Catholic dating Church of Christ


#1

I am dating a man who belongs to the Church of Christ. We have had discussions about marriage, faith, and family. While we would both like the other to belong to the same religion, and know it would make the future much easier, we respect each others beliefs. He would like us to attend both Catholic and Church of Christ services together. I know inter-faith marriages are very difficult, especially when both people are strong in their faith. I love this man very much and don’t want to give up on the relationship. Please help with ideas on how to make this work.


#2

:slight_smile: Hi-

In my experience, it’s been a very hard and rocky road. My husband and family are Evangelical Protestants, and even after 8 years together we really can’t get into too much depth about religion and doctrinal issues.
His family have the common misperceptions and really don’t care to come to the source to find out the truth. Unfortunately I don’t blame them because early in our courtship, at what rare times they did have questions, I didn’t have solid answers because I wasn’t very knowledgeable and lukewarm.
We tried to go to two services, but it’s very taxing to spend either all day Sunday at Church, unless you are a saint!, and/or spend every other Sunday fending off queries about why you worship statues and such.
Fortunately my husband, with the birth of our children, allowed me to put my foot down about raising the kids strictly Catholic and we now consider our shared home “Catholic” in belief and culture. Many other shared households aren’t as lucky.
Thanks be to God, my husband is showing interest in RCIA, attends Mass and goes through the ritual motions, maybe in time he’ll convert (please!) but I think he may be afraid of his family’s reaction.
I think his family has softened their attitude about Catholicism, at least to the point that they’ll concede at least one person can find truth while worshiping in the “Whore of Babylon”, but I keep apologetic material handy in discreet places for their visits.

My advice? Be prepared :smiley: for the possibility of a bumpy road ahead, especially since in my experience Church of Christ is pretty anti-Catholic, and really become knowledgeable about the Catholic faith, if you aren’t already.

Good luck. :wink: I’m sure some people will tell you to avoid it, I’m not so sure that isn’t sage advice, but IMHO if my husband converts then it’s all worth it. That may not happen though, so don’t you expect change or conversion. :thumbsup:


#3

[quote=Jennifer123]:slight_smile: Hi-

In my experience, it’s been a very hard and rocky road. My husband and family are Evangelical Protestants, and even after 8 years together we really can’t get into too much depth about religion and doctrinal issues.
His family have the common misperceptions and really don’t care to come to the source to find out the truth. Unfortunately I don’t blame them because early in our courtship, at what rare times they did have questions, I didn’t have solid answers because I wasn’t very knowledgeable and lukewarm.
We tried to go to two services, but it’s very taxing to spend either all day Sunday at Church, unless you are a saint!, and/or spend every other Sunday fending off queries about why you worship statues and such.
Fortunately my husband, with the birth of our children, allowed me to put my foot down about raising the kids strictly Catholic and we now consider our shared home “Catholic” in belief and culture. Many other shared households aren’t as lucky.
Thanks be to God, my husband is showing interest in RCIA, attends Mass and goes through the ritual motions, maybe in time he’ll convert (please!) but I think he may be afraid of his family’s reaction.
I think his family has softened their attitude about Catholicism, at least to the point that they’ll concede at least one person can find truth while worshiping in the “Whore of Babylon”, but I keep apologetic material handy in discreet places for their visits.

My advice? Be prepared :smiley: for the possibility of a bumpy road ahead, especially since in my experience Church of Christ is pretty anti-Catholic, and really become knowledgeable about the Catholic faith, if you aren’t already.

Good luck. :wink: I’m sure some people will tell you to avoid it, I’m not so sure that isn’t sage advice, but IMHO if my husband converts then it’s all worth it. That may not happen though, so don’t you expect change or conversion. :thumbsup:
[/quote]

I would have to say that the Church of Christ is no more anti-catholic than the catholic church is anti-Church of Christ or anti-protestant.

www.preachersfiles.com if you want to get a better understanding of his faith.


#4

[quote=ReflectHim]I would have to say that the Church of Christ is no more anti-catholic than the catholic church is anti-Church of Christ or anti-protestant.

www.preachersfiles.com if you want to get a better understanding of his faith.
[/quote]

IMHO - not in my experience. There have been attempts at “saving” me from the “evil” of Catholicism by well-intentioned CoC members.
I also disagree with your assertion that the Catholic Church is anti-Protestantism, but that’s my opinion. :wink:


#5

My parents grew up CofC, while they left for a more Charistmatic group, they have in the past years returned to the CofC. I’m and adult convert to the Catholic Church.

Every time we visit my parents, I sit in their CofC service during communion and pray. (They recieve what they see as symbolic only communion at every service). When my parents attend Mass with us, they cannot receive during communion. We both know and respect each other’s beliefs, yet, it is so sad for me and for my parents. The chances are very good that my parents and I will never receive communion together again in our lives. They will never receive communion with their Catholic grandson.

While everything else is important, so important – can you really imagine going to Church every Sunday for the rest of your life and never ever receiving communion with your husband? For your children – there will be one parent with whom they can never receive communion.

Love is blind – well, for a moment remove the love blinders and take a peek at the reality of such disparate beliefs in a marriage.

[font=Arial]Pray, read, pray some more - [/font]


#6

While you’re dating, it would be a good idea for both of you to go to each other’s churches. It might give some insight into each other’s religions.

I know a couple who did this. He is Catholic and she’s Lutheran. They have been going to both churches. At Easter Vigil, she will become Catholic.


#7

My understanding of the C of C is that it is a very fundamentalist leaning denomination. I would urge caution.

Dating a devout Christian can be good if you can find common ground spiritually through prayer and occasional worship at his service or Mass. Bible study will be a challenge for both of you in a group setting at either congregation. When the kids arrive it can get much more difficult.

My wife is a nominal Christian and I thought either she would convert or be suuportive in my efforts since she is lax not hostile to faith. Unfortunately she is not interested in faith at all and is occasionally hostile and unsupportive. Last week my son thought he could not eat meat at lunch and refrained from it and got the yogurt. He misunderstood when I said the Church USED to adstain from meat for all of Lent and thought that was the case today. He was quite upset when he realized that he did not have to have the yogurt lunch Thursday and my wife’s reaction was smug. The problem is that for her religion is a nice idea but one can always find a reason to miss worship or other expectations. Since my son is 8 I let him eat meat at restaurants when they do not serve anything else he likes. At home we abstain. It is hard enough to tr and creat a Catholic home when you have to worry and plan against the opposition(spouse). Mass every Sunday goes smoothly but any “extras” are a fight.

Love is a starter for a good marriage but it takes more. Not having a common viewpoint on religion can be a struggle and once the kids come it is very hard. Pray and keep your options open. You may meet a single Catholic man you like.


#8

the Church of Christ does not consider themselves a denomination any more than the catholic church does. Just for clear understanding.


#9

[quote=ReflectHim]the Church of Christ does not consider themselves a denomination any more than the catholic church does. Just for clear understanding.
[/quote]

Yes - thanks for clarification. We may debate that but not here in this thread!! :smiley:


#10

[quote=Jennifer123]Yes - thanks for clarification. We may debate that but not here in this thread!! :smiley:
[/quote]

debate why? I would think a debate would be needed if one side or the other was going to change their views or beliefs. and since neither side are, why bother?

I’d rather avoid a debate. It seems pointless, considering.


#11

[quote=ReflectHim]I would have to say that the Church of Christ is no more anti-catholic than the catholic church is anti-Church of Christ or anti-protestant.

I dunno about the various denominations degrees of anti-Catholicism, but my parents go to a Church of Christ church and all of them there are VERY anti-Catholic…

So much that after two years of me being Catholic my mom has just stopped making “cult” comments about the Catholic Church. Her friends from her church still make snide comments.
[/quote]


#12

ALL of them are anti-catholic? You know every member of her congregation. What makes them anti-catholic? When one disagree’s with something does that make them anti- something? I’m just asking, so that we can be on the same page in that aspect. Thats like saying every Black person in America is a criminal, or every white person steals. I mean seriously can we judge an entire group on a few people, no matter how large that few may be. It’s no the teachings of the church. So why have its member reflect that. It’s unfair and biased to say so.
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#13

ReflectHim, you have made four posts in this thread, none of which have anything to do with the question posed by the original poster. All of your posts are trying to nit pick portions of other posts. Start your own thread if you want to engage in a general discussion of the CoC, try to stay on topic, or risk being reported and possibly suspended for violating forum guidelines. Your choice, my friend.


#14

[quote=geezerbob]ReflectHim, you have made four posts in this thread, none of which have anything to do with the question posed by the original poster. All of your posts are trying to nit pick portions of other posts. Start your own thread if you want to engage in a general discussion of the CoC, try to stay on topic, or risk being reported and possibly suspended for violating forum guidelines. Your choice, my friend.
[/quote]

thats fine. I’m just trying to defend my Church. if others are going to reply and give false information than yes I feel I must defend and give the correct information. if that is wrong, well excuse me. but i’m so sure that if i were to start a topic giving false claims about the catholic church, when others cleared up the misconceptions you wouldn’t have a problem with that. so i’m supposed to just let false information be posted? and second of all, would it have not been more tactful to have contacted me thru PM than on the actual forum, than too that means we both have not contributed to the original topic.

I did contribute earlier, i provided a link…
[your friend? highly doubt it]


#15

[quote=caffeinated27]I am dating a man who belongs to the Church of Christ. We have had discussions about marriage, faith, and family. While we would both like the other to belong to the same religion, and know it would make the future much easier, we respect each others beliefs. He would like us to attend both Catholic and Church of Christ services together. I know inter-faith marriages are very difficult, especially when both people are strong in their faith. I love this man very much and don’t want to give up on the relationship. Please help with ideas on how to make this work.
[/quote]

here’s some advice. try understanding his Church with an open mind, and asking him to do the same with yours. explore the similarities and then the differences. question question question. encourage him also. try speaking to his minister to get a clear understanding.

i believe i provided a link that may help the both of you

preachersfiles.com, for the Church of Christ, and I’m sure he can visit this site for his information on your church


#16

This may be only in my diocese, but I believe we are still encourages to abstain from meat on Friday…

On topic, have you discussed which faith your children will be raised in? Attempting both is very confusing and can lead to religious indifference (I’m not saying this is true in all cases, but it has been my experience). Also, have you discussed his view of infant baptism, the Saints, your observance of Lent, the importance of confession, etc.

Just some things to ponder,

May God bless and keep you
k


#17

It is very important to establish an agreement to adhere to marital chastity. That is, your husband must agree to use NFP to space children and to not engage in unchaste marital practices.

I think you’d both enjoy Christopher West’s Theology of the Body seminar. www.christopherwest.com . I recently went to a seminar and found it inspiring and entertaining. I think he really presents the Catholic teaching in a very positive way.

Also, will your future spouse agree to infant baptism? I think most of your issues will arise as you are blessed with children. As a Catholic, you have to agree to rear your children in the Church.

I’m in a mixed marriage, but it is easier in a way since my husband doesn’t practice in another faith. Our biggest issues have been marital chastity (not covered by the way in our marriage prep). Probably someone whose spouse is practicing in a Protestant denomination can help you better.

I do have one friend who converted to the church with her new husband who was reverting to the church. She is now a fervent Catholic, but her husband is returning to his Evangelical faith. He won’t let her have any statues, intercessory prayer to saints, rosaries, Marian devotions. It is very painful for her.


#18

I was raised protestant and he is catholic, We tend to focus more on what both of us believe and not what we dont believe as a couple. We both are christians we just like to express our love for the Lord in difernent ways. I would encourage both of you to discuss your views with each other and read the key scriptures and pray about them. It will help so much. Also we both have respect for each others view point. It is not a loss cause but only extremley difficult. We decicded that we would raise our children in the Catholic Church but that was only after a lot of discussions about it. Just pray and keep praying. I hope this helped you as i can understand what you are going through.


#19

[quote=JMJ Theresa]I do have one friend who converted to the church with her new husband who was reverting to the church. She is now a fervent Catholic, but her husband is returning to his Evangelical faith. He won’t let her have any statues, intercessory prayer to saints, rosaries, Marian devotions. It is very painful for her.
[/quote]

Apparently she has not learned how to burn the toast properly.


#20

Questions to sort out now before you’re in too deep:

Will he want you to use artificial birth control?

Will the babies be baptized Catholic?

Will they attend a Catholic School or Religious Ed classes at the Catholic Church?

Will they make their first communion at the Catholic Church with the understanding that it IS the body and blood of Christ?

Those are some of the non-negotiables in my opinion.

Truth be told, I’d bet money that when he says, “We’ll attend both churches together” what he means is, “I’ll go to the Catholic Church UNTIL you realize that the Church of Christ is the true Church and agree to be baptized into MY faith.”


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