[quote="collettejohns, post:13, topic:220128"]
What you said is kinda what I've been thinking about. I feel like I've made it too easy for him by always being online. I just wasnt sure if purposely not going on to chat with him, even though I want to, was playing games.
I'm an old guy, so you might want to ignore what I say for that reason alone. But I have a bachelor son (who now is engaged) but who went what seemed to me an awfully long time to find "Miss Right", including on those Catholic sites. I used to talk to him about that some, and here's what I think.
First, so many young men now are not into the romanticism that prevailed "back in the day". Nor do they seem to have a lot of patience. Some of that, I suppose, is due to the fact that so many girls and women are so forward the young men figure it's easy to find another girl if one doesn't pan out.
But an aspect of that is that I really do think young men go sort of blase about any girl who seems too "available". But I don't think they like bogus games either. I don't know exactly how those sites work, but I think I might, so maybe this can be done, maybe not. I think they have signals that tell you a particular person came online, and I think you can send short messages to one person while in a conversation with another.
Sooooo, with regard to being online all the time, I would say this. Be online if you want, as much as you want. If this particularl guy comes online, just go on with what you're doing for a bit, then perhaps say "Hi. Nice to see you." then go on to what you were doing before. If the guy follows up with another message, tell him you are winding up a conversation and you'll be there in a minute. Then do. Maybe he'll send another message and maybe he won't, but if he doesn't and you just can't help getting back with him, wait awhile, then explain you were in another conversation with a "friend" but wanted to greet him "with better manners" while he was still there.
Seems to me, then, that the message is "Glad to see you. Your presence is positive with me. Maybe (maybe not) more important than that of others, but tending that way. But the situation is not presently such that I drop my whole life for you right now."
Hope it helps.