Catholic Girlfriend Non-Catholic Boyfriend. Seeking Prayers and advice


#1

Hi All,

First time posting. This forum is a great resource.*

My dear Catholic girlfriend of three years has expressed that she wants to continue our relationship as friends. This came after a month of time apart to discover what we want for ourselves individually.We are both 24 going on 25 this year.

*I come from a family with no faith and I was raised without one although felt that there was a God, a greater presence in this universe. She was raised catholic and wishes to have a spiritual connection with her partner.

She introduced me to the faith in a very loving, caring, gentle way. She never forced or imposed anything on me and I have come to see that the faith is what I would like in my life. We have a pure relationship (non-sexual) and I always respect her beliefs, values, and body.*

Shes shared many books and prayers with me. But I was not immediately drawn to the subject matter. I did not have that connection with the faith nor the understanding. Recently I've started learning about Jesus, his life, and his teachings and everything made so much more sense to me. I can see why she values her faith so much now. It was as if my journey had been illuminated.*

During our time apart I've come to the realization that I do want this as part of my life. I do want to share this faith with her. I do wish to lead her in the faith and be the strong catholic man she deserves. I now desire to read the books she shared with me. I've begun attending rcia classes. Doing research to better understand Catholicism.*

Unfortunately it took me three years to get to this point. Three years of tremendous faith, patience, and struggle on her part. I'm so thankful for that. During this time apart she really strengthened her relationship with her church community and really desires to continue growing spiritually. She is proud of my recent actions but also knows that it will take more time for us to be on the same page spiritually. She has distanced herself from me and is drawn to her community who can help her grow spiritually. Of course something I can't provide at this point but wish to someday.*

She says that she is happy about my faith journey and will always support me. She says she will never give up on me and my conversion but may have to let go of our relationship.*

It pains me deeply that she wishes to move on at the same time I'm making strides to join the faith and establish that spiritual connection with her. I truly love her and wish to marry her and raise a catholic family together. Something she is very adamant about.*
*
I feel like all I can do is continue praying. Did I bring this upon myself? Is this better for the both of us? Can we do anything to save our relationship?

I truly appreciate your advice and prayers. Thank you for reading.*


#2

I do not know if there is any hope for your future together at this time, and if not it may be for the best.

You say you are interested and have read a lot about Catholicism and now are in RCIA. If you are truly drawn to becoming Catholic because you are convinced it is the true faith then I recommend you continue and be the best Catholic you can be. That may be the reason God brought you together.

If you have come this far in the faith because you want to marry this young lady and that is your first reason for wanting to be Catholic, then that is a red flag.

I hope the best for you!


#3

A woman s heart should be so lost in god that a man must seek him in order to find her

Ill pray for you both and God´s will to be done in your lives.

Godbless


#4

It sounds like she is ready to move on. You will always have her to thank for introducing you to the Catholic Church, but for now it is probably best for you two to part as friends and seek your future spouses elsewhere.


#5

[quote="Dorothy, post:2, topic:248560"]
I do not know if there is any hope for your future together at this time, and if not it may be for the best.

You say you are interested and have read a lot about Catholicism and now are in RCIA. If you are truly drawn to becoming Catholic because you are convinced it is the true faith then I recommend you continue and be the best Catholic you can be. That may be the reason God brought you together.

If you have come this far in the faith because you want to marry this young lady and that is your first reason for wanting to be Catholic, then that is a red flag.

I hope the best for you!

[/quote]

Thank you Dorothy. Thank for pointing out the red flag; I agree that is a huge red flag. However, I am interested in the faith for myself first and foremost, and am learning about the faith, and attending RCIA through my own desires.

Thank you for your recommendation to continue to be the best Catholic I can be.

We do not know what God has planned for us. But we've both agreed that his plan is for us to grow closer to him without a romantic relationship with eachother. Only God knows whether we'll be together in the future. And I'm praying that his will be done, for that will bring us the greatest fulfillment.


#6

[quote="Anna_Gregorach, post:3, topic:248560"]
A woman s heart should be so lost in god that a man must seek him in order to find her

Ill pray for you both and God´s will to be done in your lives.

Godbless

[/quote]

Thank you for your prayers Anna. I read that quote earlier this year and am understanding and experiencing it now. It is so true!


#7

Thank you Catholic1954.
She is ready to move on to a friendship based relationship with me. I feel that is the best as well. I will always have her to thank for introducing me to the Faith. Whatever God has in store for us will be so great. Whether it is with eachother in the future or not. We will both truly be happy staying close to God.

Thanks for helping me to stay positive.


#8

I am happy to read your message. May the Lord be with you on your journey!


#9

There is a strong possibility that your girlfriend is discerning a vocation to religious life. That’s an awesome decision and not easily made. But it may be why she is cooling her relationship to you.

I do hope you continue on your religious journey for your sake. And as my mother was so fond of saying, there are other fish in the sea, pick the best one that jumps into your boat and not the one you have to catch with a hook. :smiley:


closed #10

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