With apologies if this is in the incorrect section but looking at the fora I couldnt see anywhere that might be more appropriate. Can a catholic, when dead, receive the mass of the dead, in a catholic church, but, once out of the crematorium, have their ashes comitted to the ground in a protestant church?
I don’t think the Church is concerned so much with where the ashes are interred as long as they are treated with respect. I can’t see where the Church would have a problem with a Catholic being interred with a Protestant parent or spouse. After all, we have Protestants being interred with Catholic spouses or children.
Is there a particular reason the person is not burried in a Catholic cemetery?
Here’s what Canon Law has to say:
Can. 1240 §1. Where possible, the Church is to have its own cemeteries or at least areas in civil cemeteries that are designated for the deceased members of the faithful and properly blessed.
§2. If this cannot be achieved, however, then individual graves are to be properly blessed.
Most modern churches do not have cemeteries on their property so I assume #2 would apply here. So as long as the individual grave is blessed by a Catholic priest, its fine.
The reason is I’m not dead yet :eek: lol but I have found the most beautiful, tiny, simple, ancient church set off the road, almost in the middle of nowhere, not near any habitation, surrounded by fields and meadows. When I visited there, I thought, wow, this is where I want to have my ashes at rest. But it’s a protestant church, so I wan’t sure if it could be possible. I want a small stone on the ground, and a log, for visitors to sit down on, and take in the stunning beauty and peace of the place. When I was there, there was nobody else around, and the peace and quiet was almost of another world. Thanks for clearing that up for me - I’m guessing the next thing I should do I find the parish priest and ask how I go about reserving a small place. My only fear is the place is so very tiny, it might be the case that the church is reserved strictly for their local parish people. No harm in asking though.
Make sure they’re not hostile to Catholics that they will prevent a Catholic priest from blessing the grave. As long as the grave is blessed with a Catholic Rite, then its fine.
Are there are others already buried there? If not, what would make you think that the church would allow it?
There are small ground stones marking the graves of people at the back of the church grounds, next to the fields. There are some very very old crypts to the front of the church but dont know exactly how old as time and weather have erased all details.
You could be buried there, provided:
1: that a priest blesses the particular grave site
- That the Protestant parish would allow this to happen.
I suspect that yolu would have a difficult time convincing a priest of the necessity of you being buried in a protestant cemetery however. In one sense, this is a repudiation of the Catholic faith.
Frankly, your reasoning in selecting this particular place makes me wonder just how deep your faith is. You will never know how beautiful, or how dreary, any grave sit would be. So, why would that particular place be of such importance to you? is there no Catholic Cemetery nearby, that has some beauty too?
First of all, you won’t even know you will be there, cuz you won’t really be there, if you know what I mean.
Second, about that log…some cemeteries no longer allow anything that is above grass height. That is for ease of grounds upkeep. For DH’s gravestone, it was required I get a flat stone only. Nothing elevated was allowed.
Third, you buy a gravesite. DH’s was $600.
I fail to see how having a catholic funeral mass, having the grave blessed by a catholic priest, and living life as a catholic to that point, is repudiated by virtue of wanting to have my ashes placed in a most sublimely beautiful location that happens not to be catholic.
I dont think you have any right to question the depth of my faith. My catholic church is in a run down urban setting and has no cemetry attached to it. It’s not for me in a sense, I wont know or care any more about this life when I’m gone, it’s for my friends, and family when they visit, I want them to come to a really beautiful, silent, peaceful rural place, when the environment evokes the peace I hope they will feel I am at.
As I say above, it’s not really for me in a sense, it’s for those I leave behind. No problem with the log in this tiny church grounds. I guessed there would be a charge somewhere down the line When I’m out there again I’m going to look up the priest and see what he (or she, they are protestants!) has to say. Thanks all for the input.
I’ve never understood what the purpose of going back to the gravesite to “visit” is. The person is not there…Sure, there are the remains, a box, a marker, but the real person is NOT THERE. I remember going with my parents to visit my deceased grandfather’s site and thinking this was such a waste of time…he’s NOT THERE!
As far as I know, my mother has not visited her parent’s gravesite. She says, “Why?” Same thing now with DH’s grave site. I’ve been there once, only with the headstone guy, so he could see where it was. My kids do not want to go. I asked them on Father’s Day if they wanted to visit their dad’s gravesite (only after someone mentioned to me that I should probably take them to “see” their dad). My kids looked at me like I had 2 heads. So we did not go.
I think what is being said is the same thing that I am saying, that Church Law suggests that we do this things. Of course there are instances where we can’t but for the good of our faith and the good of our souls it must be done as prescribed by the Church. Please do not be offended by that.
I can understand that. But then the question has to be asked, why bother even with a stone, or a maker of any sort?
For some, they do like to visit the grave, tend it, say a prayer for the deceased, and maybe sit by for some time and quietly remember.
It also shows, for some, while the person is not there, clearly, they are not forgotten. When my friends and family come by, I want them to experience this beautiful, tranquil, place. It’s very hard to put into words, but just sitting there, is like a therapy in itself, regardless of the gravesites. I would feel good knowing now, that anyone coming to visit my grave will most likely be touched by the beauty and peace of the place, and may take something for themselves away from it. It’s almost like giving them something back, for coming to visit and pray for me.
Yeah, they are fairly expensive, for a rock. I went with the basic stone, name, birth and death dates, and that is it.
I also went with the basic casket, the basic vault, and no frills for anything. Why? It’s in the ground! It is covered with dirt! He certainly did not notice or care if the interior was lined with the really expensive stuff or the bargain material!
I hear that. I guess for some they feel they are giving the deceased the best send off, and those that are left behind have the feeling they have done one last good thing for the departed. It’s very much an individual thing. It’s an industry all right. For me, I dont want my family and friends spending silly money on stuff that’s just going to get burned anyhow. The simpler and less ornate the better. I’ve made all that clear in my will and in conversations. But I do want that spot by the meadows