Catholic marriage rate in decline?


#1

I read somewhere in the news recently that the marriage rate of/among Catholics has declined a whole lot since the 1960’s/1970’s…

why is that?

Some say/think that it’s the Bishops’s fault here in the USA, for being liberal or too modern…

What do you all think?


#2

[quote="jason3477, post:1, topic:249282"]
I read somewhere in the news recently that the marriage rate of/among Catholics has declined a whole lot since the 1960's/1970's..

why is that?

Some say/think that it's the Bishops's fault here in the USA, for being liberal or too modern....

What do you all think?

[/quote]

Well, I think one of the responses in your other thread offers a clue:

[quote="themeginthemoon, post:6, topic:249029"]
Do you desire a girlfriend and future wife, or are you perhaps called to the single vocation?

[/quote]

In other words, many Catholics discourage marriage, either by inventing the false "vocation to the single life", or criticizing people for simply seeking marriage as either not following God's will, not being patient enough. You get the garbage that you have to accept being alone first (never mind the fact that if you could handle being alone and single then chances are you can handle lifelong celibacy, in which case you might be wearing a collar by now), and that all you have to do is stop looking and do God's will and at some magical moment your spouse will be beamed down to your driveway. All these things serve to stop people from pursuing. The USCCB actually has many initiatives and web resources on the importance of marriage and strengthening it; however, they really need to clamp down on the garbage that I mentioned above.

Mary Beth Bonacci also had a good article about the state of Catholic singles in which she states that Catholic singles have a hard time finding good Catholic spouses because "the pool is poisoned":

catholicexchange.com/2006/03/02/81185/


#3

Thanks for the reply.....

I sent you an eamil just now.....

anyone ever heard of Jason Evert-Chasity.com?


#4

I think its the overlaxiety of our whole society.We've become so materialistic and secular.People don't see the need for God today.In fact that's what many people are being taught.Many say that God is an invention of man.That God is just something that older generations needed because of they lack of security in themselves.that God is a myth which people need to lean on/


#5

I think singles don't feel it's necessary any longer. I should say many young singles don't find it necessary any longer. Marriage in general has become obsolete to many people; not just Catholics. Others can blame the bishops if they want but if people don't want to get married, they're not going to get married. I know for myself, marriage isn't as appealing as it once was. I always believed I would be married one day but I'm not so sure any longer.


#6

I think its several things:
1.Women are fed up with men who act like they should be living at home with their mothers.
2. Men don’t want to risk being taken to the cleaners and reduced to a CS check.
3.People assume a Catholic wedding = a big white wedding. When in fact it doesn’t. On Wednesday my former roommate is getting married at her church. I believe only twenty people will be invited.


#7

I'm not sure if it is an actual decline or a postponement. I think many of us are not getting married as early as our parents did.
I currently have quite a few catholic friends engaged, some young, some not so young. I am 31 and I am still hoping to meet the right man to get married.


#8

I believe marriage is in decline because as a nation out morals have been in decline for decades. Just look around you with everyone living together why get married what's the incentive? I know many folks who are living together and have multiple children even and are in no rush to marry or have no intention of doing so. There's a lot of other reasons. Women are fast to accept less of a commitment from men now days, many people are lapsed Christians at best, most believe if it feels good do it, with birth control consequences can be limited, there's no social stigma against it anymore and the news media and entertainment industry have mainstreamed all this for decades. Part of the blame can go to the church as well for not giving singles and potential marriage partners the proper support and guidence.


#9

I think that there are probably many reasons why it is in decline. But can only answer for myself. I personally was afraid of the whole preparation and did not want to wait a year to get married. I guess In was just in a hurry and didn't want to slow down... Now, I am in the process of getting it Blessed so I can go to confession and receive Holy Communion. I am sorry I didn't follow the Church from the beginning.;)


#10

[quote="Luvz2travel, post:8, topic:249282"]
I believe marriage is in decline because as a nation out morals have been in decline for decades. Just look around you with everyone living together why get married what's the incentive? I know many folks who are living together and have multiple children even and are in no rush to marry or have no intention of doing so. There's a lot of other reasons. Women are fast to accept less of a commitment from men now days, many people are lapsed Christians at best, most believe if it feels good do it, with birth control consequences can be limited, there's no social stigma against it anymore and the news media and entertainment industry have mainstreamed all this for decades. Part of the blame can go to the church as well for not giving singles and potential marriage partners the proper support and guidence.

[/quote]

This is key, this is now a massive problem in the Church and should be addressed and tackled through various program's


#11

There are many reasons that marriage (not just among Catholics is on the decline)--cultural, financial, etc. It's true that it's very hard to find a spouse with your same values and who is compatible on other levels.

But I also notice among almost all of my single Catholic friends a resistance to use some of the few resources that are available to them, like online dating sites. What if God's will for you is to swallow your pride and try something outside your comfort zone like online dating? And I also think some of these people have unrealistic expectations of marriage and what they want in a spouse. Yes, you should be searching for a good Catholic person, but he/she is not going to perfect no matter what and it is not going to be a fairy tale. It takes work, sacrifice, and humility--so why should it be any different in the dating/courtship phase?


#12

[quote="Schieffelin, post:11, topic:249282"]

But I also notice among almost all of my single Catholic friends a resistance to use some of the few resources that are available to them, like online dating sites. What if God's will for you is to swallow your pride and try something outside your comfort zone like online dating?

[/quote]

I really wonder if part of the problem is that we are hiding behind the computer screen instead of interacting in real life.


#13

[quote="Norseman82, post:12, topic:249282"]
I really wonder if part of the problem is that we are hiding behind the computer screen instead of interacting in real life.

[/quote]

This could definitely be the case but it's sort of a whole separate conversation from the point I was making. Some individuals--due to geographic location, schedules, etc--have a hard time finding like-minded Catholics to get closer to. You can use Catholic dating sites (or other "non traditional") methods to make the initial connection and then develop the deeper connection from there--not necessarily in front of a computer screen.


#14

[quote="jason3477, post:1, topic:249282"]
I read somewhere in the news recently that the marriage rate of/among Catholics has declined a whole lot since the 1960's/1970's..

why is that?

Some say/think that it's the Bishops's fault here in the USA, for being liberal or too modern....

What do you all think?

[/quote]

I think people are not as rushed to get married, especially women, because many opportunities have come up for women. They no longer have to get married and raise children by default. It's something they can feel confident choosing if they want. Women can choose to even stay home, and homeschool, etc. But it's not something they must do anymore. They go to college and get good jobs, and therefore, are able to either wait longer, or stay single indefinitely. Single people can even adopt children.

Though, I do know many people who just get married civily. And that's because they feel constrained by the rules of the Church and don't want to deal with the Church. They are
unwilling to follow the rules set forth by the Church. So they just have a civil ceremony.


#15

Marijuana--estrogenized males. Not to mention soy--another phyto-estrogen. A Japanese study showed that males with high estrogen are more aggressive with women. Thirdly, estrogens from birth control pills in drinking water. That's my take on the state of the marital union. God bless and help America.


#16

I think with the divorce rate, a lot of people would rather be single than risk being divorced.

I can only speak for myself. And since I only lived in my time I can not say if it is different now a days but personally this is what I suspect.

I feel like I am stuck between 2 different mentalities. On the one hand I am modern, ie capable of taking care of myself as a single woman. So when a man promises me the moon I see through it. Back in the days where women did not get educated, when a man would say ‘I am going to work at (insert job) and make enough money so that you can have (insert whatever)’ a woman had no way of telling if it was true. Any man I ever dated I knew how much money he earned so when he would say ‘I want to but a house’ I knew darn well whether of not he could afford it and never fell for it

Disclosure: I did not hold low income against him, I held the fact he wouldn’t live within his means against him

On the other hand, I am a traditional in that I want the man to be the main bread winner and I be the main housekeeper (with a bit of sharing of roles on both sides)

Well… that is a contradiction and I feel since I can’t have it both ways, it makes sense that I am single

CM


#17

The same reason less people in general are getting married - a cultural perception that adultery isn't as bad as it actually is, that getting married is somewhat too costly (seriously, it doesn't need to be a big white wedding - all you need attending are five people - the couple, two witnesses, and Father), that why should you, when it's all about me, me, me (marriage is about sacrifice to some degree). In other words, it's the atrocious coarsening of our culture.


#18

[quote="cmscms, post:16, topic:249282"]
I think with the divorce rate, a lot of people would rather be single than risk being divorced.

I can only speak for myself. And since I only lived in my time I can not say if it is different now a days but personally this is what I suspect.

I feel like I am stuck between 2 different mentalities. On the one hand I am modern, ie capable of taking care of myself as a single woman. So when a man promises me the moon I see through it. Back in the days where women did not get educated, when a man would say 'I am going to work at (insert job) and make enough money so that you can have (insert whatever)' a woman had no way of telling if it was true. Any man I ever dated I knew how much money he earned so when he would say 'I want to but a house' I knew darn well whether of not he could afford it and never fell for it

Disclosure: I did not hold low income against him, I held the fact he wouldn't live within his means against him

On the other hand, I am a traditional in that I want the man to be the main bread winner and I be the main housekeeper (with a bit of sharing of roles on both sides)

Well.... that is a contradiction and I feel since I can't have it both ways, it makes sense that I am single

CM

[/quote]

The problem with your view is that you will only attract two type's of men, the traditionalist like yourself or the dominant male who can use his salary against you in that you rely on him to survive, some men like to use this to take a authoritarian position in the household and often treat their wive's as object's for their own pleasure or will. I believe yes the man is the head and the women the heart but due to women decade's ago flooding into the job market our economy has changed dramatically. There was a time whenever a man earning a minimum wage could sustain a household simply because this was how it had to be. Today even two people working will find it difficult at time's to do this therefore the household has become much more reliant on women working. I agree it's unfortunate but the feminist's cried about it so now youn's have it. The economy has now made the traditional family impossible whether we like it or not

G.K Chesterton i think explain's it very well: The basic problem of feminism is the misconception that men and women are equal. It may come as a shock to some people, but there is in fact a difference between men and women. Chesterton says, "The difference between man and woman accounts for almost everything important that has happened. We must realize that when we try to make man and woman alike." He says that of the two sexes, the woman is in the more powerful position. The woman controls the home, that fundamental unit of society. If you control the home, you control society. Chesterton says, "When I think of the power of woman, my knees knock under me." Ironically, the feminists, by giving up their power in the home, gave up all their power. When they moved into the workplace, most women certainly became like most men in that they became wage slaves, but they did not gain anything, and they certainly did not gain power. It was a distinct step downward. "What is called the economic independence of women is the same as what is called the economic wage-slavery of men."Feminists lost the privilege of raising their children to a day-care industry or a public school. Or they did something even worse: they killed their children.
- Dale Ahlquist on G K Chesterton


#19

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