Catholic Marriage


#1

Both my fiance and I are Catholic. He is currently over in Iraq till Oct./Nov. 2006. Upon his return he probably will not return to the same state I live in, but to his duty station. We want to get married by the church but not sure how we can do pre-cana this while living states away from each other. I understand it is a six-month process. Unfortunately, we can not travel back and forth often due to the expense. I can not move to his location due to the lack of jobs and I would be unable to support myself. Has anyone ever been in this situation? I’ve already contacted a Priest but it will be two weeks until I am able to meet with him.


#2

[quote=rms]Both my fiance and I are Catholic. He is currently over in Iraq till Oct./Nov. 2006. Upon his return he probably will not return to the same state I live in, but to his duty station. We want to get married by the church but not sure how we can do pre-cana this while living states away from each other. I understand it is a six-month process. Unfortunately, we can not travel back and forth often due to the expense. I can not move to his location due to the lack of jobs and I would be unable to support myself. Has anyone ever been in this situation? I’ve already contacted a Priest but it will be two weeks until I am able to meet with him.
[/quote]

Under the circumstances, your priest may well start you on pre-Cana. Sometimes also military priests have alternative pre-Cana programs (like listening to a tape series supplemented when you get together). The best thing is that you are starting early. You might also have your fiance check with his Catholic military chaplain in Iraq or with the nearest unit back home, just to start the process. Congratulations. God will take care of you.


#3

RMS - Welcome to the Military Catholic Family :slight_smile:

When my husband and I got engaged he lived in Germany and I lived in the States. We were only expected to see each other for 1 week that year were to be married. The priest was very helpful in making arrangments for us. The military priests are wonderful. They are used to the situation and will assist your fiance in what to do.

So, don’t stress. We had more of the problem that he called me up and said he couldn’t make the wedding due to a deployment! Make sure when you are asking about reception halls and such about their cancellation policy due to these types of circumstances. Most will accomodate you. Just make sure you get it in writing :slight_smile:

Best Wishes! Hope to see you around the forums more!

-ProudArmyWife


#4

[quote=rms]Both my fiance and I are Catholic. He is currently over in Iraq till Oct./Nov. 2006. Upon his return he probably will not return to the same state I live in, but to his duty station. We want to get married by the church but not sure how we can do pre-cana this while living states away from each other. I understand it is a six-month process. Unfortunately, we can not travel back and forth often due to the expense. I can not move to his location due to the lack of jobs and I would be unable to support myself. Has anyone ever been in this situation? I’ve already contacted a Priest but it will be two weeks until I am able to meet with him.
[/quote]

There are priests who will work with the long distance situation and do all the necessary pre-cana via phone, email, etc., and then maybe one visit.

My DH and I were long distance, and our deacon who did our prep met with us one day, all day rather than the 3-5 meetings they usually have so that DH could make one trip to my city.

It can be done. Talk to the priest.


#5

In our diocese, an approved option for marriage prep is Engaged Encounter weekend. If you’ll have weekend visits, you might be able to do EE.

I read recently about an on-line marriage prep program. It was in the Nat’l Catholic Register, so I’d guess the program is solid. www.catholicmarriagepreponline.com (perhaps?)

Good luck!! —KCT


#6

RMS,
Congratulations! My husband and I were together, but not in the state where we were going to get married. We contacted the priest in my home state who said he would perform the wedding if we spoke to a priest in TX. We spoke with the military priest in TX individually and together, I made a confession (husband is non-catholic), went on a weekend encounter and were married when we got to my home town. We have been married now almost 14 yrs! He is also in Iraq right now. I’m not sure where your fiance is, but I understand there is a scarcity of priests over there. That is not to say that ya’ll can’t work this out it just may take some work on his part in getting it all together over there. Anyway, I know my story is different from yours but I just wanted to let you know that anything is possible and I think it’s great that you guys are working so hard to make this marriage happen in the church. Best of luck to you both and I’ll keep your fiance and all the soldiers in my prayers.


#7

You need to find out the closest miltary chaplin! They know how and what to do in these situations. God wants you to be married in his church, so the military chaplins are wonderful at finding that middle ground of the church and the miltary.

When my hubby and I went through our own pre-canna, I met with the priest several times while hubby was out to sea (Navy). Then my hubby met with the priest by himself once and we went together once. These were done around ship movments. Since you are dealing with the army, they might already have something planned for people in your circumstance. You are not the first to be in this situation.

Also, the refund policy for catering, photgrapher, etc. is important. and plan on the wedding being a month later than his expected return to the states, this gives you a little wiggle room incase the deployment is extended a few weeks. I got married one month following the scheduled return of the boat from a deployment, they came home one week late! That still gave me a couple of weeks lead time!


#8

Definately follow kp1’s advice and meet with a military chaplain. They will help you out a lot. My husband and I were married one week after he retruned from Kuwait (thank goodness for the wiggle room as it was a few weeks later than we expected).

In our diocese, EE is required. So we HAD to do that before he deployed in the first place. But he chaplain will be able to work with you on meeting and such.

Good luck and remember you are marrying the Army too, it’s not always going to be your husbands fault he’s home late:)


#9

[Good luck and remember you are marrying the Army too, it’s not always going to be your husbands fault he’s home late:)[/COLOR]/QUOTE

AMEN :wink:


#10

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