Well of course the obvious question is to show where I have not been respectful to posters, especially considering the abuse that has come the other way.
I suspect what people are calling a passive aggressive tone is standing up for myself and countering the abuse while at the same time being respectful. Perhaps I will humbly ask those making that criticism to apply it to themselves.
If I am thanking a poster for explaining the American tax system to me and asking for her to confirm that I understand her correctly, then if people are going to step in to give criticism for the sake of criticism, I am going to politely ask them to refrain from doing so. Obviously if I am being polite to the extent that I thank her and ask her to confirm that I understand her, this is not being passive aggressive, it is being polite and respectful.
For others to step in and implicitly accuse me of saying (or thinking) that I have the right to determine who replies on a thread is clearly incorrect. It is a criticism that can clearly be shown as incorrect from the reading of the thread.
What it looks like is that some people are stepping in to be abusive and they are not handling it very well that I am not being abusive back to them.