Catholic dating a divorced protestant.

Is there ever a case were a catolic could go out on a date with a divorced protestant? As Catholics if someone divorces they should seek if the have grounds for an annulment before they would even think about dating since a married person can’t date someone. Since anything that looks like a marriage is to be treated as one until the church prooves otherwise (I know it isn’t to often that it happens this way). But if a divorced protestant ask a catholic out (maybe in the workplace) There is no way the indivual is going to seek an annulment once the catholic says “we’ll if you seek an annulment through the Catholic church and they approve it then we could go out”. Could you go out a few times and then you feel like this may be an individual you might like to pursue and then not date anymore until the annulment is applied for and comes thru?

I think that dating a divorce protestant would be fine considering that if you are following the Catholic faith, you wouldn't be doing anything more than getting to know him/her until after marriage anyway. Then if you found you loved the person enough to want to marry them, then you could broach the subject of an annulment. You could even be a good influence on them in that you could draw them to the church and it's teachings.

A Catholic woman dated me, a divorced protestant and now I'm in RCIA and working on the annulment. I think the safe thing would be to talk with the person during the dating process and find out how they feel about Catholicism, and about marriage. You might find they agree with the process, or you could find that they have no intention of ever getting married again. That would answer your question immediately and you could then decide to remain friends.

[quote="DSJJ, post:1, topic:269294"]
Is there ever a case were a catolic could go out on a date with a divorced protestant? As Catholics if someone divorces they should seek if the have grounds for an annulment before they would even think about dating since a married person can't date someone. Since anything that looks like a marriage is to be treated as one until the church prooves otherwise (I know it isn't to often that it happens this way).** But if a divorced protestant ask a catholic out (maybe in the workplace) **There is no way the indivual is going to seek an annulment once the catholic says "we'll if you seek an annulment through the Catholic church and they approve it then we could go out". Could you go out a few times and then you feel like this may be an individual you might like to pursue and then not date anymore until the annulment is applied for and comes thru?

[/quote]

It is a bad idea (and often against company policy) to date someone from your workplace.......

I know this may be hard...however I disagree with the post that says this is OK. The Catholic church even sees non-Catholic marriages a valid Sacrament until determined null. Therefore even a divorced non-Catolic asks you to date...until the marriage is deemed null, in the eyes of the Catholic church this person is still married. Prayers

I don’t think a Catholic should date anyone who has been divorced unless the person already has an annulment (not just in the process). The Church says that other person is still married, and we should not be dating married people. Also, if you do decide to date them (chastely) while they start the annulment process, you could be opening yourself up to a world of hurt. If they don’t get the annulment (and annulments are not for sure, sometimes people think they are) you are now in love with someone you cannot marry in the Church. This would be very hard and put your faith in danger. Best to take it slow, don’t rush, if God intends for you to marry this person, they will get an annulment and you can marry in the Church.

[quote="anp1215, post:5, topic:269294"]
I don't think a Catholic should date anyone who has been divorced unless the person already has an annulment (not just in the process). The Church says that other person is still married, and we should not be dating married people. Also, if you do decide to date them (chastely) while they start the annulment process, you could be opening yourself up to a world of hurt. If they don't get the annulment (and annulments are not for sure, sometimes people think they are) you are now in love with someone you cannot marry in the Church. This would be very hard and put your faith in danger. Best to take it slow, don't rush, if God intends for you to marry this person, they will get an annulment and you can marry in the Church.

[/quote]

Ow!

Love is a hard thing to find, much less to force religious change upon a person, just to date in the event you may eventually marry...it may be she will want you to convert to her religion instead...it is reasonable and still believes in Our Lord Jesus Christ, except for a few schisms or two or three?

Actually, I heard Newt just became Catholic? How was he able to annul 2 sacred marriages and convert to Catholism too? It did not seem to be too hard to process his requests and get approval, for not one sacred marriage, but two!

Today and into the future, as we evolve, all peoples are becoming involved and marrying other peoples of different religions, races, creeds...I do not know the answer to keeping the Catholic marriage laws pure...it is one of the reasons so many young people are leaving the CChurch...it becomes too rigid to follow, not just in marriage doctrine but in its many dogmas, doctrines and mass changes...

[quote="LayingHands, post:6, topic:269294"]
Ow!

Love is a hard thing to find, much less to force religious change upon a person, just to date in the event you may eventually marry...it may be she will want you to convert to her religion instead...it is reasonable and still believes in Our Lord Jesus Christ, except for a few schisms or two or three?

Actually, I heard Newt just became Catholic? How was he able to annul 2 sacred marriages and convert to Catholism too? It did not seem to be too hard to process his requests and get approval, for not one sacred marriage, but two!

Today and into the future, as we evolve, all peoples are becoming involved and marrying other peoples of different religions, races, creeds...I do not know the answer to keeping the Catholic marriage laws pure...it is one of the reasons so many young people are leaving the CChurch...it becomes too rigid to follow, not just in marriage doctrine but in its many dogmas, doctrines and mass changes...

[/quote]

Why "ow?" I don't follow what you are trying to say. That a Catholic, rather than following the Catholic teachings on marriage, should convert to his/her divorced girlfriend/boyfriend's Protestant religion and marry in their church?

I don't know the details of either of Newt Gingrich's two previous marriage, neither do you, neither does anyone here, that is confidential information between him, the marriage tribunal, and God.

Race and creed has nothing to do with the Catholic teachings on marriage.

If a young person (or any person) leaves the Church because it's "too rigid to follow," the problem lies with the person and/or his/her catechesis, not with the Church.

[quote="DSJJ, post:1, topic:269294"]
Is there ever a case were a catolic could go out on a date with a divorced protestant? As Catholics if someone divorces they should seek if the have grounds for an annulment before they would even think about dating since a married person can't date someone. Since anything that looks like a marriage is to be treated as one until the church prooves otherwise (I know it isn't to often that it happens this way). But if a divorced protestant ask a catholic out (maybe in the workplace) There is no way the indivual is going to seek an annulment once the catholic says "we'll if you seek an annulment through the Catholic church and they approve it then we could go out". Could you go out a few times and then you feel like this may be an individual you might like to pursue and then not date anymore until the annulment is applied for and comes thru?

[/quote]

The Catholic Church considers all marriages valid, unless determined otherwise by a Catholic Marriage Tribunal. Dating a divorced person, even someone who is not Catholic, would be the same as dating a married person. It is not allowed by the Catholic Church to date someone who is divorced and has not received a proper annulment. The Catholic in this case should stick to their beliefs and NOT DATE THIS DIVORCED PERSON until they obtain an annulment.

The question being posed is:

Is there ever a case were a Catholic could go out on a date with a married woman?

The answer should be obvious.

[quote="DSJJ, post:1, topic:269294"]
Is there ever a case were a catolic could go out on a date with a divorced protestant? As Catholics if someone divorces they should seek if the have grounds for an annulment before they would even think about dating since a married person can't date someone. Since anything that looks like a marriage is to be treated as one until the church prooves otherwise (I know it isn't to often that it happens this way). But if a divorced protestant ask a catholic out (maybe in the workplace) There is no way the indivual is going to seek an annulment once the catholic says "we'll if you seek an annulment through the Catholic church and they approve it then we could go out". Could you go out a few times and then you feel like this may be an individual you might like to pursue and then not date anymore until the annulment is applied for and comes thru?

[/quote]

Once a person is solid in their faith why go through the drama and difficulties involved with a relationship where two are unequally yoked. Add in the factor of a previous divorce and what difficulties might arise with that and that persons willingness to obtain a sacramental annulment. To make it even more interesting this is a co-worker and your dating now can be part of water cooler conversations. Sorry but this does not sound like a good move if you are serious about your faith.

God Bless

[quote="anp1215, post:7, topic:269294"]
Why "ow?" I don't follow what you are trying to say. That a Catholic, rather than following the Catholic teachings on marriage, should convert to his/her divorced girlfriend/boyfriend's Protestant religion and marry in their church?

I don't know the details of either of Newt Gingrich's two previous marriage, neither do you, neither does anyone here, that is confidential information between him, the marriage tribunal, and God.

Race and creed has nothing to do with the Catholic teachings on marriage.

If a young person (or any person) leaves the Church because it's "too rigid to follow," the problem lies with the person and/or his/her catechesis, not with the Church.

[/quote]

Either the CC changes or it will continue to lose any number of young and old (Jesus Christ) Christian believing peoples, including searching converts...it is time to change with the future...you see, my Ow! says you are too rigid and I'll tell you why...

I have an Aunt (very old Spanish/Mexican heritage) who had to divorce because her Catholic husband cheated and kept a mistress, for many years and she never knew until he left her one day. She was placed through many changes from our family, and the CC, because of his cheating...both were unfair and wrong, however, our family rallied to her because she has always been a Daughter of GOD...truly a gentle, loving angel of mercy, involved in many charities, prays every morning, noon and night, prays before driving, prays for friends and family, would give you the blouse on her back...you know what I mean...

I was astounded that the CC would treat her so badly, no Eucharist, no confessions, no masses...how could anyone ever imagine, much less voice, that GOD would forsake her?

The future is and has changed whereby all races, religious creeds (True believers in Christ, be they, Protestant, Baptist, the 122 Catholic offshoot Churchs, with their little schisms as creed of this, creed to that or we believe this and you believe that, Evangelists, Mormons, LDS, etc.)...All of the Christian believing Churches and even those who believe in GOD and are not Christian, have been raised to their parents religions...they are all looking for love and marriage, someone to raise a family with...I am saying everyone is intermingling with everyone's religions and races and when that decision to what religion they will choose to marry under and raise their families under, will become both of their decisions.

Why would you imagine that a Protestant woman in love could not ask her Catholic man to convert to her religion? I'm sure it happens everyday! What of an Evangelist converting a Catholic or a Baptist converting a Catholic.

My point is that when one is in love, partners compromise to become a family and since, in this possible case, a Catholic and Protestant, whom both believe in Our Lord Jesus Christ, with some differences...ALL believe in the same GOD. Bottom line, belief in GOD is the most important event to bring any two people together...how and with what religion they decide to choose, in the end, for whatever reason...means they both believe with the same faith, in GOD.

How they choose their Church by its dogmas, its doctrines, its creeds (correct belief), its mass, its Saints, etc., will be their choice...the days of you have to do it our way or the highway, will no longer work...some will choose the highway, but it will be to the Protestant or Baptist, or Evangelists Church, right across the street!

Regarding Newt, please...everyone knows he cheated and married his mistresses. I'm astounded he converted to become a Catholic, but, in this the CC will find some of its parisheners are angry, disappointed and confused. Another notch for the CC, similar to playing merry-go-round with pedifile priests, something which will never be forgotten...I know, I know...

[quote="LayingHands, post:11, topic:269294"]
I was astounded that the CC would treat her so badly, no Eucharist, no confessions, no masses...how could anyone ever imagine, much less voice, that GOD would forsake her?

[/quote]

There must be something else that you are not telling us. A person who is abandoned by his/her spouse remains a Catholic in good standing with the Church, and is fully entitled to participate in the Sacramental and social life of the Church. The person is, however, still considered married, and thus is not free to marry another unless the Church first finds that the original marriage was defective in some way (ie, an annulment).

Unless your aunt subsequently married another person, without first obtaining an annulment (which would seem trivial, under the circumstances), your story is difficult to understand.

The Catholic Church does not view marriage as a civil contract, or something that the bride and groom define what it means. The Church defines marriage as a Sacrament, recognized by God - regardless of what the bride and groom might think, or their parents, or the legal system, or society, or you or I might think. Sacramental marriage is done according to God's rule. And Our Lord Jesus Christ has told us, "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder."

I would never date someone who wasn't free to marry in the church. Anyone who is divorced without an annulment or dispensation (decree of nullity) from the church is still considered married. I tried dating divorcee's and my conscience bothered me the whole time.

I believe that dating should not precede establishing that the person is free to marry.

In the case of a divorced Protestant it is more likely than not that the person is not free to marry. (Most marriages are valid and all marriages are meant to be presumed valid unless and until proven otherwise.)

I believe that one should not date counting on an exception to happen.

I believe that in the scenario with a divorced Protestant, the proper course of action would be to obtain the nullity decree for that Protestant before developing a romantic relationship. Romance is not sex, strictly speaking, but neither is it proper for married people to date others.

[quote="DSJJ, post:1, topic:269294"]
There is no way the indivual is going to seek an annulment once the catholic says "we'll if you seek an annulment through the Catholic church and they approve it then we could go out". Could you go out a few times and then you feel like this may be an individual you might like to pursue and then not date anymore until the annulment is applied for and comes thru?

[/quote]

The first sentence shows that the divorced protestant is not for you.

Besides, with all the never-married Catholics having a hard time finding a spouse, how about looking among them instead? Are there none by you?

Edit: I see that you are "out west". If you can make it to Denver later this month, there is the National Catholic Singles Conference:

nationalcatholicsingles.com/

Sorry, missed something:

Could you go out a few times and then you feel like this may be an individual you might like to pursue and then not date anymore until the annulment is applied for and comes thru?

To give you an answer that more directly relates to your question: dating tends to include romantic interactions, romantic vibes, romantic gestures. All of those things would be improper to do with a married person. Which a divorced Protestant is presumed to be (unless it was a shotgun wedding or one of the spouses lied about the vows or some other very serious thing, or had very serious psychic issues preventing him or her from being faithful or engaging in sexual relations, in which case there may be a case for a nullity decree). Again, please understand that a divorced person is presumed to be married and with overwhelming probability, he or she probably is.

You could hang out as friends, though, and see if you're potentially interested in a more romantic development. But nothing that a married person shouldn't be engaging in.

Your beliefs are very much at odds with Church teaching.You seem to have much disdain for them. The Church is not too rigid, the Church just refuses to waffle on moral issues unlike other denominations. The teachings on marriage will not be changed, no matter how many parishioners think they are unfair. To do so would be to throw out the very teaching that Christ gave us in the New Testament. The Church will not do it; it’s as simple as that.

Concerning your aunt, I do not believe the the Catholic Church turned her away from any Confession, Mass, or Eucharist for being divorced. If she contracted an invalid marriage afterwards, then she would be barred from receiving Eucharist, but the Church does not turn any Catholic away from Confession, nor does it turn any person at all away from attending a Mass. This simply is not true.

A Catholic who leaves the faith and converts to Protestantism commits the sin of apostasy, whether or not they are culpable for this sin will be determined by God. It’s not a light matter as you suggest.

As I said before, you don’t know the details of Newt Gingrich’s marriage anymore than I do. The marriage tribunal judged his prior marriages and found them to be invalid. I trust in my Church and its teachings on marriage. Your comparison of the marriage tribunal findings to the sex abuse scandal is in poor taste.

[quote="anp1215, post:17, topic:269294"]
Your beliefs are very much at odds with Church teaching.You seem to have much disdain for them. The Church is not too rigid, the Church just refuses to waffle on moral issues unlike other denominations. The teachings on marriage will not be changed, no matter how many parishioners think they are unfair. To do so would be to throw out the very teaching that Christ gave us in the New Testament. The Church will not do it; it's as simple as that.

Concerning your aunt, I do not believe the the Catholic Church turned her away from any Confession, Mass, or Eucharist for being divorced. If she contracted an invalid marriage afterwards, then she would be barred from receiving Eucharist, but the Church does not turn any Catholic away from Confession, nor does it turn any person at all away from attending a Mass. This simply is not true.

A Catholic who leaves the faith and converts to Protestantism commits the sin of apostasy, whether or not they are culpable for this sin will be determined by God. It's not a light matter as you suggest.

As I said before, you don't know the details of Newt Gingrich's marriage anymore than I do. The marriage tribunal judged his prior marriages and found them to be invalid. I trust in my Church and its teachings on marriage. Your comparison of the marriage tribunal findings to the sex abuse scandal is in poor taste.

[/quote]

Unfortunately, you are right and the CC will not loosen up its marriage practices, so lets not wonder why CC and Other Churches are closing all over the United States and the CC schools cannot stay open to help teach and raise our holy Catholic children.

Do not question my faith, nor my positions about the CC's responses to its issues...I guess you have to be on the receiving end to understand my feelings...and as far as my Aunt is concerned, this occurred in the middle 60's, and this was how the CC treated this matter, in Mexico, back then...is it the same today? Let's try to find out.

I would like to hear from someone, about the official manner and how the CC instructs regarding this matter, within this forum. It would certainly clarify this...

[quote="LayingHands, post:18, topic:269294"]
Unfortunately, you are right and the CC will not loosen up its marriage practices, so lets not wonder why CC and Other Churches are closing all over the United States and the CC schools cannot stay open to help teach and raise our holy Catholic children.

Do not question my faith, nor my positions about the CC's responses to its issues...I guess you have to be on the receiving end to understand my feelings...and as far as my Aunt is concerned, this occurred in the middle 60's, and this was how the CC treated this matter, in Mexico, back then...is it the same today? Let's try to find out.

I would like to hear from someone, about the official manner and how the CC instructs regarding this matter, within this forum. It would certainly clarify this...

[/quote]

[quote="LayingHands, post:11, topic:269294"]
I was astounded that the CC would treat her so badly, no Eucharist, no confessions, no masses...how could anyone ever imagine, much less voice, that GOD would forsake her?

[/quote]

I agree with the other posters. Either this is either not true or very much exaggerated. The Church denies no one to attend Mass unless you are excommunicated and will allow anyone to receive the Eucharist as long as you have received said sacrament to do so and are currently in a state of grace, whether by recent baptism or, more commonly, confession. Which is also not something denied to anyone unless they are excommunicated. Based on the info you have given...there is absolutely no reason why she cannot attend church, go to confession and receive the Eucharist.

She can be "divorced on paper" but as long as she is celibate and not living in sin, there is no reason she can't continue to be Catholic. Her situation is sad, but she needs to get an annulment to her Marriage in order for her to marry within the Catholic church again.

Right now I can't receive the Eucharist because I'm not in a state of grace. My Fiance and I are in the process of re-joining the Church but we have been co-habitating for a few years now and I'm currently pregnant with our first. Neither of us have been married before but we are gong through the process of marrying through the church and attending RCIA classes together...and of course...going to weekly Mass (I go twice a week because i enjoy it so much). My situation hasn't prevented me from going to mass. Our Priest is well aware of our situation but is quite happy that we are both trying very hard and our devotion to be in good standing with the Church is solid.

To answer the question...a catholic probably shouldn't date a divorced protestant given the circumstances behind Catholic doctrine and tradition. It would be easier on everyone to just stay away before feeling are involved.

My Fiance and I are trying to encourage another couple that we are friends with to work with a priest because they are interested in joining the Catholic church as well. Their Marriage is not recognized because the husband was married and divorced before but never got an annulment. He wasn't married in the Catholic church but in a pentacostal church at a very young age and after a very short courtship. Essentially the families and the church forced him into the marriage and he seems to have legitimate grounds for an annulment but still won't do it...whether by intimidation or some other reason I'm not aware of.

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