Catholic Dating/Courtship, need advice


#1

hey guys,

I would like to seek advice in regard to dating and catholic courtship. I am 25 years old, turning 26... a devout catholic (or at least i try my best) and attend church often..

i recently graduated college and dont have a career yet ( although looking)..

i know the point of dating is to find someone for marriage (life long commitment).. i have dated "just to date" in the past and knew it would never work out.. although i am very picky and probably more so than now..

i would like to think i have my lust under control, and i do want purity and chastity more than anything, i am not perfect in that respect but i am on a journey to be so.. most days .. i am living out my obedience to god as his servant..

anyways.. teh question..

do you recommend I date women ( there is one girl who i met at a club who is interested in going for coffee).. does it make sense to date her if i dont have a job yet? should i wait until i am more chaste ..

on the one hand, i feel that i met this girl to date her and see what can happen.. and that i would be just throwing away an opportunity, on the other hand im not sure?


#2

honestly my intentions are to just be friends at first.. i have read a book on dating by pope john paul 2 love and responsibility.. and i will probalby end up revealing that i am catholic to her..


#3

Go have coffee and talk. Tell her about the lack of job, your faith, and go from there. SLOWWWWWWWWWW is key. Invite her to Eucharistic Adoration and then coffee.


#4

You should probably mention your desire for chastity early on. Since you met her at a club, it is impossible to guess what her expectations might be.

There is no problem with dating before you have established your career.


#5

[quote="pwlj_christ87, post:1, topic:323917"]
hey guys,

I would like to seek advice in regard to dating and catholic courtship. I am 25 years old, turning 26... a devout catholic (or at least i try my best) and attend church often..

i recently graduated college and dont have a career yet ( although looking)..

i know the point of dating is to find someone for marriage (life long commitment).. i have dated "just to date" in the past and knew it would never work out.. although i am very picky and probably more so than now..

i would like to think i have my lust under control, and i do want purity and chastity more than anything, i am not perfect in that respect but i am on a journey to be so.. most days .. i am living out my obedience to god as his servant..

anyways.. teh question..

do you recommend I date women ( there is one girl who i met at a club who is interested in going for coffee).. does it make sense to date her if i dont have a job yet? should i wait until i am more chaste ..

on the one hand, i feel that i met this girl to date her and see what can happen.. and that i would be just throwing away an opportunity, on the other hand im not sure?

[/quote]

Unless there is some serious issue, I don't see an issue with you dating her. As someone else said, you may want to take it slow just so you can get your confidence going.


#6

ok thanks, i will definately mention to her what my views are on various things, im sure she will be able to notice sooner than later.. she bought me a drink so i feel like i have to take her out to be a gentlemen


#7

[quote="pwlj_christ87, post:1, topic:323917"]
hey guys,...does it make sense to date her if i dont have a job yet?,....

[/quote]

if you're looking for a potential mate, look at it from her perspective. if she's evaluating you as a potential husband, she's looking for, among other things, a man who can support her and her children-to-be ... and you don't have a job.

she probably has met dozens of nice guys, like you. but many of them have careers, just beginning careers, but paying the bills and financial competency are a big part of marriage and that means a lot to a woman.

but hanging out in a coffee house isn't really a date. so go for it.


#8

Plain and simple. If your intentions are really friendship at first. Then there's no need to throw the word "date" around.

You "date" someone who is more than a friend or whom you have the intention to make more than a friend.

Catholic Courtship is based not off Dating in so much as it is off friendship with God first then with each other. After both friendships have been established and solidified then you begin the formal courtship and discernment.

Furthermore, there's no need to "reveal" your Catholic... nor your intentions or lack of impure intentions. Again, approach this prayerfully and platonically and let it grow from there and all these things will be revealed naturally.

God Bless

+AMDG


#9

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