reading the OP’s post it is part of the changing views on citizens relationship with regards to the state.
Perhaps he can correct me if my understanding of his post is incorrect.
There are some who do their religion through the state (and many who get workers wealth transferred to them for doing it, including Catholics). There is an increasingly large group of people who are rejecting that hypothesis as government over reach and something not to be associated with and do not want to be made to pay for it. This movement is both religious and secular and government marriage is a small microcosm of a larger issue.
People who do their religion through the state believe they are doing a good thing (even Christ’s work) but what is happening is a severe fracture of politics and a lack of respect and association with the state. So Trump’s election under the banner of ‘drain the swamp’ symbolises a much bigger, and worldwide movement against the role of the state. The ‘not my President’ people is the other side of the coin who see the state as their religious vehicle. There are some Catholics who sympathise with the second group, especially if they are receiving tax payers money. This fracture is causing government to be more and more paralysed and disrespected and criticised as the ‘other’ guy (Trump or Obama) is ‘resisted’ by those who don’t want them to have the power of the state. The only solution in the long term is to lesson the power of the state, especially in regards to social and cultural powers.
In short, the more power the state has, the more heightened the political division in society, the more people lose faith in government and identify less with it.
So for example, the OP (and myself) feel this way and see no reason why the secular state needs to validate a religious wedding. We are exploring ways in which the state validation of marriage can be bypassed.
As I mentioned earlier, secular people in Australia are also seeing less reason why the secular state needs to validate their union/marriage and they are choosing to bypass this by not bothering with any state input at all.
These views are the way society is moving and some people are fearful of this, especially if they are being paid by the state (others wealth) or who still see the state as their religious vehicle.