Catholics, what if you don't want children during marriage?


The natural order is God’s doing. You write as if God’s action and nature are separate, as if God only tinkers supernaturally from time to time.


Please show me where I said it did.


Having a child despite birth control means that I have owned up to the fact that there’s a small chance that I’ll have a child. I’d take that responsibility. It’s not the same as knowing that I got pregnant but I could’ve taken preventive measures beforehand.


This is not really a good analogy. I think you probably meant tubal ligation? Tubal ligation and vasectomy only have one purpose: sterilization.

A hysterectomy is not done for sterilization but if there is something wrong with the uterus.


Have you tried talking to a priest about how you feel regarding birth control.
Have you been through marriage preparation class yet?


‘You exchange a right to your body… when you marry ‘ suggests this is what you mean. At least that is how it came across.


You are quoting out of context. In the SAME post, I also referenced legitimate reasons to refuse.


Contraception is sinful because it disorders the marital act.


Neither spousal love nor motherly love are things one “posseses”. They’re choices. (Of course, certain aspects of motherly love such as the natural desire for children that often occurs is not necessarily a choice. But ultimately, love - the willing of the good of another - is a choice. That’s what I mean when I say “love”. Just to make sure we’re not talking past each other, I wanted to point that out.)

In some cases it is.

The bottom line is that artificial birth control is wrong. The Church has ruled that way, and the Church’s ruling takes precedence over your (or anyone else’s) individual thoughts on the matter. If you choose not to have children, then if you want to be in good standing with the Church, you’ll have to refrain from romantic (sexual) love, because the two very much go hand-in-hand (assuming both individuals involved are fertile).


It comes down to trusting God and trying to stick to being open to life . I don’t feel any maternal instinct and would be happy if never had children yet I am married, and since getting a suitable home have subconsciously started building what could be a nursery in the spare room. Don’t have desire for a kid but love my husband and am prepared for the possibility God may send me a child next year. Pray hope and don’t worry


Are you catholic are you planning on getting married in a catholic church or are you planning on marrying a catholic ?


Profile says she is orthodox.

Also, I think she ran out of replies for her first day.



We are put here on this earth to love & serve God, if we want to be truly happy. Whose will will you chose?

You are in my prayers, please pray for me.

Perhaps it would help to take some classes to understand the Catholic faith better.


Yes, she does, if she has a justifiable reason. For example, if you have a splitting headache and you don’t think you can perform the marital act well, then you can ask him to wait until the headache goes away.

The wife does have some say in her sexual life. But if she refuses sex without a justified reason, then she is also not letting her husband have a say in their sexual life together. Do you think that is fair?

He is not always entitled to sex how he wants it and when he wants it. His rights have limits, too. For example, if you feel that he is only using you, and that the marital act is no longer an expression of love but simply an avenue for indulging in animal passion, then you may have a legitimate reason to refuse.

If the husband’s request is inconsiderate, yes it may lead to marital rape. But if the wife’s refusal is without a justifiable reason, then it is just as bad as marital infidelity.

Exactly! But you can’t say you’re being available to your spouse if you refuse his request without a justifiable reason.


How any women have withheld sex until they got something they wanted from their husbands?


How exactly is it God’s plan if even the thought of having children grosses me out to the point where I’ve had neurosis about it? Fertilization doesn’t always equal an innate ability to love and care for children.


What do you mean “grosses you out”?


I thought the 6th commandment was “thou shalt not kill”


My standing with the Church’s rules, or any church for that matter, has nothing to do with my stand with God.


I have miscarried multiple times. I know for a fact it happened according to God’s will and for a purpose. My children are blessed to have been born into heaven, and I have seen the way that they have interceded on my family’s behalf here on earth.

I think you need to reconsider your ideas of the way God moves through us. You need to reconsider your ideas of what marriage and life are truly about. And of you aren’t even Catholic, I think you need to reconsider what your purpose in this debate is. Why do you care what Catholics believe? How does it affect you?

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