Catholics, what if you don't want children during marriage?


Well, the church teaching I suppose…


I was born to parents because they wanted me. What would’ve been wrong was if I was born to those who didn’t want me, because you can’t change the way people feel. It would show in the parents eventually, and think of how crappy that kid’s life would be with parents who aren’t naturally inclined to have kids. If I was not wanted, well, I would have never existed in the first place, and that’s fine with me. :woman_shrugging:


That’s the thing: I don’t understand why separating conception from sex is so bad. Granted, I understand about homosexuality, since gays often want a family but can’t get kids in the traditional way and it doesn’t provide the same satisfaction as a heterosexual marriage. But half the married couples we know aren’t even fit to have kids.


Are you sure about that? Were you actually planned or did you just happen. What will you do if you manage to get pregnant in birth control ( I got pregnant on the injection) will you love and accept that child… birth control is not 100% fool proof


What about the divine place? Well, how am I supposed to know? All I know are the goals and ambition I’m working for in my life, and as long as I’m not sinning or hurting anyone, I don’t see how God fits into the equation.
I think the most beautiful thing about life is that we have free reign with our lives. I don’t think God would want for me to have children if that’s what I’m most averse to. God’s a gentleman.


Birth control is a Sin so yes you are sinning. And what if God’s plan is for you to have children. If you don’t want children in marriage then the only other option is abstinence or learn NFP however you have to realise NFP isn’t 100% fool proof either


And how many times in the Bible people had other goals and ambitions and God had other plans?

Our life’s do not belong to us. Sure, we have free will, but, if we don’t keep our priorities straight, we’ll never become the best versions of ourselves God intended us to be.


Well here’s the thing: doesn’t the wife ever deserve a right to say “no”, even within the confines of marriage? Why doesn’t the wife get some say in HER sexual life? Why is it that the husband is always entitled to sex how he wants, when he wants? You see how this can lead to marital rape?


The rules apply to BOTH SEXES. The wife is also entitled to sex unless the husband has good reason.


That goes 2 ways if you want sex with your spouse and he doesn’t want it there has to be a valid reason


I think you misunderstand the fundamental nature of free will. We are free to do GOOD.


Fyi I’m 100% pro-life. If I used birth control (the non-abortifacient type) and still got pregnant, well, I’d try to love the child. If I can’t love the child, I’ll give it up for adoption, where it’ll be with parents who want it. My reasoning is that kids happen to couples whether they want a child or not because it’s simply nature. Not because of divine intervention. And couples who absolutely, positively know they don’t want a child are better off without one. I’d choose birth control because of preventative reasons, not because it destroys a life. What are your thoughts on vasectomies, by the way?


God is at the CENTER of the equation. This is a misguided view of our duty to God and to neighbor. I think you also have a distorted view of what is and isn’t a sin. We are not the arbiters of what is and isn’t a sin. God is.

Contraception is a sin against the sixth commandment. We are called to conform ourselves to God, not the other way around.


Read up on the marital debt, particularly St Augustine. You exchange a right to your body when you marry. You ignored the prior poster who did indeed give examples of legitimately refusing the marital debt.

If one has no legitimate reason to refuse, then one should not and indeed it can be sinful to refuse in such a case.

The husband owes the marital debt to the wife, also. I’m not sure why you are painting it as a one way street.


Rom overstated the marital debt, but it goes both ways. The wife can demand it of the husband, too.


Sterilization is also a sin against the sixth commandment.


Agree! Nobody has the right to impose their will on another, about sex or anything, that is not what marriage or indeed any rship is about. Nowhere does the church say you have to say yes no matter what that’s the sort of thing people used to say in the 50s along with those backward thinking ‘marriage manuals’ with such sage advice as ‘giving her the back of your hand equals love’ and ‘make sure you have his slippers ready and martini fixed for when he comes home’ Not having it


Life is really not as simple as, “all or nothing” ie no romance, or romance with lots of babies. Spousal love doesn’t always mean you possess a motherly love, and you can’t conflate the two.


Your body belonging to one another does NOT mean you can’t refuse sex. It’s about being available to each other but also respecting each other’s free will


A man having a vasectomy is the same as a woman having a hysterectomy and should not be done unless there is a severe medical reason that cannot be treated in another way.

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