholic?

Wonder what your view on all the female martyrs that refused to denounced Christ upon the demands of their husbands and fathers.

By what authority are you making this interpretation?

Ephesians 5 :22 “Wives submit yourselves onto your husband”
EPHESIANS 5:23 “The Husband is the head of the wife”

He conveniently leaves it the passage about submitting to one another.

I quote here from the Code of Canon Law, which is binding upon Catholics:

Canon 1125.1 the catholic party is to declare that he or she is prepared to remove dangers of defecting from the faith, and is to make a sincere promise to do all in his or her power in order that all the children be baptised and brought up in the catholic Church;

Canon 1125.2 the other party is to be informed in good time of these promises to be made by the catholic party, so that it is certain that he or she is truly aware of the promise and of the obligation of the catholic party.

If you would like to familiarize yourself further with The Code of Canon Law, I’ve linked it here. Although a much lighter read would come from something like ‘Catholicism for Dummies’.
Please note that you are giving the Protestant perspective (which is fine, you are Protestant) however the lady we are responding to is Catholic; we are on a Catholic website; and we are trying to give her the Catholic advice.

I dated a Baptist girl when I was a seminarian many years ago. We would worship together mainly among Lutherans but I attended her church several times. Our faiths seem to reinforce our relationship rather than create problems.

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