Catholic man's porn addition

I have a porn addiction and I just keep coming back to it. I don’t know how it started. Would it be good to see a therapist or just talk to a priest? Or something else?

:frowning:

There is a great piece of software called ‘K9 Web Protection’ which you can install on your computer. It’s completely free. www1.k9webprotection.com/#self

I am unsure, but I would like to share the following with you that I believe may help you. :slight_smile:

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I would also like to recommend wearing a scapular if you are not already, Mary offers protection against temptations among many other things through it, I have the crusaders brown scapular from here - freebrownscapular.com/order_page.html :slight_smile:

I would also like to share a bit from a post by littlestsouls2 on another thread.

I would also like to share with you some motivational tips that may also help.

**Motivational Tips to Help You Quit **-

Keep the following 3 Ds in mind when you have a craving

**Delay: **remember that the worst cravings last for only a few minutes and will become even less frequent the longer you have quit.

Deep breath: this should help you relax and focus your mind on Jesus or Mary.

Do something else: Prayer, flee into the Virgin Mary’s arms by reciting ‘Hail Mary’s.’

(I would also add, that I believe it’s also important to recognise that you are being tempted, when tempted. Because if you don’t know your under attack, how can you defend yourself by imploring Mary for protection?).

1) A slip up doesn’t mean you’ve failed. What’s important is to work out how you can stop a slip up from happening next time.

2) Don’t say “this is my last time” say “I’m not going to give in today” and take one day at a time.

3) Each craving only lasts a few minutes. Say to yourself “Don’t let this be the day that I blow it.”

4) Once you have quit for a while, the desires to give in will be much less intense and frequent.

5) It’s important that it’s your decision to quit. That you want to quit and that you feel confident you can succeed.

**6) **Be clear about your reason to quit. It will motivate you to keep going.

7) The most dangerous thought you can have is. I will just give in this one time.

8) Remember the sooner you quit. The sooner you will reap the benefits.

**9) **The more times you try to quit. The better you will get at it until you quit for good.

10) Get rid of any provocative images etc anything that tempts you or reminds you of giving in (Otherwise It’s like those who say “I’m going on a diet” yet fill their cupboard with junk food) I believe you can’t rely on will power (as it comes and goes). I believe the best thing to do is to set your environment up so that it pulls for your success. Thus when you turn to God, there are fewer obstacles in order for Him to reach you. www1.k9webprotection.com/#self

11) Avoid challenging occasions.

12) If you are feeling tense doing some exercise will help.

**13) **The most common quitting method for most people is to stop suddenly Go cold turkey.

14) When you quit you might feel some different withdrawal symptoms This is because your body is re-adjusting to being without, don’t worry, it will pass.

15) And most importantly, Never give up giving up.

Sorry for the length, I hope all of this has helped.

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh

Yes indeed. And that means swimsuit pics and non-nude images then. The brown scapular has to be worn all the time I believe. I haven’t taken the body and blood for a long time. Transportation problems.

Porn is a potent spiritual poison. It’s cyanide to the soul. And it is certainly grave matter morally.

Whatever it takes to quit, I recommend you take those steps. If you have to stop using your computer for a year. Do it.

Get rid of every single thing that even in the smallest way could connect you to that media. Throw it all away. Wipe your hard drive if you have to.

Remember, you could die tomorrow or in the night. Porn robs a man of his manhood and makes him see women in a completely corrupted way.

You can beat this with the help of God. I’d recommend confession at least once a week, the sacramentals, like holy water, and praying to St. Michael the Archangel.

There are some good websites that are Catholic that deal just with this addiction.

It’s also good to be accountable to some person.

Don’t take this sin lightly. Fight like a man, my brother.

I’ll pray for you.

Jesus Bless You!!!

You need to get the Lighthouse CD from Jason Evert, and his books they’re AMAZING. Computer filters don’t really work, you have to change yourself. :thumbsup:

Take on the “armor of God”.

This means look at what you do daily in terms of time in prayer / Bible / daily Mass etc. and improve it. The “armor” is like a force field to improve your ability to resist. Other forms of “armor” include going to confession on a schedule, even weekly. Some people say 3 Hail Mary’s daily and ask the Mother of God to pray for them to have the gift of purity. Some people say the Rosary, daily, or at least a decade. Some begin and end each day in prayer and Bible reading.

Don’t miss days or you will have holes in your force field. If you fall, just make your force field stronger.

Other ideas about avoiding the “near occasion of sin” are important. Temptation is much easier to resist, if you resist early. Use the prayer to St. Michael or a Hail Mary when tempted.

Although this is a difficult trial, once you overcome it you will have a healthy respect for the dangers of vice, because you won’t want to be enslaved by something like that again.

Good luck.

Uhhhh, but can’t you change yourself by having the courage to get a computer filter?

It’s not the whole story, but it’s progress.

Just wanted to say a quick THANKS for all the useful information posted.

I also suffer a porn addiction and I can tell you it is the most lonely, soul destroying affliction you could imagine. Many times I’ve said ‘this is it, no more’ only to fall into the trap again.

Frustration, desperation, depression and anxiety are the rewards of this evil.

Please pray for me

Mr Ed

You can find trained, licensed therapists who specialize in treating sexual addictions by going to this website and using the “locate a therapist” search at the top of the page:

iitap.com

Also, Sexaholics Anonymous has been around for ages and is a free 12 Step-based fellowship. Meetings happen all over the world and via internet. You can find a meeting by going to their website: sa.org

It takes more than just software, ultimately, but as a powerful aid I recommend this: accountable2you.com/?gclid=Cj0KEQjwo82eBRCR1Yr2u-G-sK8BEiQAbrSjVFnMdI7Pk41fX1DxyB_gu88YxGZdoJX33KqrdXm5r0EaAhDY8P8HAQ

Accountable2You lets you visit any site you wish, so it doesn’t render you unable to visit perfectly innocent sites that just look suspicious. Rather, it stores every site you visit on an online list that only your chosen accountability partners can see, and sends them an alert if the site looks suspicious. If it was a mistake of the software, your accountability partner can figure that out easily enough by looking at the title or description.

Now be warned, you want your accountability partner to be someone that you don’t mind surrendering a ton of your privacy to, because every single site you visit–even down to who you speak to on messengers, though NOT the content of the conversations, rest assured, will show up. And if you’re on Facebook, for instance, it’s even thorough enough to say whose pages you’re visiting, etc. But while this seems like a scary surrender of privacy, in some ways it’s necessary: If your accountability partner is thorough enough to check the entire list regularly, they’ll be able to know if you tried any “tricky” ways around the software by visiting non-porn sites that happen to have pornographic pictures or videos, etc.

So it’s pretty powerful stuff. You can remove it at any time, BUT that too will alert your accountability partner.

Bill -

Go talk to your Priest…over and over… go to reconciliation every time you fall down. Don’t wait either when you fall. Go in quickly. It’s important to go in quickly and not delay.

No matter what the sin, especially habitual ones, seeing a priest at confession and receiving absolution gives us the grace needed to fight the weakness of the flesh.

So go in not only for his words of practical advice but for the absolution and grace offered in the sacrament.

PnP

(footnote: a rosary in the pocket and prayer to Mary when you feel temptation are practical ideas in this case. Or tape a prayer card to your computer)

:sad_yes:

I believe a good way to overcoming impurity, is meditation on the Passion of Christ and to remember, whenever in despair over sin, that the great tradgedy of Judas, is that he could have been St. Judas if only he had trusted in the mercy of God.

I believe this booklet is very helpful.

The Passion - loveandmercy.org/Eng-TP-Reg.pdf

The Divine Mercy Image - St. Faustina

http://s8.postimg.org/422f1cyxh/Christ_9.jpg

Jesus to St. Faustina

"My mercy is greater than your sins and those of the entire world. Who can measure the extent of my goodness? For you I descended from heaven to earth; for you I allowed myself to be nailed to the cross; for you I let my Sacred Heart be pierced with a lance, thus opening wide the source of mercy for you. Come, then, with trust to draw graces from this fountain. I never reject a contrite heart. Your misery has disappeared in the depths of My mercy" (Diary, 1485).

"My Heart overflows with great mercy for souls, and especially for poor sinners. If only they could understand that I am the best of Fathers to them and that it is for them that the Blood and Water flowed from My Heart as from a fount overflowing with mercy. For them I dwell in the tabernacle as King of Mercy." (Diary, 367).

"Tell sinful souls not to be afraid to approach Me; speak to them of My great mercy" (Diary, 1396).

"My daughter, know that My Heart is mercy itself. From this sea of mercy, graces flow out upon the whole world. No soul that has approached Me has ever gone away unconsoled. All misery gets buried in the depths of My mercy, and every saving and sanctifying grace flows from this fountain…" (Diary, 1777).

The Message

How to Pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy

Jesus to St. Faustina -

"…when you go to confession, to this fountain of My mercy, the Blood and Water which came forth from My Heart always flows down upon your soul and ennobles it. Every time you go to confession, immerse yourself entirely in My mercy, with great trust, so that I may pour the bounty of My grace upon your soul. When you approach the confessional, know this, that I myself am waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest, but I myself act in your soul. Here the misery of the soul meets the God of mercy. Souls draw graces solely with the vessel of trust. If their trust is great, there is no limit to My generosity. The torrents of grace inundate humble souls." (Diary, 1603).

http://s28.postimg.org/6bvy5pai5/Prodigal_Son.jpg

Jesus to St. Faustina -

Oh, how much I am hurt by a soul’s distrust! Such a soul professes that I am Holy and Just, but does not believe that I am Mercy and does not trust in My Goodness. Even the devils glorify My Justice but do not believe in My Goodness (Diary, 300).

he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities… by his wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:5

"The Passion of Christ is sufficient to serve as a guide and model for our entire life… On the Cross, we find the example of every virtue.” - Saint Thomas Aquinas

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http://s15.postimg.org/s9fu5lkbv/Crucifixion.jpg

I believe all He asks of us in return, is that we have a consciousness of how greatly we have sinned against Him, that we accept His mercy… His forgiveness, and that we allow that same love and mercy to flow through us to our brothers and sisters.

In the Old Testament, the people used to offer sacrifices to God in order to atone for their sins.

Instead of offering sacrifices to me, I want you to be merciful to others. Matthew 9:13

God Bless

Thank you for reading
Josh

Go to confession and try not to do it again. Get rid of all the porn you have, all and everywhere. If not, you have the ‘near occasion of sin’ around you and that is one of the things you declare you will rid yourself of when you say the Act of Contrition. If you have a lot of porn, I would ask the priest’s advice.

Thank you josh987654321 this is incredibly helpful and makes me very grateful there’s people like yourself who are able to give such great guidance. At the moment I feel empowered and in control but, unlike the past, I now realise that temptation will come again and I must prepare myself for it. Anymore info would be gratefully received.

Its interesting but I’ve been to therapy (helped sort term) and been prescribed medication (SSRI’s - did more harm than good), but the only time I’ve truly felt as if I found a way to beat this is when I meditate on the Rosary.

Sean St Jude thanks for your input and I totally agree with what your saying (bit like when your on a diet and should get all the junk food out the house) but unfortunately, like any addiction, there are times when all rationality goes out the window and although the house may have been emptied of all temptation the addict will go out looking for that hit :frowning:

One thing about addiction, and that includes porn addiction, is that you cannot overcome it by willpower alone, nor will any “magic” solution like wearing a scapular be of any long-term help. Nor can you “pray it away”.

It’s far more complicated than that. Yes, professional help can be of benefit, especially from a Catholic-friendly therapist. But also a good, regular confessor who knows you and is familiar with your issues.

The first part of the problem is accepting yourself with all your strengths and foibles. We all have temptations and weaknesses we are ashamed of. The important thing is to be ashamed of the weakness but not of yourself as a person. A porn addiction does not make you an evil person. It just makes you a good person with a problem, porn addiction.

It’s a slow process but the only way to overcome it is to fully trust in God’s mercy, and ask for that mercy through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Never despair of God’s love for you. You have to seek inner transformation. It’s a long process. Monks take a lifetime to achieve it. You will not stop overnight. There will be steps forward, and times you fall backwards.

If you try the “pray a Rosary when you feel tempted”, or wear a scapular or something like that, it is no more than trying to overcome the issue through willpower. It may work for a time. It may in fact work for a very long time; I had a particular issue that I managed to bury for 15 years by doing just that.

But eventually, willpower will fail you and you’ll crash and burn. I did. Plus in those 15 years of “burying” the problem, the evil came out in other ways and I made life miserable for those around me.

But through inner transformation you will improve. You may never achieve 100% perfection, but I guarantee you will improve.

But remember, trust in God, not your willpower.

Dear Ora, Didn’t read but the first paragraph of your message and just want to add that you can indeed pray anything away, including addiction to porn. I did. And, by the way, the scapulars are not magic, they are sacramental and in and off themselves, they have no power whatever.

Have a nice week,

My experience teaches that prayer alone will not “convert”. Inner conversion is what’s required.

Prayer can support that. But without the inner conversion, no amount of prayer will succeed “for good”. It may mask the issue for a while, maybe even a long while. But it will not remove the innate tendency or shame associated with it.

Prayer, if it is simply an act of willpower won’t cure anything. If it’s used to support surrender one’s trust totally to God, that’s a different matter.

Perhaps you should read the rest of what I wrote :shrug:

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